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 Post subject: Hi all!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 10:42 pm 
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One Month or More
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Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:54 pm
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Hey guys. I'm some what new here. I've made a couple posts but I realized I never introduced myself!

My name's Kevin, and here's my story...

I've messed around with painkillers of all types for about 5 years. I was only truly addicted for a little less than a year. I'm 24 now. When I was 19, I had went to the dentist for a root canel, and of course I was given 5/500mg hydrocodones. Man, I fell in love at first dose. I would only take them at night(just one!) and be in complete bliss for hours upon hours(around 5, lol). 5mg of hydrocodone had me FLOORED. I consider myself sensitive to medication. I'm a skinny guy with a hyper fast metabolism. I took them at night because I found that I had gotten the absolute best sleep of my life while on the vicodin. I mean, I've suffered from mild insomnia my whole life and this little pill had me drifting off into DEEP sleep without fail, every time. Well, I only had 30 of them, and they were gone in a little over a month. I took one every night. When I had no more, I was of course mad. Some psychological symptoms but that was it. No real withdrawal to speak of. Then again, it wasn't a whole lot in the grand scheme of things. I didn't take any kind of narcotic pain killer for months after that. I had no access to them. I didn't know anyone who was into opiates, nor did I have any legitimate pain conditions that would require them. My love was long gone. But it wasn't the end of the world.

Over the next 4 years, I ran into vicodin on a few occasions. I would end up taking between 10-20mg once every few months. I was in a band with a singer who was a nice guy and was always generous. If he had gotten a few vicodin from a friend, he'd meet me at practice with a little treat. 1 or 2 5mg vicodins. This was a rare occasion though. Still up to this point, I did not have a steady supply of opiates. Fast forward a few months...I had a friend whom I had met through my best friend. He had told me one day that he was high on "vikes" and I was like vicodin? He's like yea man, it's awesome. So of course I tell him that Vicodin was my "favorite high" but unfortunately I don't get it very often due to not having a connection for it. Well, he tells me that he usually does it a couple times a month, but whenever he would get it, if I had money, he would get me some as well. So, from that point on, my friend was getting me the blue 10mg hydrocodone pills. Still even up to this point, I wasn't addicted to them in any fashion. I was taking them maybe twice a month, usually once though. All the stars and planets would have to align in order for me to find them, seriously. Lol. Anyway...

Fast forward to last year around april.. I was in a new band(I play guitar) and discovered my other guitarist is into taking percocet. Keep in mind I have never tried Oxycodone/Percocet before. He was on his way to addiction for sure now that I think about it, since he was always getting them. I tried oxycodone for the first time. I loved it. It was everything hydrocodone was, but MORE. I was more energetic. I wasn't as drowsy, and I considered this a huge plus. I felt the heavy opiate buzz, the warmth, the tingles, the euphoria, but I had ENERGY! I started with 10mg percocets(to be precise they were the yellow endocets). My guitarist introduced me to the dealer himself. I WAS SET! I was delivering pizza for a pizzeria at the time so I was getting money in my pocket every night. I was getting percocet once a week or so. Once a week turned into twice a week. So on and so forth. Even through all this time, I was still getting VERY high from 10mg. Then I decided hey, I wonder if I'll get higher from 15mg!? And on that lonely road I started walking. I was still only taking the oxycodone at night, before bed. It was my "treat time". It was a time where I could fully enjoy the high of an opiate. I would take the pills, shut the lights off, and watch tv in bed for those 4 hours of euphoric bliss until I'd drift away into opiate-induced deep sleep. I first began noticing my tolerance rising. 15mg wasn't giving me the same high. I was taking 20mg to get the same experience. This lasted another month..

Fast forward to late june.. I had met a new friend. I had met him through my bandmates since he came out to our shows we played at local bars and small clubs. Well, I come to find out this friend has these pills called "Roxicodone". They were TINY. Blue and 30mg each. At first I thought, this is way too much for me. Then I thought to myself, hey, I could split it in half and get 2 highs out of ONE PILL! Little did I know, this friend was going to be the death of me. See, he had/has a legitimate prescription for the Roxicodones for various chronic pain issues. He's only 22 and has chron's disease, rheumotoid artheritis, the list goes on. He was in rough shape. He himself was addicted to painkillers. He was getting 360 of these pills a month, plus 90 OxyContin 80mg pills.This was the problem, he ALWAYS had them. He never ran out, so every time I called, he was there to "help" me. I was still working my delivery job so I was making about $70-100 dollars a night. Each 30mg pill was $20. It would last me two sessions. I'd take half one night, then half the next. Then I'd buy another one. And another one. And another one. Sooner or later 15mg didn't work, and I was taking a full one each time. 30mg. Still even up until now, I was only taking them once a day, at night. This lasted another month. One day, I got the crazy idea of taking half of one in the middle of the day at work. So I started doing that. This made work MUCH more enjoyable! The hours were flying by, and before I knew it, I was home and ready to take my night time dose. Now I was taking 45mg a day. I did take breaks for a day or two from time to time, but the flow of oxycodone kept on coming. Eventually I realized, those breaks weren't happening anymore. I was taking them every day. My 15mg day dose become 30mg, and my night dose turned into 45mg some nights. The high just wasn't cutting it for me anymore. I was addicted.

