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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:45 pm 
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Oh my gosh, where did you FIND this!? I NEED this video in my life!

You're kinda....offbeat.
Are you kidding me? I'm totally ON beat. Check it out:
Stop please, stop! It's embarrassing.

FLEA ATTACK! This should make sweet16 laugh, or smile :D well done tiny dancer. Thank you!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:14 am 
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Ha ha! I am going to change my avatar now. I have been accused of being the crazy cat lady for years. I even volunteer at my local Pet store in their kitty rescue room almost 7 days a week! I love my cats so much. I mean they are my BEST FRIENDS! Thank you for the video. That was great!
Wow Tiny~ That is some crazy story. How long have you been off dope? How long were you on sub? Where are you in your recovery? I am so curious. I read some of your past threads and from what I can read, you are off all meds and trying to conceive? I so appreciate you being such a caring and supportive person. What a HUGE deal this is for me. I need all the support I can get as you already know. I would love to know more about your recovery. If you have a intro here please let me know. Btw, I have used heroin via IV and I did not enjoy it. Scared me too much. I think because I used to smoke cigarrettes and weed, I must be hooked to the smoking part of using as well as the physical addiction. I have always smoked something. Man you have come a long way sister. What a blessing.
Jennicole~ Yes I do have some wonderful support here thank the universe. I mean you for instance, clean just 30+ days and already giving me support. I do not know what to say. You are an angel. And you are pregnant? Congrats. Wow this is some news. I am glad your family is supporting you. I remember when I first got pregnant, having a baby made me completely stable and I was clean for years and years. Nearly 20. Well off of hard drugs. I have always smoked weed and occasionally knocked back a few beers. Keep fighting my friend and THANK YOU DEARLY for the support. It means so very much right now.
So my new plan is this: My Mom is going to be visiting Wednesday from Alaska. Her husband and her travel in their RV during the winter Months. She is in Arizona now making her way here to see me and my kids. I do not see her very often and we are not very close. I am not going to burden her with my issues. We just barely made ammends recently (past year or so) I was raised by my Dad and my parents were step-brother and step-sister.( I know what a friggen strange deal but thats another story altogether). Anyway Long story short, I have never had a relationship w/ my Mom. ( nothing to do with drugs) I recently decided to start one and this is why I am not going to tell her. I must wait till she leaves to finally detox. I told my BFF & ex Husband about my relapse, both VERY supportive, once the initial shock was over. My BFF is a hypnotherapist and an herbalist. We are going to try to detox me with herbal concoctions and hypnosis. She is certain she can do this and has several herbal recipes to try. I may or may not go on Suboxone. I know you are all cringing right now, but this is my choice. If my cravings are too intense, I will DEFINATELY go on maintance without hesitation. I AM going to seek an addiction specialest first thing Monday morning. I will hopefully get some advise and even meds to help me detox. In all honesty craving was never why I used or even relapsed. I relapsed bc I was just tired of being tired and I was dragging ass for 3 weeks. I knew doing dope would wake me up and I thought I could control my use. I found out otherwise. I am not saying I will not crave especially since I have been using for so long now and my tollerance is so high. I just know I DO NOT ever want to feel the way I felt yesterday. What a nightmare. I am sure I will need suboxone, so please dont fret guys. I know you're all going to support me no matter what my method is. I WANT and NEED and I MUST stop using. And I am. I AM going to get mysef out of this mess. NO MATTER WHAT! Meanwhile, no more BS from me. I am ONLY going to use when I absolutely need to. This means not uness I am in active WD. I said it before and I kept messing around with pain pills to get around the WD. None of that this time. I sound like a train wreck. I know it. I am negotiating with Chaos trying to get a bit of satisfaction. I hear ya Tiny..... I hear ya sister. I am in a spot right now. My Mom coming is really putting the brakes on my detox. There is a reason for everything and I am going to make the very best of it and do my DAMNEDEST to use as sparringly as possible. As lame as that sounds. If there is a way I can get a good 24 -48 hrs away from the family thing I will induce and forget the herbal and hypnosis method. I mean I would rather be able to CT but it will take a good 10 days, so I have to have plan B & C.
I will keep everyone up to date on my progress. I am still scared shitless and for good reason. I have learned a HUGE lesson. I will be much much more humble that is for sure.... Good night my friends. And thank you so very much for the support!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:55 am 
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Sweet, what I'm about to say may piss you off, but I'm just keeping it real, Bud. You've been trying to quit H for months now and you just keep coming up with excuses when it comes time to stop. There is NO excuse to continue smoking H, Kimberly. You may think your excuses are valid, but if you could see them through our eyes, I'm pretty sure you'd realize that they're not.

