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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:45 am 
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Hi Oxen,

How ya doin'? I hope all is well with you. I was just wondering how you felt today and how your day went yesterday on the subs....every day gets a little better. Let us know how you are, I know there are alot of people following this thread.

Hope your day goes well!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 10:41 am 
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Hope everything is going ok for you, haven't seen a post lately.

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 Post subject: Checking in
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 12:29 pm 
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Hey Everyone,

Well, I slipped up not log after taking my first dose however even with only 2mgs of sub in me, I found the high disappointing and regretted it immediately. I am on track now taking a higher dose of sub and I'm not having any cravings and I actually feel pretty good (not high but content). On my induction day, I was having a really stressful day with work and did what I normally do to deal with the stress... get high. Right now I am at a place where I feel good and without the need to get high! It's really exciting. I'm off to my counselor now... Can't wait to share the good news with him!

Sending peace and good vibes out to all you of you. Thank you.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 1:32 pm 
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That is great to hear oxen! Just stick with it, give it a chance to work and I think you will be fine. How much did you take today? You may have to adjust your dose a little bit to get to where you feel comfortable. But the hardest part is behind you now. All you have to do is stick with it!

Have a great weekend! Keep us updated on your progress and let us know if we can help with anything.

:D


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:46 pm 
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That's great news! So glad your feeling better.

I was very lucky, when i went on sub i hadn't gotten high in years. i had been taking 2 or 3 methadone a day for 4 years or so. was buying them off the street and self medicating to keep from being sick. so basicaly was not missing being high.

So glad you posted, it had been a few days, i was getting worried for you. keep up what your doing, you sound like you well on the way to freedom.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:11 pm 
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Hey Oxen,

We haven't heard from you in a few days...how's it going? I hope you are still taking your suboxone. Just thinking of you, hope you are well. Let us know what's been going on okay?


~ Qhorsegal


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:13 am 
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Hey, I'm a girl who doesn't like to be teased so i lurked on this post until you started your sub! nothing wrong witrh needing a higher dose. This probaly won't be easy, there may be "friends to lose' habits to break, and a whole new way of going about things, a whole new way of how you view things. I didn't express it earlier but i was really pulling for you that you would take a leap and het off h and on to sub. There are a lot of ppl on here who have been in similar shoes as you . all of us are trying to recover. we all want the same thing more or less, it's to have a life that doesnt involve chasing a dead end road for a stupid high that doesn't stay. i have been on sub for 2 months , do i have cravings.. sometimes , do i run into triggers that cause cravings,,yep.. but as time passes it does get easier to leave your DOC behind. Seriously want to hear you're doing epic
keep us posted!! oh and hello! glad to have you here


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 Post subject: FROM SLIPPER...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:32 am 
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honeybee415 wrote:
Hey, I'm a girl who doesn't like to be teased so i lurked on this post until you started your sub! nothing wrong witrh needing a higher dose. This probaly won't be easy, there may be "friends to lose' habits to break, and a whole new way of going about things, a whole new way of how you view things. I didn't express it earlier but i was really pulling for you that you would take a leap and het off h and on to sub. There are a lot of ppl on here who have been in similar shoes as you . all of us are trying to recover. we all want the same thing more or less, it's to have a life that doesnt involve chasing a dead end road for a stupid high that doesn't stay. i have been on sub for 2 months , do i have cravings.. sometimes , do i run into triggers that cause cravings,,yep.. but as time passes it does get easier to leave your DOC behind. Seriously want to hear you're doing epic
keep us posted!! oh and hello! glad to have you here





DEAR OXEN,


Haven't heard from you? How are you really doing? Please post something...I need to know if you are ok.

I hope you are on the sub and doing well, but if not, this is a place where you can talk about it. We have all been where you are..you are not unique...remember, we are all addicts here...please post something..

Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:41 pm 
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Hey everyone,

I'm still alive. I have been struggling though... My use has definitely decreased since being on subs but i'm still going back to the DOC occasionally. I've been feeling really depressed and overwhelmed with life lately and just feeling like everything is just too much to handle. I don't look forward to waking up in the mornings. I'm looking into rehabs with my family this weekend because I can't really go on the way I am... Not sure what my issue.


Thank you all and sending positive vibes out to everyone

Oxen


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:47 pm 
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Oxen, your problem is your an addict. You have a disorder called addiction, it's nothing to be ashamed of. This board is filled to the gills with addicts and we're all struggling in one form or another, you're not alone, man.

Some of us addicts can "clean" up on our own, some of us use Suboxone or Methadone, some us use intensive counselling, some of us go to rehab. Some of us need a combination of the above.

I'll tell you this, I'm blown away with your decision to look into rehab. To me, that's a sign of your strength, not a weakness at all. You recognize that your addiction is kicking your ass and you're strong enough to admit that and strong enough to consider rehab, I couldn't be more impressed with you.

If you do decide to go to rehab, I hope it's a good one and I hope you learn a shit ton about yourself and how to deal with yourself. You da man!!

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 Post subject: REPLY FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:33 pm 
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oxen wrote:
Hey everyone,

I'm still alive. I have been struggling though... My use has definitely decreased since being on subs but i'm still going back to the DOC occasionally. I've been feeling really depressed and overwhelmed with life lately and just feeling like everything is just too much to handle. I don't look forward to waking up in the mornings. I'm looking into rehabs with my family this weekend because I can't really go on the way I am... Not sure what my issue.


Thank you all and sending positive vibes out to everyone

Oxen





JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO OXEN!! We are all here pulling for you! Make sure your treatment center gives sub.!!!


Good luck and keep us in the loop--

Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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 Post subject: Re: REPLY FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:18 pm 
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slipper wrote:
oxen wrote:
Hey everyone,

I'm still alive. I have been struggling though... My use has definitely decreased since being on subs but i'm still going back to the DOC occasionally. I've been feeling really depressed and overwhelmed with life lately and just feeling like everything is just too much to handle. I don't look forward to waking up in the mornings. I'm looking into rehabs with my family this weekend because I can't really go on the way I am... Not sure what my issue.


Thank you all and sending positive vibes out to everyone

Oxen





JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO OXEN!! We are all here pulling for you! Make sure your treatment center gives sub.!!!


Good luck and keep us in the loop--

Slipper


Been calling around the past couple days... Been running into a lot of centers that insist on taking me off the suboxone too saying "we don't do maintenance"..... uggh I've already been through a treatment center that didn't do suboxone and relapsed the first couple days out.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 7:37 pm 
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Keep trying Oxen. I don't have any experience with rehab clinics, but I am sure you can find one that will suit your needs. I know they are out there! Just keep us posted on how your doing...I have thought about you alot and I am pulling for you to come out of this slump and get better. Don't be down on yourself...this thing is tough to kick and I imagine getting clean from heroin is much harder than pills. I'm glad to hear you have family helping you through this...lean on them for strength and keep trudging along.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:02 pm 
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Yo oxen!

In the meantime if you want to give us more info on how much sub you are taking, how you feel on it etc. Some more info on your situation, if you want, I'm sure the people here could give you some suggestions that might help you along. At the beginning, to get on sub successfully - depending on your habit, you may need to use a higher dose - within reason of course...

Just a thought, I'm routing for you

G


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 Post subject: Stronger together
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:33 pm 
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Hi Oxen,

I've been following your thread for a bit now and I have to say that I think about you a lot throughout my day. As many of these people have already pointed out: you are absolutely doing the right thing. Don't feel ashamed that subs haven't instantly stopped your cravings for your DOC. I would agree with others that you should consider adjusting your dosage because from all of my reading it seems like there really is a magic number out there for each of us.

Also, congrats on looking into a rehab center that accepts sub maintenance patients. You know what has and hasn't worked in the past for you and I think it's worth it to continue your search.

