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PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:42 am 
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Cigarettes, another of my banes as well. I also have quit 4 times and always started back. I realize that it foreshadows whats to come with my opiate addiction, but also realize that its more socially acceptable to smoke (although not by much anymore) so taking up smoking again seemed "not soo bad"... hopefully all the bad that comes with opiates (not that there isn't a lot of bad with cigarettes) will help deter me from them again. I also hope to use the tools I am learning to battle opiate addiction to battle my smoking as well. I have a script of chantix I filled yesterday and I will begin my 5th try (and final? ...errr.... I mean.... FINAL... yeah.... FINAL!!!!) time at smoking cessation.

Yeah, going without some good rest is hard on the body and put on top of that the brutal winter we are all dealing with and I can see why you have a cold. Maybe this is the final death rattle for your PAWS and once you can get well from this cold, your body will believe it's all better and you'll feel like a million bucks. I am hoping so anyways.

I hope work goes well for you. It will probably do you some good to back into a routine for a few days that bring back some semblance in your life.

I also would always wake up 5 min before my alarm clock as I was scared of having it wake me up. I think I was traumatized by an alarm when I was a child, so bad so, that to this day. If I have to get up, all I have to do is think an alarm clock will go off when I need to be up and I'll get up right before it goes off. Everytime. My wife finds it amazing. no matter what time I need to be up, no matter what happened the night before (nights of heavy drinking excluded although I never was much of a drinker so this was rare), I could ALWAYS get up before the alarm.

Well, I look forward to hearing about your day at the office. Hope all news will be good.

Much Love,

John

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:42 am 
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This cold I got is killing me. Yesterday was murder. Totally exhausted by the end of the day. At least I have a reason to look like crap. Fever, dry cough, chills and very weak. It definitely doesn't help that I am now lucky to sleep 3 hours a night.

The cold I caught is getting worse. Between that and the PAWS theres not much keeping me going. Went to bed at 10:30 (took a new sleeping pill at 9:45) and woke up at 1:10am. WTF.

Today is the big day at work. Going to be a bitch. Wish I had something positive to say but at this point I'm past exhausted. I'm sure I got hit hard with this cold because of lack of sleep over the last week or so. Trying to go to the gym, help a friend move, getting my grandson to hockey 5 days a week, 3-4 hours sleep a night if I am lucky, it all caught up to me and is kicking my ass.
If I had not promised to help my old Company out there would be no way I could work today. If today doesn't go good all the shit will fall on my plate. They will need a scape goat. I knew that going in but am confident in my field but my body and brain id drained. Just brutal timing to get sick.
This is not a word of a lie, I haven't been sick in any form for over 30 years. I've been screwed up but not sick.

Worked 10 hours yesterday, mostly on the mill preparing for today, froze my ass off, today will be no different.

Hey John, as for cigarettes, I couldn't put another smoke in my lungs, there is no room for air. Good time to quit. Well not really. One thing at a time would be better but I am having a hard time breathing as it is. Head and chest colds suck.

If I make it through the day I will post how it went.

I have to be at work in less than 2 hours - 4:30am start time.

Later


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 9:47 am 
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I know the saying, wish in one hand and shit in the other, but I am WISHing you all the best. I totally feel for you. Sometimes life has a way of kicking people when they are vulnerable. I hope you catch a break today, and at least if NOT today during the day, maybe your body will finally relent and you can get a night or two or some real rest. I know that thinking positive can only go so far, but one the bright(?) side, maybe this sickness will help your body to reconfigure itself (after you start to beat the cold) and get you back to a place of normalcy(?)...

I don't know... maybe another way to look at it is that if you work yourself close to death, maybe when they cart you off to the hospital you'll get some good rest... Sorry, that was a bad attempt at an even worse joke.

At this point the best I can say is that we still have your back. I know that doesn't mean as much when your suffering like yourself but maybe just maybe you'll start to come out the other side of this thing SOON.

Much love,

John

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- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:21 pm 
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Reprieve is right, be careful with that Ambien. I took that stuff, never did get to sleep, but was in some funky twilight zone. Ended up zombified, in my car driving around town at 2am in the morning. Weird stuff.

I hope your cold gets better. Nothing like getting kicked in the $%^& while already down.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 9:28 pm 
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Ambien changes your brain chemistry. If your coming off lets say, suboxone, you'll become depressed, lethargic, angry, sad .. I would get rid of that bro. Your brain is Healing. Any synthetic chemical is just going to hold you back from recovering. I know not sleeping sucks, but you have to push through the couple of weeks bro. Stay positive

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 9:36 pm 
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Gary,

just wanted to check in with you brother. I HOPE you are resting, sleeping in fact. I know you've been hit hard with that cold and I just hope that working hasn't completely wiped you out. I find it admirable how you push through and stay positive.

