It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 5:51 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 64 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:14 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
Hello everybody.

The reason for this thread is to create some accountability and to reach out for support. A few weeks ago I started a thread about how I was afraid to commit to subs. Not much has changed since a few weeks ago; I am still afraid however, now I'm determined not to let my fear prevent me from beginning my treatment. I have been seeing my sub doctor (who I dislike but that is another thread/story) once a month and renewing my prescriptions however I have not begun taking the medicine. Now begins the countdown until withdrawal symptoms start; withdrawal symptoms that I know will be uncomfortable due to the severity of my habit; IV heroin all day everyday. I'm ready to end the madness. I'm hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up to withdrawal symptoms that are severe enough to warrant the start of my subs. Anyway. Here goes... I will report back about my success and or failure to follow through. Failure really is not an option though.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:23 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:57 pm
Posts: 311
oxen wrote:
Hello everybody.

The reason for this thread is to create some accountability and to reach out for support. A few weeks ago I started a thread about how I was afraid to commit to subs. Not much has changed since a few weeks ago; I am still afraid however, now I'm determined not to let my fear prevent me from beginning my treatment. I have been seeing my sub doctor (who I dislike but that is another thread/story) once a month and renewing my prescriptions however I have not begun taking the medicine. Now begins the countdown until withdrawal symptoms start; withdrawal symptoms that I know will be uncomfortable due to the severity of my habit; IV heroin all day everyday. I'm ready to end the madness. I'm hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up to withdrawal symptoms that are severe enough to warrant the start of my subs. Anyway. Here goes... I will report back about my success and or failure to follow through. Failure really is not an option though.






I hope you stick with this and just let the withdrawals come...just think...you will not have to feel bad that long..maybe 24 hours and you will know you will have something that will stop it...almost instantly. I understand how you are afraid, but you must go through with this to get in recovery...the heroin will certainly kill you in the long run...cause you will need more and more...and finally od without really meaning to. You will not believe how the sub takes all your withdrawals away...and also your cravings for the heroin.

I remember I did not think a pill could take awaymy 29 year addiction to hydros and methadone....but it did! I was amazed!! I remember thinking of all the times I had gone to treatment centers, jail, AA, NA, counseling...everything and nothing would ever work for me...I thought I was one of those hopeless ones they talk about in AA. And then I found out about sub and here I am! It works...it really does....think of the money you are spending on the heroin and the sub....

Please let us know what happens..we are all interested in your recovery....no matter what you do...
Slippe[b]

_________________
"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Thanks
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:39 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
Hey slipper,

Thanks for the reply. All of the things you mentioned ring very true and as I go through this waiting period it really helps to be reminded of these things. Thank you. I will be re-reading your post 12 hours from now when the withdrawals hit and my mind predictably turns to thoughts of scoring more H. I have a tendency to forget all the reasons why I want/need to stop shooting dope when the sickness strikes. It is 230 am so Im going to pass out for as long as possible. First thing I will do upon waking is check back in on this thread.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:31 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:52 pm
Posts: 519
Location: CA
I think I remember you saying in your last thread that you waited 16 hours and didn't take the sub, but did more heroin. Is that correct? Well, I think that was long enough. You could have taken the sub at that point. You don't have to be in horrible withdrawal at all. That is what I was most afraid of too...not being able to stay in withdrawal long enough to be able to take the sub. I waited 17 hours and wasn't feeling too bad...just flu-like symptoms (diahrrea, chills, extremely tired, body aches...oh, and the creepy crawlies) but it wasn't intolerable. My doctor said I didn't even have to get to that point...said I could've taken a pill 12 hours before instead of 17. I just didn't want to take any chances.

So next time you get that far...take the sub!! It is amazing, you will feel completely better within half an hour. I felt better within 10 minutes!! And I feel better on it than I ever did on pills. You are not losing out on anything. I remember thinking..."I'll miss being high", but I don't. It's weird. Sub gives me a sense of well-being to where I don't feel the need to take anything else.

So you should be really excited to start your subs and get out of the hell of heroin addiction! It might change your perspective on a lot of things in life, like it did for me. I have so much more hope now for everything. Let us know what you decide and when you take your sub. Hope you slept well! :wink:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 12:09 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
Hey everyone,

Okay, I'm awake now and checking into the thread. It's still too early for me to take the sub so I'm going to try to go back to slep for a while longer to avoid thinking about scoring. If I think about it, I really want to but I'm remembering why I want to get off too. Still staying strong and will start sub as soon as I start feeling bad (or not long after). Thanks for the support!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 12:57 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
Hi oxen just wanted to give u my support, I'm routing for u. You will be amazed at how u will feel after taking your sub and when you get stable on sub and don't have to worry about copping every day is pretty great too. I can identify with how you are feeling now but I really hope you hang on and give it a shot.

