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 Post subject: ADVICE - Quitting Bupe
PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:19 am 
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Hello everyone. I really would love some advice from someone who has experienced this or is knowledgeable in the area. I have had a year and a half on and off relationship with oxycodone. For the past year or a little more, I was doing oxycodone orally and eventually started doing it intranasally. At my highest, I was doing 2-3 30mg roxicodone intranasally (With roughly 46-60% being absorbed) with a tolerance of about I am guessing 60mg orally. Just giving background.

For my new years resolution this year, I quit using oxycodone by getting one suboxone 8mg pill and accidentally took 2mg of it too soon and precipitated withdrawal. The next morning I felt not nearly as bad and took another 2mg that day and 2 mg the next day and then stopped completely. I was tired for about a week, and I bounced back and felt pretty damn good sober.

Unfortunately I relapsed a month later and got up to doing my usual dose daily when I gave into a compulsive craving. This past week (Tuesday March 8th) I was induced at a sub doctor and have been taking 2mg twice daily since then, totaling 10mg since Tuesday March 8th. I have four 2mg strips left and a doctors appointment on Monday night.

The deal is, I do not want to keep spending the money on the doctor visits and group sessions, and also do not want to become physically dependent on the suboxone. I know it takes about a week give or take to get over the subacute phase of oxycodone withdrawal, so I am pretty sure the worst of the dependence on that is over. If i tapered the remaining medicine over the next several days, or completely just stopped taking the sub, how does one expect me to feel? I am scared of becoming dependent on the medication, and I feel my doctor is more concerned about making money than my case because some things have gone on that have made me angry at the doctors office... ie not returning phone calls, the doctor not prescribing enough medication through my first follow up appointment resulting in me having to make an extra visit with a copay to receive another prescription and more money on medicine and the doctor failing to call my insurance company when they said they would to see if the insurance would accept the program i am entering.

I have informed my family for the first time about my problem, and I never ever ever will have to go through this again, and I have made people accountable for me and I have support now and dont live in secrecy. i know that cravings dont go away and that it is a difficult battle and that i may need to see my regular doctor for sleep medication for PAWS. I dont want to go the suboxone route though.

Based on what I have said, what do you guys think about me stopping the sub now or tapering the remaining medication over several days in regards to how I may feel? I know the bupe will take a few days to wear off because of the long half life, but I would just like some encouragement and feedback.

I have a functional life in the having non drug user friend aspect and having a stable living environment and do quite well at work and am the manager at my job.

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.



DANIEL


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 8:16 am 
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Hi Daniel and welcome,

So if I understand you right, you've been on sub for a couple of weeks? If that's correct, you may not have any problem going off of them. Unfortunately, no one can say for sure.

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway. We addicts like to be straight with each other. I completely understand your desire to walk away from your addiction your way and without suboxone. I do, really. But you've already relapsed a couple of times, right? Know that this does NOT speak to who you are. Opiate addiction kills and the relapse rate is extremely high. Remember, as much as we want to, we cannot un-ring the bell and go backwards to where and who were were before we became addicted. We now will always be addicts, fighting the triggers and cravings. Isn't being on suboxone preferable to the alternative? Relapse and possible death?

OK - I'm off my soapbox now. I just had to say that. Obviously, you are the only one who can decide how you are going to do this. May I just make a suggestion though? If you do have trouble in the future with relapses, just don't take suboxone completely off the table for later in case you need it. At the very least, being on it for awhile will give you time to get your shit together and get out of bad habits.

I sincerely hope when you stop the sub that you have no problems. It would be great if you would come back to let us know how you're doing and if you did have any withdrawals. And remember, your unique experience here will help others to come.