I think you'll be OK a night or two with the ambien, but only if it works... if you take it again and only get 3 hours of sleep I would probably try something else as well. That stuff can be bad news if you end up staying awake while it's at full strength in your blood stream.

I,however, don't want to scare you or dissuade you from doing something that could give you a well needed rest. You deserve it and I am sure with your cold, your body needs it.

We love you brother, get well soon!

Reprieve (John)

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:25 pm 
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hey team,
This cold has kicked me hard. I probably should not have gone in but I had committed to try and run the is order that has been nothing but trouble. I worked in a Bar Mill, Steel industry. So they want to run a size, (2.500" round ) that this mill was never intended to do. This place is ancient.

Anyway it was a brutal day, this cold I have has upped it's strength and to boot I ended up working 14 hours today, On the mill, freezing cold and never had a chance to eat. Tonight I'm just going to take a Clonidine. I ate too late for the other. I may give Ambien a couple of tries but I've been warned by my doc not to take them more than 6 days in a row. Don't plan on it. Was hoping to get a few good nights sleep and then use nothing. I have one more day of work on Monday and then I should be retired again for awhile.

I really appreciate all your advice and support. Without you guys I would be lost and alone.

Thanks guys,

Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:17 am 
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One F***ing word!: TROOPER!

14 hrs? are you part robot? I mean with what you've been through these last few weeks, you are nothing LESS than amazing. Once you start to feel better physically, I hope you take time to realize how strong you are.

Keep it up man, you are awesome!

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:46 am 
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hey John,
Here I thought it would be 6-8 hours max. Brutal day that started at 4:30am and ended 6:15pm. I'm not sure if I'm a trooper or not. I just hate giving up even though I knew we were screwed from the get go. We weren't suppose to roll this till Tuesday when the final 2 parts would be in.

This really wiped me out today. I thought this cold was bad yesterday but today I wasn't sure if I'd make it through the day.
I may be a robot but one with no brains. I honestly don't feel strong, I have to learn to take better care of myself. I hope your right that when this cold goes away my body starts to reconfigure itself. It would be nice to take a positive from a negative.

The 14 day forcast is calling for some balmy weather. There are a couple of scorching hot days in there. 32F
:)
It's time to try and give it a go, or it will be another 24 hour day.

Take care John


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:49 am 
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Go get'em tiger! and don't worry about a reply tonight... i am just trying to get to my 100th post :)

The addict in me wants my 4th sub pill next to my name... what can I say?

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:00 am 
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That's hilarious,
Your too funny, but I do get what your saying. Its getting close. :) You are helping a lot of people here and are always knowledgable and positive with your posts.

Last night was probably the best sleep I had in weeks. Managed to sleep 4-5 hours. I think I get a better sleep if I take a Clonidine at night. Not that I want to take anything for sleep but haven't had many options lately. having this cold sucks big time.

If it wasn't for this cold (hurts to cough, stuffy head, achey body) I actually feel a little refreshed this morning. I'm not dragging my ass. Not too sure why, after yesterday I thought I may end up in the hospital. Once I shake this cold it will be interesting to see how I feel. It's hard to tell which one is giving me the most trouble. Cold vs PAWS.

So far this morning my spirits are high and I think I'm just going to chill and rest my weary body. I haven't done that in a while. Going to miss 2 of my grandsons hockey games today but its probably for the good.

Take care my friend,

Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:18 am 
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Hey Gary,

You are right to stay home today! Don't feel bad about missing those two games, you need to get better! I can't believe you worked 12 hours with this bad of a cold, it must have been hell!

You know, it seems that I remember others posting that it is pretty common for someone who is coming off of subs to get sick fairly soon after the jump. Not sure why, maybe it's just so tough on your body that it gets your immune system down. The sleep issues don't help either. My husband works shift work too, rotating every week. Every 3rd shift week he gets sick, never fails, not to mention he turns into a raging a**hole! I hate 3rd shift weeks! Can you guess what shift he's on this week? 3rd....did I say I hated 3rd shift?????

I hate that you have been hit with this crap so soon after your jump, but if you take care of yourself and rest when you can you should be better soon. Just be careful and don't let it get too far before you go to the doctor. We've had alot of people in my area get the flu this year and die from it. No joke, people that were otherwise healthy adults in the 40ish age range. It's pretty scary!