Months went on, and I was falling deeper into the trap that we know as opiate addiction. I was buying up to 5-6 30mg pills A DAY. I hid it from everyone. My parents. My girlfriend. Well, my girlfriend knew I'd occasionally get high on pills once in a while, and she didn't care about that. She was catching on though. Wondering where my money was going. Why I was never leaving the house to hang out. I finally admitted to her that I was addicting to opiates. Man, that was about the most rock bottom I've ever been in my life. We fought every day. I became a non compassionate person. All I cared about was my pills. I was selling my valuables left and right on days where I didn't quite make enough money, just so I could get my fix. Like I said, this went on for months..

I was truly addicted from June of 09, to April 2nd, 2010.

I got help. I had heard of Suboxone from various sources, and one day I stumbled upon the website for suboxone. I needed help. My life was falling apart. I was losing everything and everyone that I cared about. I made the appointment. I took my last oxy dose 24 hours before the suboxone appointment(120mg at once, yea...tolerance is an evil mistress). My first dose of suboxone was administered at 11:30am on april 2nd. I have been clean since then. Almost 3 weeks now. I have my life back. I have my loving girlfriend at my side whose been the most supportive person she can be. My family knew about my addiction and is so happy to see me recovering.

I have no cravings. I have no desire to be high. I also gave up alcohol and marijuana. Each and every day that passes I feel better and better, thanks to suboxone. I currently am on 16mg a day, and it's working wonderfully. I'm in no rush to be off this medication but I know some day the time will come, and I will go about it the smartest way possible, and my doc is there to guide me through it. I just can't believe the turn around I have made. It's truly like I hit a "rewind" button on my life, and I'm back to the point before I had ever taken hydrocodone from that dental visit when I was 19. I'm no longer a slave to a blue pill. I'm living life on life's terms now, and finding NATURAL ways of coping with the problems life throws at me, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life.

Suboxone saved my life.

I plan on being an active member on this forum. From what I've seen so far, the members here have the utmost love and care for others like them who are suffering from opiate addiction. I feel PROUD to belong to a community of people who have all accomplished what they've done. It feels great to "fit in". And while it may not be the best crowd to fit in to(no one wishes to be an addict), it still feels great that there are people out there, whom I don't even know or have met personally, who are looking out for me. Thank you all very much.


-Kev


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 Post subject: Welcome and WOW!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:00 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:59 pm
Posts: 162
Subox845,

Welcome to the forum... Your story gave me chills like you have no idea... your story is almost ditto to mine except mine happened over a much longer period of time...damn...almost exactly the same. I related to your story big time...I relate to all stories but this one just hit it on the nail! I just looked at my wife and said I can't be reading this.... Yes, those little blue pills were the death of me too....and death of a lot of people. I am so happy you found this forum and Suboxone has saved your life. It too has saved mine. I plan on being on Suboxone for a life time, as I know what relapse is all about and for me it was way worse the second time around. I am keeping myself in remission with Suboxone. Once again welcome to the forum and you are correct. This forum is over flowing with support. SuperBuper


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:43 am
Posts: 1019
Location: Buffalo New York
Hey man i read your story and i too first started with painkillers from the dentist when i got my wisdom teeth and from their on it was like u said your favorite high. i played my dentist pretty hard i got 5mgs at first but called the next day crying with my award winning emmie for stronger pill ended up getting 4510mg hydros with 3 refills. and once i ran out that was it from their on i only cared about painkillers then seriously hurt my knee and ended up getting perscribed 160mgs of oxy a day and that lasted for 4 years till i hit rock bottom an found out about suboxone like u did and from their on ive been clean for 3 years also quit booze and weed. going threw a rough time with tuesday coming up its all i hear about. any ways im really glad you found your way and this site rocks man. im also new hear and i cant tell you the warmth and support u get from members.

hey man hears a thread i started with my story and others also 3 or 4 mods posted as well which was cool if u can copy and paste your post for others to hear it more. hears a link.
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=1829 Its called what has suboxone done for your life and your story would be a huge plus if added.

either way welcome to the site and hope to see more post from you.

ONE THING I WANTED TO POINT OUT TO YOU MAN YOU SAID "SUBOXONE SAVED YOUR LIFE" yes it def has helped save you but at the end of the day YOU YOURSELF SAVED YOUR LIFE BY FINDING YOUR WAY TO RECOVERYs so give your self a lil credit cause like i said u did it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 8:49 am 
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Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Welcome Kevin! You write really well and reading your story was enjoyable for sure. You sound like a smart guy. I hope you stick around. This IS a great place in my opinion! Best forum out there for suboxone users. There are people here who can support and guide just about anyone through anything and the combined knowledge is extremely helpful. Take care and enjoy your new life to the fullest! We only get one.

Oh....and really, the time may never come for you to get off suboxone. It is getting more and more acceptable for people to stay on it long term.

Cherie


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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