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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:16 am 
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Quick update.

First and foremost, this time change blows. My kids have been up since 4am! Good (bad?) news is is that I was already wide awake drinking coffee cause I've been up since 2am. Tossed and turned since 1:30am but I went to sleep at 8pm last night and slept straight until 1:30am, so I still consider that great sleep (without any sleep meds whatsoever) for being so early in my detox.

Secondly, i feel better. I'm sure I'll be tired today but mentally I feel good. My body doesn't hurt, I've never dealt with any stomach issues, I think it'll be ok.

Music has been my savior. It can lift me up so easily. My kids, too, I'm feeling genuinely joyful when I watch them play and laugh. My husband, I don't even know how to put it in words, he's amazing. He's just got my back, plain and simple. He doesn't judge me or make me feel bad. He's been kind and patient, even though he only found out mere months ago that I struggled with this. He makes me laugh. Last night, after thanking him for everything, he gave me a hug and said "just remember, the tables may be turned someday. I could end up addicted to crack and hookers and you'll have to support me". He was kidding, obviously.

I think stopping while sick was a good move, because as my "sickness" faded, I felt better, even if I was dealing with wd symptoms, I felt better.

Ok, that wasn't a very quick update huh?

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:33 am 
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Beautiful post! I hope everyone reads it, especially those that may be struggling right now a bit. I'm so happy for you and things are beginning to improve greatly. The forum needs these kind of POSITIVE posts!

Time Change = Uggghhhh! I know what you mean. Gets completely dark here at 5:30 pm. Close the curtains and blinds for the night. As about 7 pm rolls around I feel like it's time for bed. I have to make myself stay up and try to get this change in my mind which usually takes 3-4 days.

But, if that's all I have to complain about it's all good!

Great job and you ARE loved! :D

Karen xoxo


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:16 am 
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I love hearing about others' good relationships. It's so important to have a camaraderie and sturdy support from your partner, especially during this time when we're all so fragile. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling good and looking at the bright side of things, despite minor setbacks like time change and waking up early. This ability to focus on the good around you will get you so far..

Keep listening to your music, I personally don't know what I would have done without it (for real!) Have a good day :)


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:54 am 
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Thank you both! You were both people who inspired me! Through reading your threads, to make the jump. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know...

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 12:55 pm 
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OMGosh, is that ever funny what your husband said. Hilarious!! He sounds like a great guy.

I'm glad you're feeling better. That's good to hear. I wish your sleep was better, but that'll come with time. Sleep seems to be one of the last things to return to normal for a lot of us.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 2:07 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
OMGosh, is that ever funny what your husband said. Hilarious!! He sounds like a great guy.

I'm glad you're feeling better. That's good to hear. I wish your sleep was better, but that'll come with time. Sleep seems to be one of the last things to return to normal for a lot of us.



Haha, oh ya, he's a real funny one ;-)

Thanks for your responses too Romeo. I've always loved reading all your responses. You're such a huge help to people, me included.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:36 pm 
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I know I'm posting a lot, so you'll have to forgive me. I just feel compelled to make notes of my progress in case people read upon this later on...

I'm finishing up day 4 and I cannot believe how good I feel. It's like, I don't know, my head is clear or something. My energy is drastically improving. I even scrubbed the hard wood floors today, like old school style, a bucket of soapy water and a sponge. My poor son is super sick with a high fever so I'm tending to him a lot.

I don't know if it did have anything to do with it but I was taking a small dose of clonodine during the day and I didn't today, so maybe the clonodine was making me feel worse? I mean, it definitely helped with those annoying chills, but I think it made my body feel super weighted down. Today that feeling is gone.

It's not like I'm naive and think I'm totally out of the clear but I truly believe I'm on an upswing and that life will get better. If you're scared of the jump, don't be!! Who knows, if I wasn't sick with a bad cold, I may have not even felt bad those first few days! I feel blessed beyond words. I don't even THINK of the pills anymore! It's like I'm free.

