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PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:57 pm 
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You are right Romeo,
Sometimes we or I think were invincible. Pride gets in the way sometimes. Not that pride should have anything to do with being smart about your health. Sometimes realizing how "sick" you are getting happens before you know it. Yes I should have taken better care of myself. Big lesson learned.
Today went really good at work. It was nice to not think of how crappy I feel and concentrate on the task at hand. I actually had a good day.

Spring was definitly in the air today. Nice and sunny, what a difference weather can make. Looking forward to more days like this.

A positive day today, next step is sleep, well, down the road anyway.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 12:32 pm 
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I have same problem.We are brought during a time when drinking and tobacco were considered for the successful.Turn on your TV and your going to see success equated with tobacco and drinking.
In short we are taught we can be in a way the exception,it won't happen to me,etc....We bought into a lie.Another lie is that the damage is done so I I'm screwed anyway so I might as well keep on doing what made me sick.

How's the detox going?By putting a name on my symptoms I find it helps.Knowing what's to come can relieve anxiety.
Have you noticed any patterns?When I look back I had a quite a few days where the light came through then the waves hit again during all my withdrawal,short or times of tolerable peace came.It really felt like waves.In the very beginning waves lasted longer and were bigger,but then the got lasted less and were smaller,with a few symptoms that seemed to be more constant.
Walking was my relief it keep my mind off restless legs,I felt better staying in motion,I think what gave me sleep was just wearing myself out by walking or just staying in motion.I call it the junky itch or twitch.One thing with bupe withdrawal you can move,walk without what I call seizing up.

I must throw this in.I found a script of bupe.10 2mg tablets after day 45.1mg I felt but it didn't stop restless legs.2mg may have but not for long.I had used whole script but I don't remember much relief,maybe a few days then I started looking for more opiates.
I really can't say if 20mg after day 45 helped.My thinking was to get sleep eat and a small amount of peace,a way to rebuild,but that's how I relapsed way 5-8 years before my opiate addiction.
I should have gone to doctor but only one doctor prescribed bupe and I was still was fighting drinking.One beer was not allowed.Many drank one beer,never got drunk but got kicked out of bupe program.Any drug not prescribed was grounds for no bupe.Thing is I don't crave any drugs or enjoy them until I stop bupe for at least 3 days.One beer gives me a headache or one glass of wine.A sip of wine can reduce anxiety and make my chest stop hurting,but after that any more than a 1/8 cup just makes me ill.My chest only hurts if I let my mind race.I find I can fuel the fire by my thinking.Isn't that strange??


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:52 pm 
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I have to admit, I've been wondering all day if Reprieve ever figured out the chair lift? :D

How's it going, Gary?

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:53 am 
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Ha, ha, ha,
I'm sure he eventually got off. I hope he started on the Kiddie hill :)

Yesterday I had a sluggish feeling that wouldn't go away. I actually had a 1/2 hour to 45 minute nap in the afternoon. It was kind of nice. No meds, just me and my pillow. Hopefully it's a start.

Baby steps will do for now. Any progress is encouraging. Still fighting this chest cold. It just doesn't want to break up. I wake up coughing. At least I can breath through my nose again.

Tomorrow I will be gone for a few days. I will update tomorrow morning and then that may it it for a few days. Not sure if I'm going to take my laptop with me.

Gary

@tiredofsub,

There's no pressure for me to drink, I may just try and enjoy a few beers with the parents after the games. The first night will let me know if it was a good idea or not.
The detox is going slowly. A lot of the time I'm dragging my ass, restless but I have found ways to reduce this feeling somewhat. I can't do much exercising until I get rid of this chest cold. This is the only thing holding me back.
Walking around I usually feel like i'm carrying a weight on my chest, a pit in my stomach and just plain feel shitty. I've had a day here and there where I feel ok, until the evening hits. That's usually the worst time for me.
I've had small gains which is better than none. Still plugging away, it's only been 30 days.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:19 am 
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I find that very encouraging.I think what happened to me is I was going through both benzo and bupe at same time.I'm almost sure I'm having PAWS from benzos,I'm in new territory and I can tell.
Sleep is erratic and so is my bupe use.Ever since stopping benzos I still haven't reached a state of equalibrium.I think my body is telling me no more smoking or benzos,I'd like to stop bupe 1st but without my health I won't be able to do anything.
I'm curious how long were you on bupe and at what mg?I can't go to page 1,I could but maybe this will help someone else.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:33 pm 
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tiredofsub,

