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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:27 am 
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good luck in ur struggles oxen.

u NEED to either flush or use it. Speaking from personal experience, I was quite paralyzed if it was ever in my possession tho, there is only so long I could look at diesel, and before long it was going into my arm. and this is post detox when I wasn't going through withdrawals!! such is the insanity of the disease. I'm not even discussing the scenario when I was starting to get sick, bcz then I obv didn't hesitate one bit. Get rid of it one way or another!!!

I was facing the same situation about a week ago. MAybe you can learn from my mistakes and remember that this "last time getting high" could literally be your LAST. you might not wake up after this spike goes in your arm!!! So here goes: I called my sponsor crying after another relapse saying that I am done I am done I just need to go out ONE last time to get rid of my 'reservation' as I didn't want the fact that I could have gotten high one last time and chose not to nagging me and bothering me on my journey through recovery, sort of like some "unfinished business" if you catch my drift. He told me what I knew he would although I wasn't trying to hear him- to flush the drugs as to not prolong my misery and start the journey immediately. I didn't listen and chose my way. To make a long story short I woke up in the ICU 3 days later following a brief coma with him standing over me! My "last time" almost cost me my life. This was 10 days ago btw!!! DO THE RIGHT THING OX!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:16 am 
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Thats a bad spot to be in oxen!! As a person who has been an addict of 20 years the thought of flushing drugs would be a hard thing to do! not for me now, but when i was using, i dont know what i would do, i really wish you had someone to call who could get ride of it for you. What ever you do plz be careful man, the sub will work if you take it. You just have to really commit to them, and that means either flushing the h or getting ride of it somehow. The h isnt doing the job anymore, you keep needing more right? keeps wearing off, keeping you down!! take the sub and move forward!

I too have woke up in hospitals before, not for doing anything that i didnt do on a daily basis. just be careful plz, your slow close to being free, ill be sick if i come on here later a find out something happened to you!
best wishes! will be thinking of you today!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:58 am 
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Hey Oxen,

This is really weighing on my mind. I know how I was when I was thinking about quitting. When I still had pills left, it was like I went into overdrive, couldn't get enough. I would take and take and take pills until I was sick. I don't know why, but knowing you are about to quit tends to make you use more than you usually would. Please be careful! It would be so much better if you could flush it. I don't think you will regret it at all, in fact I think that it will make you feel empowered! Just be careful man, we really care about you! Please check in soon and let us know how you are...even if you don't choose to flush it. We won't be dissapointed in you! Just want to know you are okay.

Today could be the first day of your new life! That is So exciting!!!!


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 Post subject: Check in
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:27 pm 
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Hi Everyone,

I'm here for my daily check in with you all. qhorsegal, you are totally right about usage increasing when about to quit... I have definitely been using more than normal in attempt to hurry up and finish what I have so i can start the sub. It's really a twisted and dangerous way to go about things i know. I'm afraid for myself too and know that if my use were to continue at this pace I could die and i'm only in my mid 20's. Either tomorrow or the next day will be my start date with the subs.

Today I called and scheduled an appointment with my sub doctor for Monday. It's 100 bucks per visit and additional money for the script so I strategically scheduled it for soon because I can't really afford to pay for more sub and more dope... it's one or the other and i'm choosing to pay for the sub. My next step is to get a new sub doctor (long story but the one I am seeing now is horrible).

I feel that I have everything in place for this to be a successful induction: Counselor appointment on friday (who is expecting that I will have begun taking my sub), Doctor appointment on Monday, and a support community here in this thread (for which I am infinitely grateful for as I don't have this in real life).


Sending my love and positive vibrations out to all of you.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:14 pm 
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oxen wrote:
Hi Everyone,

I'm here for my daily check in with you all. qhorsegal, you are totally right about usage increasing when about to quit... I have definitely been using more than normal in attempt to hurry up and finish what I have so i can start the sub. It's really a twisted and dangerous way to go about things i know. I'm afraid for myself too and know that if my use were to continue at this pace I could die and i'm only in my mid 20's. Either tomorrow or the next day will be my start date with the subs.

Today I called and scheduled an appointment with my sub doctor for Monday. It's 100 bucks per visit and additional money for the script so I strategically scheduled it for soon because I can't really afford to pay for more sub and more dope... it's one or the other and i'm choosing to pay for the sub. My next step is to get a new sub doctor (long story but the one I am seeing now is horrible).

I feel that I have everything in place for this to be a successful induction: Counselor appointment on friday (who is expecting that I will have begun taking my sub), Doctor appointment on Monday, and a support community here in this thread (for which I am infinitely grateful for as I don't have this in real life).


Sending my love and positive vibrations out to all of you.