I'm sorry to be so blunt. You know I'm not saying any of this out of malice, I'm only saying all of this because I do care.

I hope you're able to get in with a good addiction counselor and I hope they're able to help you get where you need to be.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:55 pm 
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Romeo, you know I never get upset by anything you say. I KNOW you want ONLY THE BEST for me. I KNOW you are on the outside looking in at this friggen mess of a woman. I APPRECIATE everything you say and you are right. I will likely be back on Suboxone. I am not even mad about it anymore. I DID this to MYSELF. I am a smart woman. I have already come so far in life this is just one LAST BIG hurdle. I WILL conquer this. I AM AND I WILL! I do need an addiction counselor. A damn good one. I have insurance and plan to use it. Theres no way around this. I KNOW. I have come to terms with the Suboxone route. I am ready. It will likely take a lot more than 6mg to induce and that is fine. I am going to let my BFF help me get thru the first 24 hrs of WD with her hypnosis and herbs ect. Then just get on SUb. I can decide to taper if I feel strong enough, if not, It will do maintance again. I am NOT saying I think long term sub use is the way to go, because I would be lying. I hate the side effects, the depression, the lethargy, the lack of motivation, the fact that I HAVE to depend on a friggen drug like Sub. I HATE sub but it is the lesser of 2 evils and I will put myself thru it again. I am accepting that I am addicted to Heroin again. I have relapsed big time. I am going to pick myself up and dust myself off and be OK. I have done it before and I will do it again. I will change my plan of action and go to meetings, get support, have counseling ect. I HAVE TO! I know. THANK YOU ROMEO for keeping it real and not sugar coating it. (though I know you are being easy on me. I know if you said what you really want to say, I would be in tears...AND YOU ARE RIGHT!) I need to get the fu#k off my BS train and start being real. STOP negotiating with CHAOS for a bit of FALSE satisfaction....
I need to get myself in the shower and get a grip today. im lost in space and to be honest I just want to go back to bed and feel sorry for myself. I know I do not want to further self destruct..... SOmetimes sleeping is the only way to avoid it.
Thanks Ro. You are my friend & I appreciate you.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:26 pm 
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Sweet,

It's really hard to watch you say that you'll induce later. Later means nothing coming from an addict. "Next week" turns into years in the blink of an eye. I just hope you make a real change soon. My heart goes out to you. GOOD LUCK, you can do this.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:14 pm 
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Tiny~ I CAN do this and I AM. When I stop and really think about this, when I tried to induce a few days ago. 6mg got me well enough to drive 1 hour to the dope spot and score. If I had just induced on a bigger dose I would likely be on my way right now. I was seriously kidding myself to think 1 or 2 mg. would get me thru. I was utterly shocked that 6mg hardly did anything for my withdrawl. I remember the first time I induced, I had to take something 3, 8mg tabs to feel ok. And dose every 4 hours for the first few days. So I will stop having expectations of myself and let a suboxone doctor induce me properly. Later yes. There is just no way around it. I guess ther IS a way, but I am not going to try to juggle indiction and my Mom. SHe wants to see her Grandchildren and I have nobody else to depend on. It has always been ME and ONLY ME. My previous Doctor said it and I di agree. I take on too many comitments and allow ppl to take more than I have to give and to keep up I choose to use instead of tell the ppl who need, want, take, and never give back to go take a hike. I abuse ME instead of disappoint them. I guess this is the role of a Mother, a wife, a woman. A warrior I feel like, one that has finally been defeated. ( I know boo me.. Lol... Feeling sorry for myself today :? ) Thank you Tiny. I know you mean well and I know you have been RIGHT exactly where I am at and you see my cop out. I am going to walk the beach. Maybe a miricle will happen and I will get a message from the Universe...I usually do on these walks.....
YOU my dear, have a great day.....


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 Post subject: Welcome Back
PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:24 pm 
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Hey Sweet, so good to see you back with us again. Amazing how so much damage can be done in such a short time away from recovery.

Have you gone back and read some of your old messages to see how well you were doing back then? I am just very worried that while you're waiting to induce again on Sub, or check into a rehab, you just might not make it. You know as well as we do how much of a chance you take every time you do H. I O-D'd once and was so grateful to be alive the next day. That lasted maybe three hours and I had more H in me. See what I mean?

