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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:18 pm 
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A quick back story:

Hooked on Vicodin, then oxycodone. About 2-3 years on the oxy. Never a huge habit though. Typically around 60mg a day. But I just couldn't stop. I'm a mother of two small children and the w/d just made life unbearable. Couldn't do it. Sought help, doc offered sub. I did research, found horror stories, almost declined treatment but didn't. Finally came clean to my husband who didn't have a clue. He encouraged the medication. Was rx'd at 4mg a day, but made me sick. So began at 2mg. This was in July. I pretty began the tapering process right away. I am now down to dust on my fingertip, probably not even .25mg a day. It's been rather easy thus far. I'm planning on quitting in the next week or so, maybe start skipping days soon. I feel pretty good.

I know I'm not off yet, but I can say that sub has saved me, from a life of shame and guilt and anxiety. I feel like a new person. I really think if done correctly, this medication is an amazing tool. I also attend one on one counseling, eat healthy, exercise, read lots of inspirational books. I'm not into 12 step and I don't think it's absolutely necessary.

I will continue to post my progress as I get completely off. My doctor is pretty much willing to prescribe me any kind of comfort meds, but all I requested is clonodine so hopefully that'll help some.mbut I don't think it'll be too bad. I think I have the right attitude going into it. I don't want to be hooked on drugs anymore. I'm just done with it all. And once I set my mind on something, I can be quite stubborn. :-)

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


Last edited by Uwillbloved on Sat Nov 01, 2014 12:42 am, edited 8 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 1:11 pm 
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Congrats on your progress! i think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the symptoms when jumping from that small of a dose. The adjustment is no picnic, but totally manageable. Let us know how it goes-


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:38 pm 
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It sure sounds like you are ready to make the jump. The main problem you might face after you quit is cravings. The 12 Step programs may not be something you like but what they have is members who support you during those tough times of temptation. If you say you're strong enough to do it, more power to you!

Like TD said, keep us posted on your progress.

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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:42 pm 
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Congrats on your taper, and now on your dedication to come off of Sub!

You're right. Sub is a miracle when it comes to helping you clean up your life, get rid of cravings, and help you feel better. It's also a wonder with kids! I have a toddler myself. Getting off of Sub was no option until he started sleeping trough the night! Which didn't happen til' a year old, lol.

That's about the dosage I came off of. It wasn't too difficult whatsoever. You will have restless nights, and some lack of energy. As well as those amazing trips to the bathroom. But all in all, the symptoms are slim to none when you taper like that! Of course everyone's different. I've heard Clonodine helps tremendously for WD's!!! I wish I could've had it myself.

The one thing you may ask for is a muscle relaxant for nighttime. You're lucky your doctor is willing to help, and with kids I'd take him up on it. I took a medication called Flexeril and it is a non benzodiazepine medication. It also doesn't make you drowsy.

Either way, good luck! Keep us posted. NA isn't for everyone, and it's definitely possible to get by without it. Especially with one on one counseling and other forms of support.


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:57 pm 
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Thank you guys for the replies!

I realize the benefit of NA. I can't deny it has worked for so many people. But quite honestly, I don't want everyone in my small to know my person struggles. I just don't. As much as I don't agree with it, drug addicts are harshly judged. No one would ever assume my struggles. I'm the "perfect" mom. Haha! No, but really, I have the great husband, two kids, white Pickett fence. I do a lot of work with my kids school, I'm trying to get them involved in a lot of extra curricular things. I don't trust the Anonymity of NA, not in this town, where everyone knows everyone. I have an incredibly supportive husband who would stand by me through anything. I've tested his loyalty. I owe a lot to him. And I have a great family who knows now. I feel supported as it is. I plan on taking LDN once I'm totally weaned off to act as a safety net for a while. I also encouraged my husband to perform random drug tests to keep me accountable.

Mamatomonkey, I totally hear ya! Neither of my kids were even close to sleeping through the night until like 13 months. I still can't believe when I hear people say their 6 week old sleeps 12 hours straight! Lucky!!!

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 7:19 pm 
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Hey, you're preaching to the choir, love! I'm from a very small town & I know there's just no secrets. One person sees you and the next day everyone in town knows!!