Thanks for posting and sharing your story. I'm glad you're here. We'll support you in any way that we can. Good luck and please do keep us updated.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:09 pm 
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No, have not been on bupe a couple of weeks. I have been on bupe only five days. And I think the clinic I am going to is whack. I would rather get off now than possibly not be able to get off after the 3-6 months or maybe a year my doctor is suggesting. I don't want to go there, really. I know a couple people who tried suboxone and it didnt work for them, and they both relapsed and both are clean now and my friend Lauren who was much worse off than me has been clean for several months and doesn't even think about oxy anymore. That is all I am saying. I may as well be doing the oxycodone if I am going to be doing the suboxone for an extended period of time to feel "normal." that is all I am saying. I am aware of my tendencies, but I have been making a v-line to the kitchen cabinet every morning to get the suboxone, which to me is showing addictive tendencies towards that already. I dunno. That is just what I think.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 2:21 pm 
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It's really hard to say how you will feel when you stop Suboxone. Some people have an easy time with a fast detox/taper like you are doing...others go through withdrawal and/or PAWS. My advice is to just have a plan in place to deal with your symptoms as they arise. If you are determined to stop taking Sub, that's really all you can do.

I was on Sub for 2 years and have been off it for 19 months. Getting off was easy compared to staying off. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to have some kind of recovery plan in place - whether it be meetings, therapy, or whatever you come up with. I used SMART recovery, therapy, exercise and some other things. You are the one who knows what triggers you to use and you will have to figure out how to handle those situations and feelings without turning to opiates.

I wish you the best of luck & I hope your withdrawal is relatively painless. Please feel free to use the forum for support - there are lots of good people here.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 10:03 pm 
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Thanks for the feedback. This definitely is not my first rodeo. I was very unhappy with my doctor that I initially sought out treatment through. I was induced on Tuesday afternoon, and my followup appointment was Friday. However, my doctor made the mistake of only prescribing enough medication through THURSDAY. She had the appointment date wrong in her head, and it resulted in me having to go for a second (and very unnecessary visit) to get more medication through Friday when my appointment was. The office receptionist made me pay a copay regardless of the doctor's extreme mess up. This made me angry right off the bat and hesitant about this doctor's office. Then the doctor didn't call my insurance company Friday afternoon after my appointment like she said she would to see if they would cover the 12 week program I was going to enter in. I called them back and they did not call until the insurance company was already closed, and this further turned me off.

I know that I need to have a plan and a network of support. I have informed my parents about my situation, and they went to the doctor with me on Friday. Both my parents have a history of drug abuse in their pasts, so they were very understanding and supportive of my recovery. Also, I have a few non-using friends who are aware of my situation, and they are supportive as well. I am currently looking for a new doctor, as it is apparently difficult to find a well-qualified doctor who is a good fit in this field.

Furthermore, I know I need to start filling my life with healthy activities that I enjoy and recognize the things and places that trigger cravings for me. I plan to start doing music-related and art stuff as hobbies, as I am well-inclined in these areas. Also, I plan to start exercising a few days a week to build my strength back up. I also have purchased b12 vitamins, multivitamins, and fish oils to help get my body back the nutrients that I have deprived it of through my drug use.

As of this moment, I have been free of suboxone for 30 hours, and the only ill effects I am feeling are soreness of muscles, particularly in my lower back, but it is not anything I cannot fix with ibuprofin. I know it is only temporary.

I have done a quick taper like this once before, and I felt pretty flippin' good within a couple weeks and woke up feeling good with all MY natural energy, and I know this is again attainable. The mistake I made last time was not completely removing myself from the environment and people I used to use around. This time I have deleted contacts, cut ties with using friends, and changed my phone number.

I have a plan, I just have to stick to it. I work Monday-Friday at a coffee shop where I am the head barista/manager, and I am anxious to start work tomorrow to get back into my normal routine and see how I do without all the drugs. Life seems like it is going to start getting good again, and I am looking forward to finally making forward progress and growing as a person again. There are issues I need to address financially and a few personal relationships that need mending, but I know with hard work, motivation, WILL POWER, and especially TIME, I will get things back in order and make a better ME out of myself.