Sounds like you have a plan but please make it quick. Your kitties need you! Get induced and then you can think with a clear head like before. I just want the old Sweet16 back. Stay alive Kim.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:56 pm 
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Kim, believe it or not, I did say what I wanted to say and I thought I was being pretty harsh. I'm glad you didn't get upset by what I said, but I'm also glad you heard me.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:14 pm 
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Oh Sweet, you poor thing! I'm just reading your thread now and I'm sorry you've had such a terrible time getting off the crazy heroin train! It was heartbreaking to read about your failed attempt at sub induction and that you relapsed on H right away.

So, what will you do from here? Can you give us a step by step plan of action for this week. Will you have an appointment with a sub doctor by the end of the day Monday? Will you have your BFF ready to help you put your plan into action? Will you be able to tell us that you've checked your health insurance to find a sub doctor and an addiction counselor?

I know that you don't like sub and there are side effects that bother you. But you do need some stability in your life and sub will help with that. You've got so much going for you! I wish you the best in your struggle! Keep us in the know.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 12:17 am 
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Hey Guys,
HI Rule~ AINT THAT THE TRUTH! The damage done in a short amount of time. A GREAT lesson for me. I have not re-read any of my threads past. Though I will and it may be a good idea to help me to remember, it wasn't all that bad. Certainly more desirable than what I have going on now. I understand your concearn about OD'ing. It may not mean any real thing to read, but though I am using today, I have been trying to taper. It has not gone as well as expected, though I am using a fraction of what I was last week and even 2 weeks ago. Can one OD smoking it? Am I stupid to believe I am safe from od?
Rome~ I guess I feel so bad that I think bneing punished is something I deserve from others. I know this is not your goal. You have a loving kindness about you that is just not comon. It is much appreciated and cherished. Thank you for not scolding me severely. Lol. I do a good enough job at that already.
Amy, I hate hearing that my failed attempt is causing others to feel sorry for me. It is not my intentions. I guess by posting I really hope mostly for advise and experiences of others as to not feel like I am the ONLY one that has gone thru this. No, I am sorry I can not give you a detailed play by play at this point. I will wake up and find a doctor tomorrow for SURE. Maybe even pick a date. My BFF & Ex both agree it is best that I wait till my Mom leaves before I induce. There is no need to alarm her. We are just not that close & never have been. I was raised by my Father. I am going to allow her to see a well Daughter and happy grandchildren. I realise this is playing russian roulette with my life being a heroin addict. It is a choice I have slept on, and I made my decision. For what it is worth (and I know not much coming from addict person) I am using the smallest amount possible to keep myself out of WD till I can induce. It is my strongest desire to get OFF heroin.
I know all the alarms are going off and red flags dropping but it is what it is. I more than appreciate all of your help and concearn. It means so much. I am going to bed tonight withOUT using...Thats the best I can do for now....Blessings to all.....K


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:41 pm 
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Smoking heroin is the safest way to use it, as far as overdose is concerned. Unless you're combining substances like alcohol, benzos or other opiates. Obviously, it's always good to keep a healthy level of caution no matter what though.

Hey, sweet, I didn't mean to make you feel any more worse than I know you already feel. I just wanted to stress how easy it is to say 'later.' I was also concerned that this half attempt (at using suboxone) was annoying enough to you that it could push off another induction. This happened to me so I was concerned about it happening to you. Anyway, don't even bother making promises about how much you'll use. It's so easy to break those promises and then feel guilty about it. Guilt turns into more using. It's ok, we all know you're using to stay well until you can actually induce. That's just how it goes. Just be careful and follow through with your next induction plan. I understand waiting until your mom leaves, I do. Just don't let days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.

Keep us posted and be safe!


Last edited by tinydancer on Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Smoking it
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:05 pm 
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Thanks TD for putting some clarity on that one. I never smoked it so I can't say one way or another. Back in the day we used to snort it and then later came the needles. Big difference. Lucky for me I didn't do it very long because it scared the crap out of me. One time I bought a large amount and it lasted four days. On day five I felt like I was going to climb up the wall if I didn't get any. That was all mental but it was enough to scare me. Way too easy to get hooked on.

Sorry for getting off topic there. You do what you gotta do Sweets and we'll hope to see you keep posting your progress.

Hey, at least you know you have some cyber people who care about you. Kind of weird, you know?