Nobody knew I was an addict, either. They still don't. My husband knows & my sister knows, and one of my best friends. That's it. I don't look like a junkie, and I always tried hard never to act like one. You're right. Addicts are VERY harshly judged! People do stupid things & unfortunately, one time can be the start of a scary road.

The town I'm from is full of rich snobby people who do prescription drugs & nobody cares! But the difference is, they either can continue, or have no remorse. Then one day they will be like us, seeking help in the shadows so nobody knows.

Anyway, that's so great your husband is so supportive! It definitely helps. My husband is also a trooper and completely understands the difficulty and consumption that is addiction.

So do you have a "jump day" yet?


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 7:25 pm 
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No, I don't have a jump date. From the beginning I had this very ridig taper schedule that I planned on sticking it, but I realized quite quickly that I needed to chuck it. I've simply followed my instincts and let it happen naturally. It totally took the pressure off and my tapering actually went quicker. My original jump date was nov. 1, but I'm think it'll happen in the next few days, if all goes well.

The key is keeping myself busy. If I'm busy, I don't even think about I feel. Idle hands are indeed the devils playground! I'm expecting to feel crummy but it can't be any worse than just getting sick. We'll see!!

I'd like to keep in touch though :-)

_________________
Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:52 am 
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Definitely keep us posted! Staying busy is definitely key.


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 10:01 am 
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Uwillbloved wrote:
Thank you guys for the replies!

I realize the benefit of NA. I can't deny it has worked for so many people. But quite honestly, I don't want everyone in my small to know my person struggles. I just don't. As much as I don't agree with it, drug addicts are harshly judged. No one would ever assume my struggles. I'm the "perfect" mom. Haha! No, but really, I have the great husband, two kids, white Pickett fence. I do a lot of work with my kids school, I'm trying to get them involved in a lot of extra curricular things. I don't trust the Anonymity of NA, not in this town, where everyone knows everyone. I have an incredibly supportive husband who would stand by me through anything. I've tested his loyalty. I owe a lot to him. And I have a great family who knows now. I feel supported as it is. I plan on taking LDN once I'm totally weaned off to act as a safety net for a while. I also encouraged my husband to perform random drug tests to keep me accountable.

Mamatomonkey, I totally hear ya! Neither of my kids were even close to sleeping through the night until like 13 months. I still can't believe when I hear people say their 6 week old sleeps 12 hours straight! Lucky!!!


I am with you on that. Its serves its purpose to many I know but not for me either. But to stay straight I will do about anything, so its not totally out. I just know what your saying and we are judged differently. Hell I know I am just with my family, support but I do feel judged.


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:05 am 
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Hi Uwillbeloved,

It sounds like you have really put in some great work and are totally ready for your jump. I agree that taking the pressure off yourself and allowing your body to dictate your taper is a really good idea. I never do well if I feel pressured into dropping on certain days. Accountability is great, but let me do it MY WAY! :D

I have a feeling you are going to be a success story.

As everyone else said, please keep us updated. I'll be watching your thread!

Good luck Love!

Q :D

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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:02 pm 
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I had gone almost 48 hours without sub when I started feeling really crummy. More mentally than anything. I tried clonodine but it made me debilitatingly tired. I'm taking care of two children so I just can't lay around and sleep. I wish. If I could just take off and spend a week in a hotel, I know I could do it. But I just can't cope with every day life stuff when I feel like crap. It really bummed me out. I felt like I was so close to being off, but I realize I still have a ways to go. And I also realized I probably went too fast. So I started back up on .25mg (or less) a day and I'll start skipping days before I jump.

Hopefully I'll have a better update next time =(

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:40 pm 
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Your update may not be super awesome, but it's very realistic. Yes, sometimes it's going to take a little longer to taper completely off. Stretch out taking the next .25 as far as you can. Maybe you can get another 48 hours between doses that way.

Don't feel down on yourself! This is hard work and you still have your eyes on the goal!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:51 am 
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I completely agree with Amy. Don't be so hard on yourself! It's great that you realized you weren't ready yet & went back up a little bit. It shows people that they don't have to be soldiers. This is HARD. It's very exhausting! And yes, with kids it makes it 10x harder.