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 Post subject: Hey daniel
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 12:13 pm 
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daniel.dont.hate wrote:
No, have not been on bupe a couple of weeks. I have been on bupe only five days. And I think the clinic I am going to is whack. I would rather get off now than possibly not be able to get off after the 3-6 months or maybe a year my doctor is suggesting. I don't want to go there, really. I know a couple people who tried suboxone and it didnt work for them, and they both relapsed and both are clean now and my friend Lauren who was much worse off than me has been clean for several months and doesn't even think about oxy anymore. That is all I am saying. I may as well be doing the oxycodone if I am going to be doing the suboxone for an extended period of time to feel "normal." that is all I am saying. I am aware of my tendencies, but I have been making a v-line to the kitchen cabinet every morning to get the suboxone, which to me is showing addictive tendencies towards that already. I dunno. That is just what I think.


Listen brother you're going to get a lot of different advice here, but here's mine: the best amount of time for Suboxone is probably 1-3 weeks at the MOST. Anything longer than that and you risk staying on the shit for months. I'm not a Dr. so my advice isn't the best, but I'm basically in your shoes, and I am quitting the stuff after about 5 weeks. My thread is right next to yours, so feel free to read it and compare your situation to mine. From what I'VE gathered, staying on it for 3 months is not a good idea, because 3 months can turn into 5, then a year, and then you will be like the people who are on only 1mg a day and if they don't take that they get sick as hell. My advice is finish your Suboxone detox (for a few more days or whatever you need) and then go on a vacation! Go to N.A. meetings or A.A. meetings.... A lot of people here will tell you you're going to relapse if you stop the Subs too quick, and that you should stay on them for a while, but the longer you stay on, the more the stuff stays in your system, and you don't want to go through 2-3 weeks of withdrawal.

Ok, my advice sucks, and a lot of people are going to be angry with me, but it also upsets me a little when people recommend that you STAY ON the stuff for a while longer, because I was on it for 5 weeks, and stopped, and got really depressed and moody this morning and I still had 1mg dose for the day! You don't want to go down that road in the long run. I am jumping off now (after 5 weeks) and I recommend you don't exceed my time with the little orange beasts.

Best wishes, I hope this doesn't bring a lot of angry advice from pro-"long term" Sub users. But I had to put in my $.02 since you're still just starting the stuff.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 1:58 pm 
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matt1980 -

The point of staying on Suboxone for more than a few weeks is to buy yourself time to get your life together, fix the damages done during addiction and learn how to live without turning to opiates to deal with stress, emotions, whatever. Some of us realized that with our tendencies to relapse after being off opiates for days or weeks (even months or years) staying on Suboxone for a longer time was a good choice for us.

I totally get that some addicts want to use Suboxone as a detox tool. That choice is up to the individual, hopefully in consultation with a doctor, and that is fine. If you (or anyone else) think that you have a decent shot at recovery via abstinence then more power to you. Others have tried that, often more than once, and realize that if we continue down that road nothing good will come of it. At that point you have to weigh the pros and cons of longer-term Suboxone treatment. Yes, you may have a more difficult time tapering off of Sub in the future...but that really isn't a given.

There are more than a few stories on this forum of people who were on Sub for a long time and tapered off without much difficulty. In fact, one of our members just returned today to say that he's now 12 months clean from Sub and 2 years from his active addiction. As I'm sure you know, putting together 2 years of clean time after an opiate addiction is no easy feat. His story, as well as mine and a few others, are in the liquid taper thread.

To anyone who is trying to make the choice between a short Suboxone detox and longer treatment, which could be anywhere from a few months to a year or more, I'd recommend doing some research. And by research I don't mean "Read a bunch of Suboxone horror stories on the internet." I mean read some actual research articles about opiate addiction and treatment methods. Abstinence, MMT, Suboxone - find out for yourself what the success rates and relapse rates are. Think about who you are: how long have you been abusing drugs? How many times have you tried to quit? Have you ever OD'd? How long have you been able to abstain from drugs in the past? Do you have access to support for an abstinence based recovery plan?