Oxen,

What are you waiting for? We have funeral homes and we see a lot of dead 20 year olds from heroin...they didn't mean to die...didn't think it would happen to them..but there they are on that cold hard slab..dead..with family grieving..

Flush what you have left and take the bup. It is kind of like jumping off the high board at the swimming pool...you try and try and are so afraid...you climb that ladder over and over and then finally you jump...and it is so much fun you do it again and again..remember...I am not trying to be morbid..but you need a good swift kick in the ass! I can say that because I am old enough to be your grandmother and I care about YOU!!! I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! WHILE YOU ARE TRYING TO FINISH YOUR H OFF YOU MAY FINISH YOURSELF OFF!! Please, Please, take the bup...

Slipper

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:34 pm 
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slipper wrote:
oxen wrote:
Hi Everyone,

I'm here for my daily check in with you all. qhorsegal, you are totally right about usage increasing when about to quit... I have definitely been using more than normal in attempt to hurry up and finish what I have so i can start the sub. It's really a twisted and dangerous way to go about things i know. I'm afraid for myself too and know that if my use were to continue at this pace I could die and i'm only in my mid 20's. Either tomorrow or the next day will be my start date with the subs.

Today I called and scheduled an appointment with my sub doctor for Monday. It's 100 bucks per visit and additional money for the script so I strategically scheduled it for soon because I can't really afford to pay for more sub and more dope... it's one or the other and i'm choosing to pay for the sub. My next step is to get a new sub doctor (long story but the one I am seeing now is horrible).

I feel that I have everything in place for this to be a successful induction: Counselor appointment on friday (who is expecting that I will have begun taking my sub), Doctor appointment on Monday, and a support community here in this thread (for which I am infinitely grateful for as I don't have this in real life).


Sending my love and positive vibrations out to all of you.



Oxen,

What are you waiting for? We have funeral homes and we see a lot of dead 20 year olds from heroin...they didn't mean to die...didn't think it would happen to them..but there they are on that cold hard slab..dead..with family grieving..

Flush what you have left and take the bup. It is kind of like jumping off the high board at the swimming pool...you try and try and are so afraid...you climb that ladder over and over and then finally you jump...and it is so much fun you do it again and again..remember...I am not trying to be morbid..but you need a good swift kick in the ass! I can say that because I am old enough to be your grandmother and I care about YOU!!! I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! WHILE YOU ARE TRYING TO FINISH YOUR H OFF YOU MAY FINISH YOURSELF OFF!! Please, Please, take the bup...

Slipper






One more thing...look at all these posts...everybody telling you the same thing...all of us are just like you..addicts..We know how you feel...we are afraid for you...look at dopeless...he barely escaped with his life...you don;t have to wait until tomorrow or the next day...what is wrong with today...do it today...and keep posting no matter what you do...we need to hear from you often to know you are ok....good luck to you Oxen...we are all thinking of you.

Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:09 pm 
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I hope you do decide to give it a chance. There is a adjustment period. Everyone has had a mess up or two. I have never done H but that doesn't mean that there isn't hope. I have heard many success stories. Some don't wanna change not really so they stay stuck in the cycle. I was there myself. At some point you have to just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Have someone to tell you to get your butt in gear! Besides what do you have to lose?? :wink:

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 Post subject: update
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:24 pm 
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Hi friends,

I no longer have any dope or opiates of any kind (excluding suboxone). I feel naked and exposed yet determined and strong. Normally as I get down to my last 2-3 bags I am already on the phone with Mr. dealer man to arrange my next purchase. Not today. I anticipate that by tomorrow morning when I awaken, enough time will have elapsed that I can take my first dose of sub. I have a bottle of the suboxone tablets, a box of suboxone films and I even have 3 subutex tablets. Over the past 3 months I have a compiled a surplus of medicine since I have been going to my doctor appointments, maintaining my prescriptions but failing at the most critical part of treatment: Induction.

Please let me be strong enough to do this. Please please please. I want this. I know I'll do it. I'm not going to get anymore dope. It's not happening. I don't know how many more slip ups I have before my card is pulled. A friend died this way recently..... my dog needs me, my family...

Alright just 12 - 16 hours and i'll be okay.

I'll be checking in with you all.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:27 pm 
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Yes Oxen!!!!!

I think you will be fine to take it first thing in the morning, anyway I know I would have been bad enough by that point. Just stay strong!!!!!! You are going to feel SOOOOOO much better in just a few hours!!!! I am so proud of you, be brave, you can do it. And then you are going to wonder why it took you so long.

I am praying extra hard tonight for you!

I am also going to check this first thing in the morning!


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 Post subject: Awesome!!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:40 pm 
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qhorsegal wrote:
Yes Oxen!!!!!