Good luck !!

Gb


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:41 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:52 pm
Posts: 519
Location: CA
I think I mixed you up with another poster, but anyway, the same is still true...you don't have to feel too horrible to start. Good luck and hope you can sleep a few more hours and you can start your sub today!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Failed
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:37 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
I failed. I Feel like I not only let myself down but those of you who were supporting me in this thread. :-(

Im not going to post again until I have good news to share with you guys. Again thank you for your support, I'll be updating this thread soon with good news.


:-(


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:55 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
Don't beat yourself up. You will know when you are ready, We are still here for u!

Gb


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:18 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:52 pm
Posts: 519
Location: CA
You are not the only one who has gone through this. If anything, we are the ones who understand this type of situation. I had an appt to get on sub last October and cancelled it. Didn't reschedule and actually do it until February. It wasn't until I got on sub that I realized I had nothing to be afraid of and I wished I'd done it a lot sooner! You post as much as you need, even if you still haven't taken your sub yet. That's what this forum is for. :o)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:35 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More
User avatar

Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:30 pm
Posts: 31
Location: Bellaire, Mich
I cant speak for anyone else here, but i would bet there is more than a few of us who have gone thru the same bullshit! Give yourself some credit though, your making the steps to try something, that for an addict is the scariest thing in the world to do! your here, reaching out for help, taking about it! Thats a big step to take !!!

Your not alone man, failed is my middle name, i have had so many chances to get clean and didn't.. But as long as you keep trying you can never really fail!! keep you chin up and keep trying, sooner or later, it will work out for you if you do.

I agree with Taurus too, i dont think you have to wait that long to take your sub.. I relapsed once and took sub like 8 hours after i used, as soon as a started feeling shitty i went back on my suboxone.

_________________
Ego


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:45 pm 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:57 pm
Posts: 311
oxen wrote:
Hello everybody.

The reason for this thread is to create some accountability and to reach out for support. A few weeks ago I started a thread about how I was afraid to commit to subs. Not much has changed since a few weeks ago; I am still afraid however, now I'm determined not to let my fear prevent me from beginning my treatment. I have been seeing my sub doctor (who I dislike but that is another thread/story) once a month and renewing my prescriptions however I have not begun taking the medicine. Now begins the countdown until withdrawal symptoms start; withdrawal symptoms that I know will be uncomfortable due to the severity of my habit; IV heroin all day everyday. I'm ready to end the madness. I'm hoping that I can go to sleep and wake up to withdrawal symptoms that are severe enough to warrant the start of my subs. Anyway. Here goes... I will report back about my success and or failure to follow through. Failure really is not an option though.










Oxen,

So you failed...again even...Let me see...did I ever fail? more than once...well I failed in the treatment centers because i was only there because of my family...got caught...or ran out of drugs...5 treatment centers..and nothing...because I did not want to stop taking my drugs. period.....I failed in AA..NA..Oh I went a lot and sometimes I just left the house and rode around for an hour so he (the husband ) would thinkI went...didn't work the program..because I didn't want to get off my drugs...and all the rest..psychi./counsel....failed...becauseI DIDN 'T WANT TO GET OFF MY DRUGS!!!

You do not want to get off heroin. ....and yet you do not want to keep doing it...you are in a real mess here...

and every one of us has been where you are ...in one form or another...

Never feel like you cannot post because you have disappointed us...you have disappointed yourself. We are here for you whether you take the sub or shoot the h...I have been were you are sooo many times...afraid to take the step to get off my drugs..can't live with them, can't live without them...

Maybe if you had SOMEONE...a friend, relative...someone who could be with you for 2 days and take up all your h and have it out of the house..no phones to get more....and when you needed to score next this friend could instead give you the sub...that way it would be out of your control...because you are incapable of making good choices now...at least that is what they told me...all you have to do is take the sub one time and enough to cover your receptors about 8 mg.s and that will make the h bounce right off of you...won't even feel it...won't do any good to take it ( h) waste of good h..but the bup or sub will make you feel wonderful...normal...no craving...no more addict...no more lying stealing cheating you know the deal....we have all done it...and the sub will work in about 10 mins...just like taurus said...

why do you think we are all on it?? find a friend...a true friend...and confess and let them help you with this...what you are doing is wasting valuable time...in which you could die...
...and keep posting...even if you fail and fail..and read what we write to you..we care about you...we want you to see the other side of the rainbow...there is a pot of gold in there..it is called the land of the living.
Slipper

_________________
"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:09 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
I know I said that I wouldn't be back until I had good news to share but I'm back and all I can say is, "Wow"......

