It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:24 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:49 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Well....for those of you who have read my other thread..this will all make sense.

Today is my first day back on suboxone! I feel SO much better. I was a bit hesitant to take it because I actually had some decreased depression today (i.e. went outside and thought the flowers looked beautiful..positive thought) and I kept thinking MAYBE if I just tough it out long enough I can do this. But, I realized that I have already gone through this a million times in my head and I know what is right for me.

So I jumped off at 12mg...of +/- 3 months, and we started today on 4mg. I was given a lot of leeway (sp?) on how much I could increase the dose to because the new doc wasn't so sure given how long I was off or what to do for pain control. So we agreed on 4mg tonight. If in 2 hours need more take another 4mg. So she let me decide anywhere between 4-16mg how much I would want and she would just give a new script if it was beyond 8mg per day which is what she wrote it for. I took the 4mg and I don't think after 2 hours I need anymore. I am ok right where I am at. We will see how tomorrow goes but I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

Before I go into some other details about the new doc, I want to say thank you to EVERYONE on here because you have literally gotten me through this the past few months and you have taught me so much about myself and made me really thing about my life, what is important, and my disease. This includes anyone I have argued with and you know who you are. I especially want to thank the moderators, Dr. Junig, and Hatmaker for sure. Dr.Junig opened my eyes to the severity of my condition and the stupidity of my thinking ASAP. He was the first post back to me. I think that was fate because he isn't on here that often. The moderators walked me through and taught me a tremendous amount about addiction and suboxone and were very supportive. Hatmaker took me on as her personal mission to see me through I think and she did an amazing job. She has really listened to me bitch and complain and vascillate (sp?) and struggle on a personal level and she befriended me and listened when I needed it most. I will always be thankful for that.

For the remaining part of this post...MY NEW DOC KICKS ASS. It is night and day between my last crappy doc and the new GOOD DOC.

This is IMPORTANT! The new doc doesn't take insurance but she charges a flat rate for suboxone AND your family care. I find this interesting because Xeno was struggling the other day on the finance of it all with her friend and I wonder if this isn't out there in other states. The new doc charges a flat rate for all your medical care. non-suboxone patient is $95 and suboxone patient is $150 per month. She will take care of ALL of your medical needs at this rate. Now I can submit to my insurance company for reimbursement. But she didn't charge me the $300+ induction visit. She has e-mail. They have 24/7 care (although she did ask that I not call at 3am to discuss prescription changes and reiterated ungodly hours are for emergencies). But what doctor can you do all that with? Seriously....how affordable is all this?!?

She spent 1/2 hour with me this morning for a free meet and greet to see if we were a good fit. Then she spent an hour with me at a second appointment going over all of my healthcare. Now I want to keep my family doc, but she knows him and she is going to help me bridge a very important gap here. The ONLY reason she said she would drop me is if I gave away or sold my meds to anyone else. I promptly explained that in true addict form....I AM NOT SHARING. LOL!

Hatmaker said to me today that sometimes we are given exactly what we need. I think this is a true case where this is happening. I went from the Jewish, New Yorker, Moody, Nasty, and Inappropriate doc who was 45 minutes away and who I would be ashamed to even tell my family doctor I was seeing, to the nicest, kindest, intelligent, and competent doctor I can imagine. In fact, she actually taught my family doc (who I love) when he was in his residency.

Oh...and she is also going to Haiti next month to provide medical care and has this whole donation thing going on where patients can bring in condoms, toothbrushes, etc. etc. etc. and she will take them with her. Hey....if this is what she is doing with my money then she can have it. I am SO happy!

Thanks to everyone who has listened and been patient and provided advice and support. I really couldn't have made it this far without you. Really...I am pretty sure you all saved my life because I EXPECTED myself to go off this stuff and stay off it without tapering and without support and with nothing. You all taught me to take this seriously and really think about what is important. Is it my pride or my life?

Cherie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 7:07 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I am SO happy for you Jackcrack! As the aussies say, "good on you". I know there were times when you thought you wouldn't make it, but here you are. It was my pleasure and honor to be able to support you. Having been both on and off suboxone, I think you're now in a position where you don't need to be constantly questioning yourself if you want to taper off or not. (This is not to say others shouldn't taper down or off.) That should afford you some great confidence in your treatment methods.

And I'm thrilled that you found the right doctor, a good fit, if you will. That is so important.

Now you can get on with the business of living!

Take care!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:42 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
I have followed your delimma over the last month and it's been quite a struggle for you to figure out what is the best for you. I think after spending sometime on this site and getting lot's of advice......some bad...mostly good..you have finally found a path that may work for you. Isn't it amazing when we find a true medical professional that actually cares about us as human beings not junkies.......sounds like things happened just like they are suppose to. your decesion to go back on subs I think was a good thing. Things could not go on the way they were because it was clear you were struggling. It was so good to see your post and how happy you are with the choice you made. Feeling better and "normal" is something we addicts pray for and you have been through this before and have learned something that will help others that may choose to jump at such a high dose. You will be able to help others that may be considering doing the same thing and share your experiences- good and bad. I am happy for you and I wish you the best in your descesion(sp) to get back on subs. Happy is good........