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 4:17 pm 
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Okay Sweet, where is our daily check in? I just want to be sure you are okay today. :)

You said your Mom is coming on Wednesday? How long is she staying? That is going to be a tough visit for you I'm sure. Just try to keep your use in check and enjoy your time. You know, it would be so great if you could be completely honest with your BFF about your use. I know it is so hard not to hide things when you are using, especially when you know people want you to get sober. But it really helps me if I know that someone is going to be asking me every day how I did that day. It kind of makes me think twice about over using, you know what I mean? Just go into it knowing that no matter what you do that day you are going to tell someone about it...whoever your person is. Even if it is us here. That little bit of accountability really helps me anyway.

Alright, be safe girl. And don't freak out too much about getting your house in order. I know what that is like, you will run yourself ragged trying to make everything perfect. I'm sure your mom is going to be glad to re-connect with you and won't care a bit about your house. At least they are bringing their own accomodations, I'm assuming the RV is where they will be staying. I think you mentioned that anyway.

Be Sweet :)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:28 pm 
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Hi sweet,

How goes it today? You hanging in there?

not pregnant, no no not again! lol. just had my 2nd son 2months ago.
I can tell you have a very kind soul. You seem like a genuinely well rounded, good person. Good things will come your way in time. Just keep up the positivity. I'm glad that you are reaching out to your mom. Who knows, it may bring you two closer together. I'm hoping it will be a positive experience for you! Can't wait to hear. Keep your head up, and don't forget to smile here and there, too :D


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 Post subject: EXCITED!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:34 pm 
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Hi forum friends,
I am doing well today. I went to bed lastnight w/o using, I did wakeup at some point in the middle of the night sweatting and legs cramping so I used a bit to go back to sleep. WOke up this AM and used to ward off the sweats & to get going. I am doing really well today as far as not using "just because" or bc I am bored. I left the house and purposely stayed gone. After a few errands and once I got home, I got on the internet & found some doctors. I have 3, yes THREE!!! appointments with 3 different doctors. The first one being Wednesday at 10:30 am. TOTALLY thrilled. These are all Naturopath doctors. I called bout 4doctors, explained what was going on and what my goal is. After several calls, I picked the 3 that seemed to have the most experience. One in particular claimed to be very good at this type of issue. I am very excited to see what they have to say and how a Naturopath treats addiction and specifically, withdrawl, cravings and relapse. They do not think they use suboxone or methadone. I could be wrong. Either way, I am looking forward to a different approach. I know ya all think I shuld be getting right back on suboxone. I may or may not do that. I am anxious to learn how the naturopath doctors treat individuals such as myself
Hey Q~ I love the accountability thing and you are right. It does seem to help when theres someone asking how ya doing. Actually I have talked to my BFF and told her to the truth and nothing but. Funny coincidence is her mother is in town this month and actually staying with her, soooooo I cant really expect her to be here daily woth me. Her Mother is elderly and also a widow, so they are doing the mother daughter thing. My ex husband is keeping a close eye on me. I appreciate the fact he is not hounding me but allowing me to fix this on my terms. As far as my Mom, well I am not at all worried about the condition of my place BC I am an absolute germaphobe and my place is always spotless and in perfect order. I guess it is one of the things being on H allows me to accomplish. EVERYTHING on the list. None the less, I have never been good enough in her eyes. She will not even sit on my toilet seat would you believe? She will treat my toilet as though it were a public restroom. We just are not your normal Mom/Daughter team. Lol. I was closer to my Dad...They were step brother/sister and utterly DESPISED eachother and whenever I was with the other they would make CERTAIN I KNEW what an Asshole or what a Bitch the other was. Needless to say my parents never won Parent of the Year Award lol...AND I could care less if she dont sit on my toilet seat.... lol less cleaning I gotta do. My Mom and her husband are traveling in their Motorhome. Since they both retired they spend the winters down in the "lower 48" (they reside in Alaska)
I appreciate you beong concearned for me. You are all just wonderful.
Tiny`~ Promises are hard to keep as a drug addict. My goal is to get off heroin. It is NOT at all easy and tapering is damn friggen hard. I am determined as HELL. I am a drug addict... Very contradictory combo absolutely! Guily is a feeling that has consumed me a lot thru out this entire thing. Mostly because of my children. So I keep it to a minimum BC I know is it destructive and I am a GOOD Mom no matter what. I have done shitty things, but as a human and having forgiving children I am blessed. Also I KNOW your aim is to not make me feel worse. I do not in fact. I admitre your ability to say what you mean w/o coming across as too harsh nor too mushy. EVERYTHING you write I take to heart 100%. I really feel like you understand what it is I am going thru. I feel MORE secure in my convictions here because YOU made it thru your addiction. I AM a very VERY strong woman and if you and others have gotten thru I KNOW without a doubt so can I. SO your truths are HUGE inspiration for me. THANK YOU!
Rule~ Shooting dope was something I did as a teen only it was crank back then. It scared the hell out of me then and I tried IV heroin. Luckily I did NOT enjoy it. I am anxiety ridden anyway so I could not enjoy the high BC I was too worried of OD'ing.
I have been trying to post this much of the day but I have been in and out of the house with all the things that fill up my life. Anyway on a GOOD note, I LOVE my job. I meet the most awesome ppl and they love my bodywork. I just got to work on a QB for a big time FB team.....
I hope everyone is doing good today. Thanks for all the support. I feel truly blessed I have my FAVORITE (& only) CyBER FAMILY to back me... :)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:09 pm 
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It's great to hear you so hopeful and being so proactive! I have no idea how effective naturopathic doctors will be at helping you with your addiction, but I hope their advice is helpful to you. Even if you end up needing a stronger treatment option like sub, it won't hurt to know some natural ways of healing your body.