A new tattoo idea:
One of my favorite songs ever is lynyrd skynyrd Simple Man and whenever I hear it, these lines always stick out: take your time, don't live too fast, troubles will come, and they will pass.

I've thought about getting that on my arm.

Or of course, I've always loved the line from Tom Petty's Learning to Fly: learning to fly, but I ain't got wings, coming down is the hardest thing. .... No kidding eh??

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:52 pm 
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The lyrics from both those songs are super!! Those are two of my favorite musicians, as well. I remember back when I was 13 or so, I heard Refugee for the first time (one of the first rock songs I had ever listened to) and I knew right away Rock was for me.

I'm glad you're feeling so much better. It's so nice to feel good again, isn't it?

At the risk of pissing you off, we've had many people on here who said, "I don't even think of pills anymore", but sooner or later they do. I know it happened to me. I'd just hate to see some cravings pop up down the road and smack you in the face like they did me. Thinking you're in the clear, then having cravings hit is a bear to deal with. BTW, the bear ate my ass about 4 or 5 times and it hurts like a MF'er!!!

Also, good job on cleaning the floors, do you think you can come over and teach my wife how to do it? She doesn't even know how to operate a mop!! (Oh Gosh I hope she doesn't read this!!) :)

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:34 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
The lyrics from both those songs are super!! Those are two of my favorite musicians, as well. I remember back when I was 13 or so, I heard Refugee for the first time (one of the first rock songs I had ever listened to) and I knew right away Rock was for me.

I'm glad you're feeling so much better. It's so nice to feel good again, isn't it?

At the risk of pissing you off, we've had many people on here who said, "I don't even think of pills anymore", but sooner or later they do. I know it happened to me. I'd just hate to see some cravings pop up down the road and smack you in the face like they did me. Thinking you're in the clear, then having cravings hit is a bear to deal with. BTW, the bear ate my ass about 4 or 5 times and it hurts like a MF'er!!!

Also, good job on cleaning the floors, do you think you can come over and teach my wife how to do it? She doesn't even know how to operate a mop!! (Oh Gosh I hope she doesn't read this!!) :)



Haha! Some women are cleaners, others not so much! I'm probably slightly OCD, so cleaning is über important to me.

And don't even trip, I totally know that pills are super easily accessible and the temptation will always be there. I guess I more meant I wasn't thinking about the sub. Regular opiates will always be my weakness and I know it'll be a lifelong battle. Not all day everyday, white knuckling it through my cravings but I know times will come when the craving will be strong and I'll have a decision to make. I have no idea if I'll ever relapse, I sure fucking hope not, but I can't say that. I don't think anyone can. I just have to fill my life with positivity, reduce the stressors that made me use in the first place, and appreciate the natural high that just comes from freedom. I absolutely dread the day when I'd actually need narcotic medication. I don't ever want to take one again because I know it would never be enough. It's never, ever enough.

And yes, Rock is marvelous. I like everything really. Suicidal tendoncies, CCR, Tom Petty, Elton John, Foo Fighters, even Zac Brown ;-) anything with a lyric that gives me goosebumps. The good kind. Not the stupid fucking withdrawal goosebumpy skin. Blech.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:02 am 
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Romeo wrote:
The lyrics from both those songs are super!! Those are two of my favorite musicians, as well. I remember back when I was 13 or so, I heard Refugee for the first time (one of the first rock songs I had ever listened to) and I knew right away Rock was for me.

I'm glad you're feeling so much better. It's so nice to feel good again, isn't it?

At the risk of pissing you off, we've had many people on here who said, "I don't even think of pills anymore", but sooner or later they do. I know it happened to me. I'd just hate to see some cravings pop up down the road and smack you in the face like they did me. Thinking you're in the clear, then having cravings hit is a bear to deal with. BTW, the bear ate my ass about 4 or 5 times and it hurts like a MF'er!!!

Also, good job on cleaning the floors, do you think you can come over and teach my wife how to do it? She doesn't even know how to operate a mop!! (Oh Gosh I hope she doesn't read this!!) :)



So, Romeo, your wife is a stay at home mom? She must not work full-time like you do if she has plenty of time to mop. ;)

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:26 am 
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Way to go!!!! Its definitely possible that your WDs will be over quickly! You weren't on much at all!