Use this information to make an informed decision about your health. The rate of remission for opiate addicts is abysmally low. The rate of overdose is frighteningly high. What will be the cost to yourself, you life, your loved ones if you relapse? If the potential cost of those actions is higher than a few weeks of Suboxone withdrawal, factor that into your decision. I am in school to be a chemical dependency counselor and I can tell you that the research I've read indicates that the longer you stay on Suboxone, the better chance you have at recovery. But don't take my word for it. You obviously have access to the internet or you wouldn't be reading this right now. So do some research and find out for yourself. It's only your life that depends on it.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:40 pm 
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Well, a week clean from opoids, and 57 hours no bupe. Most of the soreness has subsided, and other than a mild sniffly nose, I don't feel bad, really. I do feel "revved-up" but that is to be expected. The rest of my recovery is up to me at this point. I feel more certain and have a better plan this time around. I plan to be around this forum for a while to keep everyone posted and to help others with their personal questions/concerns.

Wish me luck.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:44 am 
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Hey...just look at Mike Starr who was even blessed with celebrity rehab and all kinds of support and will power and everything else under the sun. Without bupe he still ended up dead. Just sayin'.....

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:28 am 
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This is the first I have heard about this Jack. I'm really glad you posted it. I remember watching this series of Celebrity Rehab - in fact I think it was the first time I ever watched the show as it was right when my own recovery started. Even though they were pretty tight lipped about it, it seemed like they had Starr on Suboxone throughout much of the show. I mean, how could they not have? He would not have been in any shape to tape a show without it. Still, it was also very clear that Dr. Drew's ultimate goal was to get Starr (and anyone else he treats) off of that terrible, addictive, rotten, good-for-nothing Suboxone - sarcastic emphasis is mine. I don't think there is any better example of the danger of going off of Suboxone than this. Is there any two ways around the fact that had Mike Starr kept taking Suboxone, he would still be alive right now? I mean, honestly, is there any question?

For the sake of argument, let's just concede that being off of Suboxone and drug-free is better than being on Suboxone. Let's just say that it is - for argument sake. Even so, being on Suboxone is much preferred and better than being dead. Yet some doctors and addicts alike are willing to take the risk. They are willing to risk death for the chance to not have to take Suboxone once a day. Seems like a good risk-benefit ratio to me - again more sarcasm.


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 Post subject: Starr
PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:27 pm 
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I don't think Mike Starr was on Suboxone during Celebrity Rehab. In fact, I remember the episode where he ASKED Dr. Drew for a Suboxone, and Drew said no. You can tell by his mood swings, his attempt to punch the camera man, the look on his face, his sweating, and the fact that he was 47 DAYS SOBER and was still feeling like shit, that he was coming off of MONTHS of Methadone and Suboxone maintenance. At the end of 2-3 months he was finally starting to feel normal again, but apparently not normal enough. R.I.P. to one of the greatest bassists ever. That makes half the band from the Dirt album now 6 feet BENEATH the dirt. The saddest stories ever..... Just another reason why we all need to clean up as soon as possible. The road eventually will lead to jail (where I'm headed soon), institutions... or of course death. I know this is an N.A. cliche but it's SO true. Hang in there buddy.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:44 am 
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Of course there is no way for me to really know if they had Starr on Bup/Sub or not. It's just my guess and gut instinct. Do keep in mind, however, that although the show lasts for several months on television, I am pretty sure they tape it all in three weeks. That is the total length of their stay - 21 days. That is not at all nearly enough time to completly get back to "normal" after doing H or methadone. In the first show or two (which would correspond to the first three or four days) Starr is very clearly in withdrawal - there are no two ways around that, as evidenced by some of the things that you mention. Then, almost like by "magic" Starr is much, much better on the following show. Again, the show where he is visibly better aired three or four weeks into the series but would have occurred during the first week of his 21-day stay. How on earth would anyone withdrawing from H or methadone get so much better so fast? This really tells me that Sub had to be a part of it. I also recall them talking about putting him on Sub and then from what I remember, they were trying to reduce his dose or taper him off and we then got a few sentences from him on camera about that. It was at this time that you could see him get very irritable again and seemingly back in withdrawal.