I'm just so touched by the fact that you all, complete strangers, are here showing such compassion, understanding and support to me.

Slipper, okay I will keep posting. I really want to join you all on the other side of this and I will. that is a promise to myself and each of you.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:31 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:44 am
Posts: 164
Oh Oxen, my heart is breaking for you. I completely understand why you are scared to start the subs. I felt the same way when I was waiting for my induction. Withdrawal is the worst hell ever, and to know that I was going to have to go through that ON PURPOSE was terrifying. I was scared that the suboxone would not work, that I will have put myself through all that pain and then I would get the subs and they wouldn't do anything for me. And I knew that once I made that first step, telling my husband and doctors what was going on, I would never be able to go back and get my refills for my pills again. So essentially I was cutting off my escape routes by coming clean (for lack of a better term).

But you know what? I made it through the withdrawal, I dragged my sorry ass into that doctors office...and when I took that first dose of sub it DID work. By the time I left there I felt like a NORMAL person!!! No more withdrawals! No more aches, sweating, cold and hot flashes, goose bumps, water eyes, sneezing, diarrhea, NOTHING! It is so worth everything you have to do to get it. You can actually start living your life instead of letting your addiction live your life for you. What we become as an addict is not living!

I know that you can do this, it will not be easy, but you will make it through. And as slipper said, don't worry about us judging you. We have all been there. I am praying for you Oxen. Praying that you will have the strength and resolve to face this thing head on and beat it! Keep us updated on your progress, I was so happy to see you had posted again. Be careful bro...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: i believe u can do it
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:44 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:00 pm
Posts: 30
We have all experienced the excruciating pain of an opiate WD, hence the compassion/empathy us addicts can provide you with. YOU CAN MAKE IT! This is a step in the right direction, I'm sure you know that jails, institutions, and death be the final outcome of heroin addiction. How young do gotta be to die? The upside is, you only need to do this once.

On a sidenote, can somebody explain this part of Suboxone to me? Why can he not take it instead of his regular heron fix? Why does he need to wait a certain time for withdrawal symptoms to start? Is it because of the naloxone in the pill (I Heard that is only to prevent IVing) so Subutex would do the same thing too?? Is it the bupenorphine then?

I am sorry to be asking such stupid questions, this time I was completely clean fresh out of detox (where they used methadone taper) when I went into DOC's office for the Suboxone maintenance program.

Previous times they detoxed me at a medical facility with (what I only now understand were) carefully timed doses of Sub based on observation of my withdrawal symptoms. The worst one has to be like 5 detoxes/dual diagnosis psych units ago: last used on Tuesday/Wednesday night, got in on a THursday, they mixed up my urine with somebody who was negative for opiates on a Friday, doctors were out of the facility on weekend and on-call doc wouldn't write a script bcz of my test results. Thye wouldn't even gimme clonadine lol You can imagine how pissed off I was at this F-ing facility during my nightmarish detox lol they had to Halidol me a few times and put me in a padded room.

_________________
Stay sober friends,
Dopeless Hopefiend


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:07 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More
User avatar

Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:30 pm
Posts: 31
Location: Bellaire, Mich
It was scary as hell when i went to my first appointment, i had all the same thoughts. i was so afraid it wasn't going to work, that i was gonna leave the doctors office feeling sick, and no where to go. i had heard stories from people that sub didnt work, that i was wasting my time. that wasn't the case, within like 5-10 min of the sub dissolving under my tongue i felt like the wd i had been feeling had never even been there.

Really glad your still here Oxen, yuo keep us posted on whats going on. will be thinking of you and hoping you the very best!



Dopeless Hopefiend wrote:

On a sidenote, can somebody explain this part of Suboxone to me? Why can he not take it instead of his regular heron fix? Why does he need to wait a certain time for withdrawal symptoms to start? Is it because of the naloxone in the pill (I Heard that is only to prevent IVing) so Subutex would do the same thing too?? Is it the bupenorphine then?


I have wondered this same thing myself. I have heard that you can go into even worst wd if you take it too soon. but i dont know how true that is. i had a relapse once and i took my sub like 8 hrs after i used and didnt effect me at all, the sub worked just like i had the first time i took it. I wonder if it is because of how strong sub is, that they worry of people od if they have too much opiate in their systems? idk id like to know the reason for the need to wait till your in wd also..