here's a little breakdown of where I was. 15+years of opiate addiction along with other drugs. 10 years on methadone (200mg), 5 years on suboxone (24mg). Approx 4 months before I jumped I got down to 2mg. The last week before I jumped I was at 1mg but was already in WD. I did a fast taper which I don't recommend as I'm sure that is part of my problem.

The easy part was the first 10 days. PAWS, well, thats another ballgame.

Take care


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:48 pm 
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I understand my usage timeline is very close,

I'm very curious.By what I've read when people go below 2-3mg w/d start showing not severe but you'll know they are there.

I understand jumping to nothing for if I'm in w/d and I dose odds are I'm going to dose high enough to get relief,if not why even use it?This is my thinking.

I'm just curious once at 1mg why did you jump to 0?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:37 pm 
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I picked a date and stuck to it. I should have just stayed at 2mg and jumped from there. Two weeks at 1mg was not fun. I really didn't taper slowly enough and put myself in WD for a few weeks before I jumped. I should have started a slower taper a long time ago. I new 6 months ago when I was getting off Suboxone. My mind was made up that long ago. I just waited too long to start my taper and had to rush it.

Actually I was surprised I got that low. Never been good at tapering. I tried that with methadone and gave up.
As for WD's when you get to 2-3mg I guess it depends on how slow you taper. From what I've read and heard it gets a little harder once you get below 2mg but if you do it slow and at the right pace a lot of people swear by it. I'll take there word for it. The way I did it was the only way for me. I surprised myself getting that low.

You really have to know mentally that you are ready. There is no room for doubt. If you have doubt your not ready. There is no quick fix and unless your ready for the long haul, wait. You will know when your time is. You have to be fully committed or you won't last.

Good luck to you


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:13 pm 
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Its good to see your still on the straight and narrow Gary. It sucks that your suffering bad from PAWS , I hope its manageable. Something tells me that spring will awaken a whole bunch of hope inside of you. This cold weather is naturally depressing. Maybe we're remembering how to deal with life all over again? GL bro

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:21 am 
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@hope,

great to here from you my friend. Sounds like you are doing awesome. I'm happy for you. Looking forward to the day I can get on with my life. Yea, this weather sucks. Maybe by April spring will hit. F**k**g woke up at 1am. Haven't done that in a while.

Could be because we have to leave early this morning for a hockey tournament in the Falls. Were staying in a hotel for a few days. This will be a pretty good test to see where I'm at. Still trying to beat this chest cold which isn't helping with sleep.

Here's to better days ahead. Keep in touch once in a while. It's always good to here from you.

Thanks Friend,

Gary


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:57 am 
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I'll talk to you guys in a few days, off to Niagra Falls for a hockey tournament. I'm leaving my laptop at home. Wish me luck.