Music is absolutely mind blowing when you're off of drugs. I've always been big into music. My only tattoo is a treble clef. Music goosebumps are one of the keys to WD success!!

Ahhhh, my kinda girl. I've been diagnosed with OCD. Though I rarely get on my hands and knees and mop since my son! You deserve an award!!

Always always keep us updated. Even if you have a bad day.

As Romeo said, cravings are likely to arise. I was off of opiates for 30 months and Sub for almost 4 when I relapsed. But, I'm near a month clean off of Sub again! I'm very determined, as I'm sure you are. Its just important to have a game plan when those little devils pop up in your head!

Great job again (: I hope you sleep well tonight!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 9:01 am 
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mamatomonkey wrote:
Way to go!!!! Its definitely possible that your WDs will be over quickly! You weren't on much at all!

Music is absolutely mind blowing when you're off of drugs. I've always been big into music. My only tattoo is a treble clef. Music goosebumps are one of the keys to WD success!!

Ahhhh, my kinda girl. I've been diagnosed with OCD. Though I rarely get on my hands and knees and mop since my son! You deserve an award!!

Always always keep us updated. Even if you have a bad day.

As Romeo said, cravings are likely to arise. I was off of opiates for 30 months and Sub for almost 4 when I relapsed. But, I'm near a month clean off of Sub again! I'm very determined, as I'm sure you are. Its just important to have a game plan when those little devils pop up in your head!

Great job again (: I hope you sleep well tonight!


I did, I slept a full 8 hours!!!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:21 am 
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Oh, we have some more OCD'ers, eh? Welcome to the club!! There are a few of us regular members who ride the OCD train, too.

About an hour or so after I posted my speil about cravings, it dawned on me that you may have been talking about not wanting any pills in that moment or that you were talking about not even wanting Suboxone. Sorry I went a bit overboard, I'm going to blame it on the OCD. :wink:

I like your second paragraph where you mention you're aware of the temptation pills have for you, you know you have a weakness and that you're aware you may also face cravings. Being aware of these things and being honest about it is healthy, IMO. That's also wise to fill your life with positivity, reduce your stressors and appreciate the freedom you have.

If you ever do need narcotic medication in the future, give the bottle to your husband and let him dole them out. I broke my hand a few months back, had to have surgery and surgical pins in my hand to straighten the bone. I made it through that entire episode and only took 1 Lortab (in the hospital, after surgery, they hit me with a couple of injections of Morphine, but I was fine as long as I'm not administering the "goods" to myself). I gave my wife the bottle of Lortabs and used Advil for the pain. Advil worked amazingly well. Flushed the rest of Lortab on the 3rd or 4th day.

OK, I'll try not to hold the fact that you like Zac Brown against you, no promises, though. :)

Amy, my wife does work full time, too. But she has plenty of time to clean the floors.....at least in my mind she does. LOL

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:39 am 
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Romeo wrote:
Oh, we have some more OCD'ers, eh? Welcome to the club!! There are a few of us regular members who ride the OCD train, too.

About an hour or so after I posted my speil about cravings, it dawned on me that you may have been talking about not wanting any pills in that moment or that you were talking about not even wanting Suboxone. Sorry I went a bit overboard, I'm going to blame it on the OCD. :wink:

I like your second paragraph where you mention you're aware of the temptation pills have for you, you know you have a weakness and that you're aware you may also face cravings. Being aware of these things and being honest about it is healthy, IMO. That's also wise to fill your life with positivity, reduce your stressors and appreciate the freedom you have.

If you ever do need narcotic medication in the future, give the bottle to your husband and let him dole them out. I broke my hand a few months back, had to have surgery and surgical pins in my hand to straighten the bone. I made it through that entire episode and only took 1 Lortab (in the hospital, after surgery, they hit me with a couple of injections of Morphine, but I was fine as long as I'm not administering the "goods" to myself). I gave my wife the bottle of Lortabs and used Advil for the pain. Advil worked amazingly well. Flushed the rest of Lortab on the 3rd or 4th day.