It's been a while since I saw it and this is just from my memory, but again, just taking into account the short time-frame that taping takes place, it really seems to me like Sub was involved. Again, without it, he would have acted like he did during those first couple shows, throughout the entire 21-day stay that he was there. Also, remember that while Dr. Drew claims that Sub should not be used long-term, he has said that he thinks it can and should be used for detox.

Either way, it seems very clear to me that had they decided to just put and keep Mike Starr on 12 or 16mg of Sub, and so long as he continued to take it, he would very likely be alive today. Mike Starr really puts a face on all of this. Those who saw him struggle on television with opiate addiction now see that in the absense of treatment and the absense of Suboxone, he ends up dead.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:57 am 
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I do NOT agree with a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist telling a patient how long they should be on Suboxone either. Like I've said before, everyone comes into and through recovery in their own way AND in their own time! IMO, this grants the patient the greatest chance for success.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:26 pm 
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I watch this show all the time. So sad that Star died.

I also thought he was on sub thru out the 21 days... I think they did try and wean him but with Meth in the picture a two week stint on sub is not enough to stop the wd.

I hear you all when you say being on sub is better then dead. I really agree. I do wish I could remain on sub. It just dosnt mesh with my body. It did work for a while though. Long enough to change my life. But then it just stop working for me. the side affects of the sub was just as bad as using for me. I became agoraphobic sorta.. I couldn't leave my house, answer the phone. I was very involved in meeting and they came by my house to see whats up a few times. I couldnt even answer the door. I did finally go to a meeting to let them all know I was still alive... just not doing good. It was then that I realize that sub just dosnt work for everyone for years on in. I am one of the unlucky ones. Trust me... if sub allowed me to feel like I did at first I would stay on it for life. It just didnt. I do hope our goverment or pharm companies come up with something else that will work for a life time.


If I knew that sub would stop working for me I would of done something different. Dont know what that is but something. I am hopeing this Ibogaine works for me. I think I have changed my life.. I dont know any active dopers, I dont hang out with users. I have a good paying job and I do now have all the tools know to man to stay sober... well known here in the usa. I have been off sub now since the 15th but on low dose morphine to cover the wd's. I tried to wean off very slow then jump but after 5 mo I felt no better then I did by week three off sub. I was able to work thru the cravings that came back ten fold... I was so scared I would go back to junk that I did 90/90...after 5 mos I could not hold up any more. I knew I was gonna go back to dope or had to go back on bmt. I didnt want MMT... hate the stigma and bmt so much easier to hide from my job. We got a memo that in 2012 they will began testing for sub so I would of lost my job if I stayed on sub. I have to do sometihng different. So I am.

I wish I had the body that could stay on sub...but why be on sub if I am miserable on it. Actually death didnt seem all that bad to me. I know that now I am on morphine that I cant trust my feelings... but I do feel so much better. I am sticking very close to the meetings and I work even harder at CBT. I am back in thereapy and my therapist uses cbt threapy. I am lucky that my health ins. covers most of my therapy. I do have to pay a co-pay but its miminal. I do wish that what I was told was true about sub. And maybe again its differnet for everyone but when I go off sub the last time I did have to start from scratch again. I was a blubbering idiot for those five mos. The Cravings were horrible, if not for being so involved in AA I think I would of gone right back to where I was pre sub. After the 5 mo I figured the sub was safer then the junk so I went back on it. I didnt get the same "honeymoom" feeling that the other site talk about or that I got when I first started sub... I was right back to feeling like crap day in and day out. I have never been a lucky person... and this luck had to hold true when it came to sub. Some of you guys have no ideal how lucky you are that sub works for you year after year. I do wonder why it works for some and not others. Why did it stop working for me? I did all I was suppose to do. I got support, I learned how to work thru things without depending on opiates.. well, I thought I did anyhow. NOt sure now if that is true since I did have a opiate in my system but life was so much better at first. I am angry at GOD that he chose that sub wont work for me for the rest of my life. I have tried different doses at my Md suggetion. The higher I went the worse I felt. when on lower doses a little did imiproved but surely not to where I was when I first started sub. THis makes me really mad.


