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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 7:43 am 
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Hello all,
I believe the last time I posted on this site was almost a year ago, when I was just getting on sub. The people on here, I'm not sure if you all are still here, were amazing, after my last shot of oxy before my induction I felt like, well you all know what, and came on here to distract myself and found the most incredibly supportive group of people ever, and best of all, you all actually DO understand what I felt like then, and that's what made me keep posting, no matter how horrible I felt. I posted a few times after that for the first week or two while I was on sub, then stopped because, well I'm not sure, but since it has been about a year I wanted to come back and thank everyone for talking to me so much, and helping me get through it, because I seriously had NO friends in person, and some days you all were the only "contact" with people I had.

So I am pleased to say, that my life is drastically different now, I don't even feel like the same person, and am honestly embarrassed to even remember that part of my life, and how it got that way. I'm sure you can search my posts from then and read them. Anyway, I found out at my last doctor's appointment that apparently some kind of city law has changed where he lives, and he will not be able to prescribe sub in his city after the 1st of march. And rather than switch to another doctor and go through that mess again, I decided I am just going to start tapering off. I have about 30 pills left in this script and one more script of 60 after that to do this with, and so far I am down to about 2 mgs a day. I think I am going to do the liquid taper down of .20 mg's a day, and thought it might be a good idea to come back on here to have support while I do it!

As for what has changed with me, I now have a boyfriend that I have been with for almost a year, and he has been on sub in the past and tapered down, so I have his complete understanding and support, so that is nice. He is the first sober, smart, educated, and actually NICE guy I have ever been with in my life. He has a car. And a job. And a good family. He actually tells me how much I mean to him everyday, and I've never had anyone in my past like that, they were all complete losers that I knew I could get drugs from. I start my first day at a new job tomorrow that I absolutely would not have if not for the sub. When I first got on it, the thing I had the most problem with was the idle time. No longer was sitting and staring at the walls entertaining, I had to find something to do. So I started learning about computers. I made myself buy books and videos, and everyday just filled my idle time up with that.

Eventually I got into software programming, and finally got to the point where I could program just about anything. It's the most successful I have ever been at something in my entire life. So thought hmm, maybe I could make a living at this, and sure enough weeks later I had a job interview at a software design company, and they offered my an entry level position making, well I won't state specifically, but it's more money that I could ever have dreamed of making with no college degree, and lets just say that now I can live in a house, a nice house, instead of the ghetto apartment I've been in. I can buy a car, I can live like a "grown up". And one day if I decide to have a kid, I'll be able to support him/her, with or without the dad. My new company will never know the person I used to be, and I'm glad. I have the most unbelieveable relationship with my family, I go on weekly lunch and shopping outings with my mom and sister, and life is just overall, awesome. I'm also in the best shape ever, contrary to most people I gained weight while on opiates, food just tasted sooooo good when I was high. Now I exercise, and I'm down to around 155 or so, and for being 5'10" I think that's awesome!

I never, ever, in a million years thought that I would be ok with not having that euphoric feeling, but what I've realized is that eventually your body/brain will create its own euphoria, if you just give it a chance without substances. So I am hoping for the best with this taper down, and it's good to be back here and read through all of the posts, from people who are just starting where I was so long ago, and people who are already where I am trying to get to.

So thanks. Oh and if Cherie is still on here an extra thank you to her, because she was the one who pm'd me the most help.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 8:06 am 
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Very cool post. I love, love, love hearing positive posts. So thank you and good luck on your taper. And your new life!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 9:48 am 
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BTW I suggest a taper that allows for a 20% reduction every four to five days. Taper down to .1 mg a day and you'll be fine.

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:23 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
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Good to "see" you again! Thanks for sharing such a great story with us. I'm just thrilled to hear you're doing so very well. Doesn't it feel great to be a "grown-up" finally? You should be very proud of yourself. Good luck on your taper. Dr. Junig recommends dropping one's dose by 10%. The slower you go the fewer w/d symptoms you will have. I hope you stay around and let us support you in your taper. Glad you're back.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:19 pm 
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WOW, what an incredible story!! I love how everything has turned around for you. Congratulations on already getting down to 2mg, I know that it must have been at least a little difficult to get there.

As I was reading through your post I found that the smile on my face kept getting bigger and bigger. Honestly, I'm just blown away with the progress that you've made.

I love how you taught yourself computer programming and did that ever pay off nicely!! I dabble in VB, VBA and once or twice I did some C++. I'm not sure why, but I sure get a kick out of making a computer bend to my will through programming.

Congratulations again! And thanks for the big smile that is now plastered on my face! :D


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:59 pm 
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Wow, what a great update. Thank you for checking in and sharing your success with us.

Keep up the good work!

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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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