I didn't mean to give you the impression that I feel sorry for you. I don't. I just feel empathy that you've been in a tough spot. I can tell you're resilient though. You're made of tougher stuff than some. I supposed you'd have to be with your "special" mother! (At least it doesn't sound like you have to hide the wire hangers while she visits, although you may have to stock up on toilet seat protectors!) Good luck with her visit ;)

Amy

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 Post subject: Today
PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:03 pm 
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Hey Forum, Hope everyone is well today,
I have a free consult with one of the 3 Naturopath Docs. tomorrow at 10:15. AM. (the only one that offered the 30 min free consult) I am anxious to get some insight on what exactly my options are as far as the Natural route. One receptionist said the Doc. would/has hook their patient up to IV and administers appropriate minerals,vitamins, and such into them and possible other things. I really have no idea what these guys can do for me.
Something that gave me hope today. Today, I had a client that is 53. He had a stroke at 51. He is not taking ANY pharmaceutical meds. AT ALL. He told me that he found natural/herbal and mineral remedies that are the equivilant to the pharm meds the doc. would have perscribed him for his would be conditions. Since taking these other equivalents he is doing GREAT & has no condition requiring Parma. He is very healthy now after his stroke. He did a complete 180 and I can barely tell he ever had a stroke. He is doing everything right, eating properly, exercizing regularly, positive attitude, ect. I feel like he was sent to me to validate my curiosity about there being a natural alternative to Pharmaceuticals. There IS, I know it. I mean they make the pharmaceuticals out of some natural element, then of course use all kinds of chemical processes ect ect ect. There MUST be a simple form of many meds. Am I the only one to believe this? Anyway, SO... I am very hopeful there IS something more natural. I am NOT looking for a get out of jail free card. Though it would be nice, :? and Sub/Methadone is pretty darned close, but then theres the probation period afterward..... ha ha ha thats whats got me saying nooooo thanks. I accept that this will be NOT EASY and I am prepareing myself. I am willing to do my time. Meanwhile I am praying "PLEASE let there be some form of comfort substances hopefully mostly if not all natural." If there is a different approach then I will be here to share it all with you.
I keep hearing of Kratom. (I know it can be very addictive) and poppy pod tea, (also addictive)..Anybody here, tried any of these? Weather successful or not?
Ok, for those of you wondering where I am at in my situation..... Well, It helps SO MUCH with motivation and positive outlook. There is a little trick one of her patients did and he would say to himself when he craving, "I will , but later" "I will use, but I will use later" This believe it or not is how I am managing to NOT use every time my mind thinks of it or everytime I have a WD symptom. Try it, it may just work for you too! I am continuing my attempt at tapering. Going ok...My goal this week: I MUST be in more of a WD state before I use. ONLY use to get myself thru the day, w/o it being obvious that I am not well. (To my Mom, clients, ect.) and be certain not to use enough to get me high. (very difficult) This is my curent goal this week. I am being TOTALLY honest with you all here. I have nothing to gain by lying so I am using this forum as a tool to be accountable. I know I will be getting some neg. feedback and it is ok. I accept this. None the less, I am doing this until I come up w/ a solution. & when Mom leaves. AND I have not completely decided against Sub. Waiting for Mom to leave. Here is a list of the options I have before me:
1) In patient detox. (After mom ha ha)
2) Sub (now or very soon)
3) CT w/ comfort meds. (As soon as I am prepared mentally which is SOON!)
4) Naturopathic Doc. Has a solution to help me thru the worst part of WD and I can do it w/o Sub (I will learn more tomorrow)
So there ya have it. MY PLAN. I AM doing better than before. Nothing is perfect. I am still 100% committed to getting OFF and staying OFF drugs.......and alcohol.....
I am off for a walk to the beach.....instead of using.....YESSSSSSS!
Thank you all for caring and even being devils advocate if you like....Not that I want to argue or debate or prove anyone right....or wrong..... Blessings....Kimberly


