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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:38 pm 
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So as the title mentions, I'm 17 days off... Stupidly the reason I was put on suboxone was because my body had become addicted to Immodium.. I see people recommending people take that crap when they are having WD's but don't do it. It's a slippery slope itself, I've seen news stories about how people are taking it in massive doses cause it breaks the brain blood barrier or something.

Anyhow, I've been on suboxone for maybe almost a year? I had previously been on it maybe 3 years before that? I had been clean for 3 years, I had a gastric bypass in 2005 and started taking lots of pain meds and became addicted to it, what didn't help was that I was living with my father at the time because he didn't want to be alone after my parents split up. He had been a pill addict for years and I didn't know about it until he noticed I was taking pain killers a lot and he'd ask me for some and I'd give them to him. Eventually he started enabling me and giving me the pills... So it was a horrible cycle. I hit rock bottom and my gf at the time had no idea things were so bad and got me into a suboxone treatment program the next day.

So, today.. I'm 17 days off of the beast, I have previously diagnosed bi-polar disorder/depression from both sides of my family, I have EXTREME anxiety issues without the withdrawals. Now that I'm experiencing PAWS my moods change constantly, I can start crying non-stop for no reason, I'm extremely unmotivated (I'm a huge gamer and I cannot bring myself to even start one).

I knew this was going to be a rough ride so I started dieting about 5 days into dropping off of it. I started an exercise regiment 4 days ago, basically just speed walking for 4ish miles a day and it made my leg muscles so sore that I could only do 2 miles the next day then after that I was basically paralyzed for a couple of days, I'm sore today but I'm gonna try and go out and do it.

I read somewhere that L-Tyrosine can help with mood and not sleeping and what not, does anyone have experience with it? I'm wondering if it's worth going and buying. Honestly my body doesn't feel crappy at all really, the "acute" symptoms were pretty relaxed "I jumped from I think it was 1mg?" I remember when I got off this stuff years back I didn't experience this crazy PAWS stuff and I was on it for a long time back then.

My mental state is sooo messed up, my anxiety is through the roof and my clonazepam is not helping, I'm having to take more of it to try and fight this but it's not working. The insomnia I'm experiencing is insane, I might get 1 hour of sleep a day at the most? Although last night I was able to get 3 hours then toss and turn for an hour before getting up at like 3am.

I really do feel that the exercise and sweating hard helps a lot physically and mentally though, I've just been too sore the last 2 days to do it. I find music much more enjoyable off of suboxone for some reason. Music has always been a passion of mine, I can play guitar, bass, drums etc. I do find that with all of this mental stuff going on that some songs can just make me tear up and get really sad even if it's not a sad song or anything. It's extremely confusing.

I just got engaged on the 1st of this month after 2 years with someone I love very much, but she has been very stressed out and full of anxiety because of this. We talked about it a good amount last night though and she feels a lot better, although she is going to her parents this weekend to see them. It's going to be hard being alone.

I guess I'm just looking for tips, inspiration, people to talk to? Thanks for reading -Casey


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:07 pm 
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Hi Casey, congrats on getting off the subs. I'm on day 6 with no subs now and I'm doing well.
Sorry your having such a hard time.
Can u see your doc and tell him the clonazapam isn't working and see if you can try something else?
My anxiety was a bit high today but got better as my day progressed. Actually Imodium has been a god send this first week off subs but I hear you that it's not good to keep taking it, so I'm done soon.
L tyrosine makes me a bit racey and added to my anxiety actually, but a lot of people swear by it.
How are U feeling today?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2016 5:11 pm 
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I have been tossing and turning every night, but im sober. fight through this you got it. if you need to talk pm me any time of day ! I will provide you with my cell if you need to talk to someone to stay sober


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:21 pm 
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Another one and done post..... at least we are trying to help people:)))


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:39 pm 
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Hey Qweets,

I know what you're going through. I was there too, pretty damn terrified in those first days and not knowing a thing.

I'd say first and foremost congratulations man. 17 days is not easy and you're on a great start to launching your sobriety and recovery.

I would schedule an appointment with a general physician. Doctors typically don't want to prescribe any psychiatric meds unless a patient has been clean about 90 days, but he may suggest Celexa, an anti-anxiety medicine. He may not.

The reason I say this is because you say you're bipolar. That's bad news for your relapse chances, and you'll want to get a hold on that quickly so a downward mood swing doesn't prompt you to take pills.

The other tiger in the jungle is your dad. Getting clean is going to be difficult if you live with a user who's also your relative. I suggest you take a moment and have a frank, civil conversation with him about your own intentions to get sober and see if you can do it together if you haven't done that already. It'd be powerful to do that together, you can keep each other in check.

You'll want to play video games eventually. Trust me. Video games are used by soldiers with PTSD and I used it too. It's a great way to occupy the mind from the withdrawals but doesn't make you tired.

Other than that. Stay healthy. Stay hydrated. Keep walking. Keep being proud of every day you have clean. That's what helped me get through. You can do it man, I've been there too!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 6:12 pm 
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I don't want to be nitpicky with you Jabberwocky but language is important, especially to addicts who know what it means to be slighted, put down, and denigrated by society.

Qweets was not 17 days into sobriety and recovery. He was 17 days into detoxing from buprenorphine. He said he was on suboxone for a year, so as long as he wasn't abusing the suboxone, his recovery was a year and 17 days. When we choose to give up on active addiction and get off the crazy train of obsession, we are starting our recovery.

The implication that those of us who are on buprenorphine are not "clean" is also not acceptable on this forum. It says, "You people on suboxone are dirty."

I'm sure you meant no harm, but, like I said, we are very careful about the language we use on this forum. Thank you for your understanding and compliance.

Amy

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