Try skipping days and see how you do. You will do this! It just may take more time than you thought.


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:11 pm 
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So I ended up getting sick, with I guess just a cold but I felt like crap, so I basically decided to just jump and get it over with while I already don't feel good. I'm horrible with asking for help or asking my husband to take over with the kids after a long week of working, so I'm not gonna do this twice. I'm just on day 1 so I don't think I feel much worse than just being sick. I'm hoping to stay in bed all weekend. I will try to post. But I'm stopping. I'm just so over it. I'm tired of feeling crappy, irritable and impatience for part of the day and totally even keel the other (once a day dosing at a low dose plus a fast metabolism). My poor kids! I just want to power through and start feeling better!!

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:18 pm 
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We all have our breaking points! Jumping from .25 isn't going to be too bad. I was a little tired, nothing crazy. I was also on .25. I wasn't able to get Clonodine, so I just took B12. I also was able to get Flexeril and took 1 for 4 nights when RLS peaked. Other than that, I took Magnesium & Melatonin. Both helped.

It really wasn't bad. I was still able to be a mother and wife. Honestly, laying around is going to be the worst thing because you're just sitting and thinking about it. The days go slowly also.

I hope you'll keep us updated!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Almost off!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 7:14 pm 
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I know what you're saying, but I've been sicker than I've been in a looong time, before I decided to jump. I've wanted to curl up in bed with movies all week because I'm sick. I don't want to push myself to get up and take care of everyone when I'm sick. I think it's time I'm taken care for once! Haha. No, but really, I'm so far from a lazy person, I say I'll stay in bed but there's no way I could do that all weekend, but I definitely plan on laying low, letting my husband take the lead and rest/nap when I feel like I need to.

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:59 pm 
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It's been about 48 hours since my last tiny dose. Last night I definitely experienced some restless legs. I took a clonodine in the middle of the night and it knocked me out pretty good. Woke up feeling better this morning. I think my sickness is going away so I feel better in that respect. I'm low on energy and taking it easy, watching movies, but I don't feel "sick", no nausea, so loose stools, none of that. The most annoying thing is the cold chills, the goose bumpy skin. That drives me bananas. I don't have anxiety really either, which I worried about. I'm hoping that my low dose will make it so the symptoms don't get any worse. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. I handed over my sub to my husband.

I'll continue to update!!

_________________
Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 11:27 pm 
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Keep hanging in there Uwillbloved, you seem to have a great attitude about your detox and you seem very determined!! Try not to feel bad about letting your husband take care of things for a few days, it's his job to help take care of you while you're sick.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:07 am 
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Congrats on 3 days soon!(I'm not sure the exact hour of your last dosage, but it's 2am, so I'll stick with it lol)

Feeling unmotivated and chilly/goosebumpy is completely normal. It actually sounds like you have very mild WDs! Hopefully they stay that way! It's wonderful that Clonodine worked so well for you. I wasn't lucky enough to be prescribed it for my WDs, but I've heard it has helped people tremendously! Not being able to sleep at night is the worst symptom, in my opinion. It leads to laziness all day and watching the clock, and obviously being exhausted. No good! So that's great that you were able to find something to help you sleep. (:

Hang in there. .25 is so little, and it's most likely completely out of your system by now. Days 3-4 were the worst for me, and seem to be for most people coming off of that dosage. It's only going to go uphill from there! The restlessness at night only lasts a few days as well. It may be a blessing in disguise that you got sick at the same time! And who knows, maybe half of your symptoms are due to that. It's possible you won't have a hard time at all.

Keep on milkin' the hubby love! He's your partner, and should definitely be babying you while you're sick. (: Keep us updated! We're rootin' for ya.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:14 am 
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Oh, one thing that really helped me to get energy when I couldn't even think of coffee due to the restlessness, was B12 vitamins! I also started the Paleo Lifestyle, and I know that everywhere I read says eating healthily; leafy greens, protein, and BANANAS is key! If you can take B12 & eat as healthily as possible(I know you mentioned you already do), that should help. The potassium in bananas is supposed to help WD symptoms. Magnesium also helps you clean your system out, and helps with restlessness. (: just some tips if you needed any!


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