I'm sure you know this, but there are a lot of people in this community who are rooting for you. We may not share your exact history, but we can relate to you and we can recognize your struggle. Just by keeping us posted on how you're doing is helpful. It keeps the idea of recovery present in your mind because you know that you have a dozen non-judgmental people sharing your highs and lows, praying for you, thinking of you, and keeping you close to their hearts.

Stay posting, Oxen. I promise you we are stronger together.


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 Post subject: Re: REPLY FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:58 pm 
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oxen wrote:
slipper wrote:
oxen wrote:
Hey everyone,

I'm still alive. I have been struggling though... My use has definitely decreased since being on subs but i'm still going back to the DOC occasionally. I've been feeling really depressed and overwhelmed with life lately and just feeling like everything is just too much to handle. I don't look forward to waking up in the mornings. I'm looking into rehabs with my family this weekend because I can't really go on the way I am... Not sure what my issue.


Thank you all and sending positive vibes out to everyone

Oxen





JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO OXEN!! We are all here pulling for you! Make sure your treatment center gives sub.!!!


Good luck and keep us in the loop--

Slipper


Been calling around the past couple days... Been running into a lot of centers that insist on taking me off the suboxone too saying "we don't do maintenance"..... uggh I've already been through a treatment center that didn't do suboxone and relapsed the first couple days out.








DEAR OXEN,

Just my opinion...but I have been in 5 treatment centers over my 29 year addiction and always relapsed the first couple of days out as well. If you go to a treatment center that does not use sub...you will just have to cold turkey it.
Your whole deal was to get on the subs to get off the heroin. I still believe you should do that..but that is just my opinion.
I know how sub keeps me clean and sober when nothing else would. I have been on it almost 2 years and am nowhere near ready to get off...

I do not know what mg. you are taking but usually they start you on16mg. If you are on less than that..you may need to up your dose. If you are still having cravings and going back to the heroin you should tell your Dr. and maybe he can increase your dosage.

When you get the right dose and the withdrawals stop and the craving for your doc stops...it is a miracle and it will happen to you on bup..just give it a day or two and committ...I am sorry you are depressed but you probably feel as if you can't do anything right at this point...please don't feel that way..we have all messed up many times over and know exactly how you feel...post how you feel on the forum..post how many mg. of sub you are taking...a nd many of us can help you...you do not have to go through thi alone...we have done it all, seen it all, and finally found a cure...a medication that take our minds away from using our doc...good luck to you oxen.

Please Keep posting..

Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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 Post subject: Hey everyone
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:58 pm 
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Hi Everybody,

I found a place that I think will likely work with me despite my desire to use suboxone until I am ready to come off. Tomorrow I go in for my interview and they will make recommendations (I know one of which will be to come off the subs). I have been taking my subs every morning (4 mgs) and this has been good in that don't have any withdrawal symptoms and when I do cave and use, I definitely don't experience any kind of high. Only thing this dose doesn't cover is my cravings. It's insane that I still want to use even knowing I won't get high if I do... MADNESS! lol. On a random note, just got back from the ER... got a case of cellulitis from a missed IV shot sometime last week and must be on antibiotics for the next week!... Another wake up call.

Does anybody have any advice about a craving blocking dose? I'm actually prescribed 8mgs/ day but hesitate to take more than four because of what I read about the ceiling dose and "less is more".


As always, sending my positive vibes out to you all.

Oxen


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:56 pm 
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Hey oxen, glad to see your post and wanted to quickly reply that 4mg is probably way too low for you. Someone will likely come with more info but i wanted to recommend asap that you take the 8mg. that may even be low at the beginning esp considering iv heroin.

Take more sub and you will see, it wont hurt anything. I wouldn't even worry about the ceiling until you're stable on sub

Take care!
G


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 Post subject: Update
PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 7:15 pm 
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Hey everyone,

I have been in inpatient treatment and on 3mgs of suboxone for about a month now. Things are going really well. Just wanted to update you all.

Oxen


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:18 pm 
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Nice.


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