_________________
Ego


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:37 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:44 am
Posts: 164
Dopeless Hopefiend wrote:

On a sidenote, can somebody explain this part of Suboxone to me? Why can he not take it instead of his regular heron fix? Why does he need to wait a certain time for withdrawal symptoms to start? Is it because of the naloxone in the pill (I Heard that is only to prevent IVing) so Subutex would do the same thing too?? Is it the bupenorphine then?

.


I'll give it a shot...if I mess this up someone please correct me!

I believe it is the Bupenorphine in the suboxone that causes the trouble. If you take the suboxone before you are in moderate withdrawal the bupe, because it has such a strong affinity for the opiate receptors in the brain, will push out all of the opiates that were previously there from your DOC (drug of choice). That is what causes you to go into precipitated withdrawals, the receptors kind of go into shock because they are suddenly empty. The bupe then fills the receptors, but not quickly enough to keep you from going into withdrawal. Thereafter, the opiate receptors will stay filled with the bupe and even if you take another dose of your DOC it will not allow it to get to the receptors. The opiate molecules will just kind of bounce off the receptors that are already filled with the bupe molecules. That is why if you relapse while on suboxone it will not get you high, the receptors will not accept the opiate you take because they are full of the bupe. It is also why many people OD when they relapse while on suboxone, because as addicts when we take a dose of whatever it is and don't get high, we will take more and more trying to achieve the high we want and wind up overdosing. At best you will just end up wasting money trying to get a buzz that never comes. The only way to avoid precipitated withdrawal is to wait until you are in moderate withdrawal. At this point enough of the opiate has dissipated from your opiate receptors to allow the bupe to adhere without pushing out large quantities of your DOC all at once.

I hope this makes sense. Someone (Hat, Tear, Romeo..???.) please correct me if I am wrong on this. A good point to make though is that the time it takes for an individual to reach this moderate withdrawal stage is different for everyone. It may be 12-24 hours or it might only be 8-12 hours for you. I know that my mom who is also on suboxone has relapsed many times. She has, on several occasions, taken hydros for several days. She would take her last pills before bedtime and then take her sub the next morning and never have a problem. Now please don't take this to mean that you can do the same...I am absolutely not recommending this to anyone. Only pointing out that for SOME people moderate withdrawal comes very quickly and for some it may take alot longer. Just go by how you feel...we all know what that withdrawal feels like. I don't think you have to be at the point of feeling like you are in the worst withdrawal of your life. If you get to a point that you feel extremely uncomfortable and are thinking you have to have something....you MIGHT be at the point where sub will work. Use your own judgement, you know your body better than anyone else!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: thx
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:57 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:00 pm
Posts: 30
thank you for a great explanation qhorsegal!

P.S -I need to stop using DOC when referring to my doctor having learned what the acronym actually stands for

_________________
Stay sober friends,
Dopeless Hopefiend


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Checking in
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:35 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:21 pm
Posts: 22
Hi Everyone,

The main obstacle that I am facing right now is that I have my DOC (heroin) in my possession. I am still using and only have a little bit left (probably enough that would last me another day or two). I know this sounds horrible but my thought is to just finish off my stash and then begin the subs... I know this is the epitome of addict thinking but I know that I can and will start my subs if I don't have any H around. I don't have anybody to whom I can give it and the thought of flushing it is troublesome but I have been considering it. I will be on my subs this week whether I flush my stash or finish it.... This I have committed to. I have my counselor on Friday and in our last session I told him I would be on my subs by then as well. I'm a man of my word.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Time for a Change....
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:46 pm 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
Posts: 308
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Hi Oxen,
My name is Tom and I am a Fellow Addict in Recovery. Clean and on Suboxone for 3 years Now and doing just fine.
Please don't take this the wrong way But There is no time like the present when it Comes to Changing and Probably Saving your Life. If you are asking for Opinions here is mine. FLUSH IT NOW.... And get started on the rest of your life Now !!! I don't say this just off the cuff. I know how hard it is to try and break the Opiate Addiction. I never did the " H " but Opiates was without a Doubt my DOC. At my end I was taking 300 - 350 mgs of Oxy a day!! I tank God Everyday that I have put that life behind me. Please keep us posted on your progress and I wish you the Very Best !! With some Help and the right Medication you can Do this.... Make a decision that can add some Real substance to your life! For me Today Life is Great .. Life is NOT Easy But Life is so much better then when I was using and Drinking.... We are here if you need to talk. Walk in your Bathroom and Change your life for the Better !!! GOOD LUCK......

God Bless
~~ TW ~~

_________________
"I may not have ALL I want but thank's to God I now know that I have ALL I need !!!!!!
#############
ODAAT


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 64 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group