OK, I'll try not to hold the fact that you like Zac Brown against you, no promises, though. :)

Amy, my wife does work full time, too. But she has plenty of time to clean the floors.....at least in my mind she does. LOL



You're killing me smalls! No Zac Brown? I'm also a die hard parrot head so maybe that's where my attraction comes from. Jimmy Buffett's music, more than anything else, can put a smile on my face and bring me back to my most fondest, carefree memories. Ahh, I love him. Ok, that's all on JB.

I have a job, albeit part time, two kids and a husband who works out of town during the week and I still clean! If its important to you, you make the time, if it's not you don't! And either way is fine. I have a friend who doesn't work and hates cleaning, so she doesn't do it. She has a housekeeper come TWICE a week!! Lucky!!

Ya, I won't even think about a time coming where I need meds. I realize that if you aren't abusing opiates, Advil does help! Last feb. I underwent, er, cosmetic surgery and I freaked out when my doctor prescribed 12 Vicodin. I was literally in a panick because there was no way that would help me! Luckily (that's probably not the right word) I scored 20 oxycodone. I'd ask my husband to give me a Vicodin every 6 hours and little did he know I was popping the oxys like tic tacs. I hate thinking about being such a liar.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:27 pm 
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Went to my doctors office today for my weekly counseling appointment but ended up talking to the doctor. I asked about LDN to act as a safety net for a few months and he totally agreed but reminded me I needn't have any opiates in my system, so we decided to do a drug screen and I was negative for EVERYTHING! Which means the sub is out of my system already! I'll start up on the new med in the next few days!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:41 pm 
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Low Dose Naltrexone isn't a bad idea to help bolster recovery. I think the thing you'd have to be most careful of is if you ever did decide to use, the Naltrexone will block the opiate, when that happens, depending on how stubborn you are you may try upping your opiate to breakthrough the Naltrexone. From my understanding, that = OD.

OK, Jimmy Buffet is cool. Surprisingly, you have redeemed yourself after that horrible Zac Brown gaffe you made. (you're lucky I'm so forgiving!!) :lol:

I pretty much like anything Rock. Zeppelin is one of my favorite old school bands, along with AC/DC, Black Sabbath, The Stones and whatnot. Guns N Roses, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam.....they're how I roll if we're talking about more "recent" bands.

BTW, you mention how you hate thinking of what a liar you were. You're not alone. I'm 99.99999% sure everyone on this forum lied their asses off while in active addiction, I know I sure as hell did. As I became more aware of the fact that addiction is indeed a brain disorder, I was able to accept some of the stupid shit I did while in active addiction.

Oh Yeah!!! Congratulations on being clean of everything.....now let's keep it that way!! :)

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 4:30 pm 
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Are there any side effects of that medication? Just wondering. I'm always so skeptical and scared now! My doctor had told me that there were non side effects or WD from Sub. Hah!! Either way, that's great! That'll really help you if you do have some sort of craving!

By the way, I LOVE Alice in Chains & Pearl Jam. The Beatles, Guns n Roses, Journey, The Cure...ahhh real music. :)

Congrats on 5 days and everything being out if your system!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 4:41 pm 
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I'm envious. Good job! Reading the post where you said "my mind feels clear" inspired me. It's that feeling like I look forward to most of all. I experienced it once when I quit a year ago, I think I had made it 20 days and was starting to feel different. This was when I realized this is how "normal" people feel. I aspire to be that person again someday soon.

Unfortunately it didn't last much longer because I relapsed. Thanks for the inspiring thread!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 6:10 pm 
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hey all the power to ya, it takes a special person to go thru this get help, and power thru it and get off. No one will ever know unless they have really been in your shoes, but It shows the will power of the mind if you set it that way. congrats on your success and I plan to do it just like you.....hero shall we say :mrgreen: DB


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:09 pm 
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I took Naltrexone for a few days after I had been off Suboxone for over a year. I experienced some agitation while on it, that's about it.

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