I think you will be fine to take it first thing in the morning, anyway I know I would have been bad enough by that point. Just stay strong!!!!!! You are going to feel SOOOOOO much better in just a few hours!!!! I am so proud of you, be brave, you can do it. And then you are going to wonder why it took you so long.

I am praying extra hard tonight for you!

I am also going to check this first thing in the morning!



I hope it works out too oxen. Woohoo! U can do it!!!

Best of luck,
-Glen B

P.s. Im sure you know how to take it correctly but just in case make sure to let it dissolve under your tongue and don't eat or drink for 15 minutes after. Ive heard of a few doctors being vague about this is all...


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:27 am 
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Hey Oxen,

How ya doin' this morning? I was hoping I would hear from you before I left this morning....okay, hope your alright!


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 Post subject: Just took the Sub!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:55 am 
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I just put 2mgs under my tongue. Hoping it wasn't too soon... it's been like 16 hours and i didn't let me withdrawal get horrible but it was either take the sub or score so i took the sub.


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 Post subject: Re: Just took the Sub!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:12 pm 
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oxen wrote:
I just put 2mgs under my tongue. Hoping it wasn't too soon... it's been like 16 hours and i didn't let me withdrawal get horrible but it was either take the sub or score so i took the sub.


Good deal man!!! Im happy to hear it, i think you will be fine. the sub will kick in and you should feel alot better with no cravings to go use soon.

2mg, is that what your DR precribed you? that just seems low to me considering what you said about your drug use. im no doctor, so dont take more if your not supposed too, i know all people are different and are prescribed different amounts of sub. yours just seems low too me considering.

glad your on the sub now, will be wishing you the best today! plz keep us posted on how your doing.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:28 pm 
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I was prescribed 12mgs but only took too initially to prevent the chance of PWD since it was only about 14 hours after last shot. Think i'm going to take more soon cuzz my nose is still drippy.


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 Post subject: gl
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:56 pm 
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just dont go running to the dopeman incase precipitated wd comes, which it probably will since you're not in a control medical setting. also, try to be really honest with your doctor, your days of lying, cheating, and stealing are over my friend!!! enjoy

good luck man!! ur dog really needs you

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:01 pm 
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Precipitated withdrawal would come on within 20 minutes or so, so if you haven't had them by now, you should be in the clear! :D

I was prescribed 24mg/day and I have never taken over 8mg/day...and that was only in the beginning a couple times. I quickly tapered down to 5mg/day because I was getting headaches and nausea, and that helped relieve those side effects.

I am now on 5mg/day and it is keeping my cravings away and I feel great (except barely any sleep, which was an issue way before subs). It just depends on the person. There are people who are fine on a very low dose for maintenance, and others need a higher dose. You just have to find out what works for you over the next couple weeks.

Glad you finally took the sub!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:51 pm 
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Good for you Oxen!

How you feelin' now? I agree with Taurus, you probly would have gone into PWD within 30 min. or so if you were going to. I do think it was a good idea though to start slow and build up about 4mg at a time. That is what my doc did for me. The first day I did, 4mg then 1 hour later another 4 then another hour the last 4mg. The next day it only took 8mg to get me set. I am sooooo happy for you! Now you get to go into your appointment on Friday and tell your doctor you DID IT!!!!!!!

Keep us posted on how it's going!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:01 pm 
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My first dose of sub came after i got out of detox. my gf had an appointment to get put on sub, and i went along to see if the dr would treat me also, and he did. (Thank God)

I had been 6 days since i took anything, and i was sick as hell!! He gave me a 8mg pill told me to break it in half and take half of it. I was so sick and in a hurry to see if this would help i miss heard him. i broke it in half and put both pieces under my tongue. Within 20 min i felt great!! but later on that day i got the worst headache i have prabally ever had in my life, actually got sick to my stomach from the headache, it was horrible. i thought it was the sub, and almost didnt take it when i woke in the morning. but i did and it worked like a charm and has been working ever since.

I don't know if i took too much, too fast, or what happened...

Im so glad your taking you sub now instead of using!! i think your good to go, dont think youll get any wd from taking it too soon. like others said i think that happens rather fast from what i have heard from people its happened too.
Good luck, and keep it up man, your on the right path now! :D

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 Post subject: Re: Just took the Sub!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:10 pm 
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Oxen,

I Was glad to read this today like everyone else here and many more reading this i'm sure... You never know but you may have helped someone else and not even know it.

Check back and let us know how you're doing, i hope it's going well.

Gb


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:06 am 
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Ego - Exact same happened to me my first day on sub. Got the worst headache of my life and nausea and threw up from taking 8mg. Same thing happened second day and I only took 6mg. But the third day at 6mg I only had mild headache and mild nausea, then they went away after that.

Oxen - How are you feeling? Did you feel any side effects from the sub?


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