Take care everyone,

Gary


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 6:21 pm 
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I'm new here but just wanted to share my experience with opiates and Suboxone. I started using oxy's when I was 21 years old. I was playing college basketball at the time and living a great life. One night I was asked if I wanted to try it and I loved it. Didn't really get addicted til about a year later. I started using every day always snorting up my nose never the needle. I was up to 160mg or more a day. I would of done more if I had more money at that time. But After three and a half years I found out about Suboxone from a friend. And I have never gone to the doctor for them always had a friend that had them. The biggest dose I've ever done is 8mg a day and did that once. I was at 6mg a day for like a year and a half and went to the beach and thought hey I don't have work let try getting off it now. Awful mistake I felt terrible the next day it was bad. Made it four days somehow and ended up getting more but this time I was only doing 3mg a day and did that for about another year. Then tapered down to .75mg and stayed there for about two years. I thought I had to have it to be normal. But a couple weeks ago I decided I wanted to move forward in life without it. So my last week I tapered to .50 mg. and ten days ago was my last dose. I actually haven't felt too bad. I was mentally ready to quit this time. I haven't missed a day of work just going about life like I was on it and it has helped me a lot. I'm not saying its easy at all. I've had sleepless night and anxiety those are the two worst for me, I've only taken ibuprofen for the pain and the only real pain I have is in my back but I do a labor job and I think that makes it worse. I'm about to be 29 years old in three weeks and wanted a fresh start to my life and each day gets better. Really my worst days were 4-7. But there is hope in getting off it I promise.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:28 pm 
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Sounds great.Tapering seems to be a big key.I tried 2md a day for 4 days it's tolerable but I feel very awkward.It's been a long time since I've felt normal.
I feel normal during times on 2mg per day I've tested the waters but I'm not quite ready.My anxiety still causes me a great deal of discomfort.
I was on benzos for many years,just quit 6 months ago and I think bupe may have been better to quit 1st??


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:58 pm 
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When I quit for four days the first time and started back on them 3 mg felt the same for me then the taper to .75 felt the same after that. I didn't take the whole amount at once though. I always did morning and night. So I don't know if that makes it easier or not. I was scared of withdrawal but once the hard physical stuff is gone it's not bad. Mentally I don't wanna touch another drug. I lost my fiancé to Suboxone I didn't tell her and that was just 5 months ago so I had to make a change for the better for myself. And hopefully you can get tapered down too.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 1:26 pm 
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Tapering slowly is the right way to go. Some people like myself pay the price for a fast taper and many, many years of abuse. I hope you continue to get better.

I still have problems sleeping, but I must say I have a bit more energy lately. Not great but better. Still have this crappy cough that just won't break up. What a pain.

Take care


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:16 pm 
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What's up man?

I see you still have the cough :( That sucks, but you already know that...

The trip was good and I'll post all about it over on my thread a bit later. We had a really good time and all went well. Didn't get to go skiing after all, but I was able to try the Rocky Mountain Alpine Coaster. That was a blast!

It's good to be home, but it was a bit strange going through the time change mid vacation. Really messed up the little ones' schedule which does not for happy kids make.

How's the sleeping coming along? I did't read all of the new posts to catch up as I have a lot of catching up to do.

Good to be back!

Much love,

John

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:37 pm 
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Good to have you back John,

Sounds like you had a blast, to bad you didn't get a chance to ski. On the bright side you didn't have to figure out how to get off the chair lift. :)

Yea my friend, this cough really sucks. It's no better than it was 2 weeks ago. I'm beginning to wonder.
My sleeping is erratic. Some nights I get 4-6 hours then I will get 2 hours. Trying everything in my power to rest and shake this cough. Once in a while I have some energy but I lose it quickly when I'm out doing shit. I think if I could shake this cold I could start moving on a bit.

These sleeping pills should knock me out but it's not happening. I am trying just Clonidine for the next few days. I don't want to become dependant on the others.

Take care,
Gary


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:37 pm 
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Good to hear your doing better.To be able to know that life is possible after no bupe is great news.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:51 pm 
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Life is possible after bupe! Anyone who doesn't believe this is a coward. If your too afraid to quit your a coward. There's no long term psychological problems from bupe. I've read the stories and they're all bullshit. Wean down and jump, find out for yourself. I'm 50 days off or something and I feel normal. Quit worrying about it

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 7:09 am 
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@hOpe,
50 days, congrats my friend. Good to see you are staying in touch once in a while. Your always welcome to post here.


I'm at day 35 and definitely getting a little more energy back. The 3 days away were a little draining. Sleep is not the greatest but I'm getting by. At least if I wake up after a few hours I usually can fall back asleep on and off for a few more hours. Before I couldn't lay there and had to get out of bed. A positive step forward.
Just used the Clonidine last night.

Another massive snow storm hit Wednesday, what a winter, spring is a week away, we'll see.


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