Have you tried sleeping with a vaporizer in your bedroom? That always seems to help my family, it's one of the go to's in my house for chest colds. You can buy liquid vicks to put in it and it makes the room smell like a vicks cloud, super soothing for your chest and head.

Hang tough brother!

Q :wink:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:39 am 
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Well, man, since you have been such an inspiration to me and many others, I though I would give you my 100TH :mrgreen:

I know, I'm stupid, but what can I say... I am getting my personality back.

Now take it easy, and don;t worry about the hockey games.. (Yeah I actually told a Canadian to NOT worry about hockey, i know)

Warm up a bag of milk, rest it on your forehead, drink it whatever... :mrgreen:

Just get well soon!

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:41 pm 
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Hi Q, I just got stupid and wore myself into the ground. It started after I helped move a friend after not sleeping for 40 hours. Then I started getting this cold, (I never get sick) and went back to work with little sleep and long days. It was a very physical and demanding on the job. They have big problems and were counting on me to make it work. It wasn't a total failure as we made a big step forward. I told them to give me another shot the next time they want to try it again and let them know what we need to get through it.

Enough about my work, I'm sure working that 3rd shift is not fun your your husband either. I worked shifts most of my life. It's hard on both of you I'm sure. Us men turning into raging a**hole's must be a common thing.
I remember being that way also. It's a good thing he has a good woman waiting for him at home. That didn't come out the way I meant it. Not that your at home waiting for him..................I meant that in a good way. Just don't know how to put it on paper. I hated the 3rd shift. :)

We do have a vaporizer, never thought of it. That's not uncommon either, thinking sometimes. I will definitly use one tonight. I have to hit the drug store for some cold remedies and will grab some liquid vicks. Great idea. My wife was worried when I came home last night, she thought I should go to the hospital. Too stubborn sometimes but with the sleep I got last night I feel mentally better with some energy comming back. Just need to get rid of this cold.
Thanks again for your support, your wisdom and friendship is what makes this all possible.

thank you for that Q, Gary

@Reprieve

I'm proud to be your 100th am I' glad your getting yourself back together. That's great. I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you either.
You know, sometimes I get all strung out on your own problems and don't realize others are hurting just as much. I know I've been doing a lot of complaining lately. Time to refocus and get it back together.

After Monday I'm going to I'm ready to take this head on again with no sleep aids. I need to get healthy and only rest is going to help. Once I'm done with work again I'm ready to plow ahead.
Not that I haven't been fully committed but this dam cold got in the way along with work. Time to recharge the batteries.

Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:18 pm 
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Dude!

Compared to what you're going through, I am fine! Don't feel bad for thinking about yourself for a few days. You need it! We are wishing you well and a speedy recovery.

And for what its worth, for what you're dealing with, you're actually still in pretty high spirits and that is refreshing. I know that once you beat this cold you will be back better than ever.

Rest well my friend!


John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:10 am 
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I wish I had something better to report but I don't. Went to bed at 12am and woke up at 1:05am. I laid in bed till 2:30 but never fell back asleep.

I'm at day 23, real bad cold that just keeps getting worse. Ambien does NOT work for me unless all I want is 1 hour of sleep.

Sleep is all I'm missing. Pretty hard to get healthy without it.

On the bright side I'm 23 days without subs.

Gary


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:26 am 
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:( :( :(

OK... so sleeping at night isn't working.... Do you find yourself tired (I know try not burst out laughing hysterically) during they day? Like enough to be able to take a nap? I think what I am getting at is, what about a different sleep schedule? Maybe sleep during the afternoon... Maybe your circadian rhythm is just WAY off.

I may not being going through it with you, but I AM going through it with you man...

not that you haven't already been doing it, but I will try to spend a few hours today on the net helping look for some answers or help.. It's the least I can do man.

Hang in there! We figure this out, and soon!

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:56 am 
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Thanks John,
I am at my wits end here. I'm feeling defeated. For the first time I'm not sure if I can survive going on much longer. No sleep is bad enough but this dam cold gets worse every day. I've never felt so down in my life.

I'm really bummed out today. What I wouldn't give for a nights sleep. A real sleep.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:36 am 
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Sent you a PM brother...

Much love,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:29 pm 
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Gary. Keep pushing yourself! Don't fucking give up. Your too close. Its like dropping out of HS 1 month before graduation. Take my advice, toss out the Ambien. You could have trouble sleeping because of the Klonpin WD too. The half life is As long as Sub. Your body's already low on Dopamine, serotonin Etc. Don't get weak bro. Your too close to home plate to throw in the hat. Accept what your going through, and do everything in your power to stay positive. Keep running on that treadmill too. I don't know what else to do, accept give you advice that I followed. Keep it up

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