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:00 pm 
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Kim you just made me think about this doctor that I have been hearing a TON about in my area. He is an accupuncture doctor who does all of these herbal remedies. He has helped several people with detoxing from pain pills and has alot of success with a ton of different disorders. He puts these little black beads in pressure points in your ears and you wear them for weeks at a time, but then he really knows alot about chinese herbs. My friend who is a diabetic and on an insulin pump started going to him and she has cut down her insulin intake like 75% since she started seeing him. I am going to try to find his website and post it here because it might give you some ideas on what to look for in your area. Plus I have been meaning to make an appointment with him and check him out for myself.

I am so glad to hear from you today. It sounds like you have a plan and you are following through with it. I'm here for you girl...just keep rockin it!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:44 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:04 pm
Posts: 421
Location: California, San Diego
HMMM..... Somehow a paragraph is missing from my last post. So when I mentioned "Theres a little trick one of her patients uses" I was refering to Debbie WIlliams CD. It is the CD I have been listening to every single night before bed. It is a HypnoCD. I LOVE IT so much. It totally helps with motivation and positive outlook. and RELAXATION... My topic is Stopping Heroin with Hypnosis. I thought I would post a link to the Hypno site. There are hundreds of subjects and IT WORKS beautifully. (for me anyway) I really think we can not arm ourselves enough when it comes to our health, recovery and life in general. It may not be for everyone, but I LOVE IT! So here is the link: http://www.debbiewilliamsassociates.co.uk/

Q~THANK you for the info. WOw. I did not even think about Chinese herbs. OR Acupuncture. I have had Acupuncture before, I certainly believe it could work for many issues and personally know several ppl who swear by the effectiveness of Acupuncture. I would LOVE the link to the website. I totally believe I can shake this WO any Pharmaceuticals Q. There is definately things I MUST work on to actually get off like I wish to. Honestly I think WE ALL CAN. It is a matter of having enough strength, courage and DRIVE.
MAN I went on this walk this evening. I went to the beach. I swear it was such a RAD walk. I had so much energy, I felt soooo good. I had on my jumbo headphones & was listening to Theivory Corporation radio on Pandora... I felt like I could walk for miles and miles. I was gone for a good hour maybe two. It was dark and I was right at the water where the waves were crashing, I could barely see but there were the little birds and they were trying to run from the crashing waves. The waves were glowing a flourescent blue`ish color from the moonlight. I took my shoes socks and leg warmers off and walked in the sand. I had such a solid feeling of being ALIVE. I am definitely going thru some changes. Spiritual awakening I want to call it.
I am very very happy I did the walk. I look forward to being clean so one day I will take that very walk with someone special. One of the things I am ready for once I get clean. Being happy healthy and falling for the RIGHT guy..
Anyway.. Good evening to all..


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 Post subject: Irritated slightly
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:26 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:04 pm
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Location: California, San Diego
Got a message from my Mother saying "We were supposed to be in your area tomorrow but we are in the middle of a business transaction here" We will likely be thereFriday, maybe Saturday........"
Great! :roll:
Well I made arrangements to accomodate her visit and I am sure they are possiibly purchasing a winter home next to my Uncle in Bullhead City Az. That is my best guess as for a business transaction... Who knows ANyway I am going to go about MY business and not worry about her visit. SHe can see the kids as she pleases and if I am in the middle of something, a health transaction or something, she will have to understand.... Like I am understanding, that she disreguards my time as being valuable too. Anyway I guess I no longer have the My Mom is going to be in town excuse....
Thats all


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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