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:49 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:11 am
Posts: 427
Location: Fishers, Indiana
Well I'm really glad to hear you're happy Jack :) For me Suboxone is/was such a freeing experience in that I no longer spent basically 24/7 thinking about how poorly I felt and how I was always wanting to use. Now I don't mean to suggest that after starting Suboxone staying clean doesn't still involve work (as we all know here) but after having tried a 12-step program to stay clean Suboxone just really made my life alot easier and made me feel more like a normal person and less like an addict. I'm also really excited to hear about your new doctor. Having a good Subox Dr. has made all the difference to me and after hearing some horror stories from others about dr.s that don't seem to know anything about Suboxone let alone how it should be prescribed. Finally I just wanted to say that I really went through the same experience Jack I spent a little over 4 months staying clean without the help of Suboxone and every day I kept hoping that I'd wake up and feel normal again. I even kind of felt guilty after I started Suboxone, I guess I just felt like I took the easy way out. Since then I've really started to realize just how deadly opiate addiction can be even though we don't get many chances to hear about how many of our fellow addicts die annually due to the sensitive nature of the cause of death. I guess I'm just trying to say that I hope you don't let yourself or anyone else make you feel guilty about your choice. Even though I realize I'm never going to be "normal" again (whatever that means lol) I still think that all of us deserve to be treated like anyone else with a mental illness and not be forced into only being allowed to use the most difficult means of staying clean. It's still obviously really frustrating to me when I hear about fellow addicts being treated as different from everyone else in that many doctors force Suboxone patients into more traditional recovery programs and counciling or 12step programs when the same is not required of other mental disorders. I really do believe we all deserve the same type of treatment afforded to anyone without our illness and to me now there is abosolutely nothing wrong with having to take a medication to stay alive even if it has to be taken for the rest of my life.

Anywho Jack let me congratulate you again and we're all thankful here for your posts and your contribution to our community. I hope we get a chance to keep hearing from you :)

Take care,
Matt

_________________
"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
-Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:59 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 226
Location: Pennsylvania
Congratz Jackcrack(cherie)! I am glad that your new doctor is a good one (great from the sounds of it!...) and you will be able to be happy with yourself and as said, not question yourself. I too have been following your 'journey' the last month-ish and was always compeled(sp??) to read your threads/posts. I know you have said you are a business owner and I am too(small business owner) so that might be why I was always so interested. As I said, I am glad everything seems to be falling into place and you will do so well!

Your doctor sounds AMAZING!! That is really something that she is going to Haiti to help them over there.

I know I am much happier with suboxone and I wish you only the best! Take Care.....

_________________
"The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know."----Rebecca Beard

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ---Salvador Dali


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:10 pm 
Glad you have found a great new doctor and that you are feeling so much better!!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 7:30 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
Oh Yeah.............I can't resist. What is your new doctor's IQ?
I am a silly boy sometimes......... :lol: .


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:12 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 879
Location: Wisconsin
Way, way, way too funny ReRaise!!!!!! Being a fellow smart-ass, I am still laughing at that comment! Since it's sort of an inside joke not everyone will get it, but I certainly did! :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:02 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Thanks everyone! You are all too kind. I suspect the new doc's IQ is at least as high as the last and I am sure her EQ is much higher than mine :lol:

Big Red....I just want to clarify, I no longer own my own business. I did own two businesses and sold my partnership share in one and shut down the other due to the stress of it all. No regrets on that one but a difficult decision. I may someday start another business but NOT in the industry I have been in. HATE IT!! Maybe a flower shop or something would be nice but no worker's comp.

There is a very tiny little part of me that feels a wee little bit guilty.......but not really and I will get over it. Matt and I had the same experience. I kept waking up hoping to feel "normal" and somedays were ok, but I wasn't really LIVING. Hatmaker is right in that this experience did provide me the chance to research and CHOOSE suboxone to a certain extent. I certainly "feel" like I have some control even though there may be no truth to that. I had the chance to educate myself, my family, my husband, and at least I don't feel like I am hiding myself anymore.

I will say that after I posted last night I became super ill. Massive headache and was nauseated all night...from 8pm to 3am I couldn't even sleep. I can also confirm that if you go from NOTHING to suboxone you definitely get high. But I hated it. I was supposed to take 4mg this morning and couldn't even consider it. But my neuropathy was still wild so I knew I had to increase the dose beyond 4mg per day and I split it up and took pieces throughout the day as tolerated. I felt kind of high all day but it is starting to subside which is nice. I don't want to be high...just normal feeling. Definitely don't want to be sick. I don't think I can do another 4mg tonight but I am still feeling my feet so I probably do need to increase eventually. Taking this slow. I may just let it build up a few days to see if that doesn't resolve the feet problem. I don't want to jack my dose up if I don't have to. (mind chatter).

I did work 9 hours today without even looking at the clock for the most part which was super nice. Even though I was annoyed with my job today. But at least I feel somewhat normal. I cleaned house when I got home and set the coffee pot for tomorrow and washed my face and talked to my husband and pet the cat and all these things that sound SO STUPID but I really didn't have the energy for any of it before. It took so much out of me just to make the stinking coffee.

Hopefully in a couple days everything will be back to "normal"! Thanks again everyone.

Cherie


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group