I guess we are all different. But for sure it not a blanket for all. Sub dont work for everyone... I guess I could try methadone but then I would loose my job. Why is sub accepted and not meth.. well at my job sub wont be accepted too much longer but at many jobs it is accepted. Or at least they dont test for it.

Srry for my rant... I am just letting off steam. I am jealouse that sub dosnt work for me. Right now I hate the stuff. Nearly ruined me.. maybe it has, who knows. But I am not willing to give up yet. I will try this other mode of treatment and see what happens. To tell the truth.. Death will be better then what I have been living.

So Danial.. you may be doing the right thing only using sub for detox. I wish I did that. But can I share that you will need support big time. IF not for my support systems in place I know I would of given up a long time ago and maybe dead already. who knows what My future holds. I might just be buying time till I do give up. The only thing I am sure about today is that I dont want to return to what my life was 5 yrs ago where even my own family couldnt trust me. Death does sound better then that to me.

Hope you continue to post on how things go for you. I am interested.

Birdie


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 Post subject: Well...
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:25 pm 
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Maybe you guys are right. Maybe he was on Subs during the show.. it's quite possible I guess.

I just remember the scene where he asked Drew for a Suboxone and was told no, that he had other mood-stabilizing meds available but wasn't going to be allowed the Sub. Maybe that IS because he was on them for a long time already, and they were trying to get him off. I didn't think of it that way.

Either way, R.I.P....


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 Post subject: Ack
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:29 pm 
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birdie wrote:
I watch this show all the time. So sad that Star died.

I also thought he was on sub thru out the 21 days... I think they did try and wean him but with Meth in the picture a two week stint on sub is not enough to stop the wd.

I hear you all when you say being on sub is better then dead. I really agree. I do wish I could remain on sub. It just dosnt mesh with my body. It did work for a while though. Long enough to change my life. But then it just stop working for me. the side affects of the sub was just as bad as using for me. I became agoraphobic sorta.. I couldn't leave my house, answer the phone. I was very involved in meeting and they came by my house to see whats up a few times. I couldnt even answer the door. I did finally go to a meeting to let them all know I was still alive... just not doing good. It was then that I realize that sub just dosnt work for everyone for years on in. I am one of the unlucky ones. Trust me... if sub allowed me to feel like I did at first I would stay on it for life. It just didnt. I do hope our goverment or pharm companies come up with something else that will work for a life time.


If I knew that sub would stop working for me I would of done something different. Dont know what that is but something. I am hopeing this Ibogaine works for me. I think I have changed my life.. I dont know any active dopers, I dont hang out with users. I have a good paying job and I do now have all the tools know to man to stay sober... well known here in the usa. I have been off sub now since the 15th but on low dose morphine to cover the wd's. I tried to wean off very slow then jump but after 5 mo I felt no better then I did by week three off sub. I was able to work thru the cravings that came back ten fold... I was so scared I would go back to junk that I did 90/90...after 5 mos I could not hold up any more. I knew I was gonna go back to dope or had to go back on bmt. I didnt want MMT... hate the stigma and bmt so much easier to hide from my job. We got a memo that in 2012 they will began testing for sub so I would of lost my job if I stayed on sub. I have to do sometihng different. So I am.

I wish I had the body that could stay on sub...but why be on sub if I am miserable on it. Actually death didnt seem all that bad to me. I know that now I am on morphine that I cant trust my feelings... but I do feel so much better. I am sticking very close to the meetings and I work even harder at CBT. I am back in thereapy and my therapist uses cbt threapy. I am lucky that my health ins. covers most of my therapy. I do have to pay a co-pay but its miminal. I do wish that what I was told was true about sub. And maybe again its differnet for everyone but when I go off sub the last time I did have to start from scratch again. I was a blubbering idiot for those five mos. The Cravings were horrible, if not for being so involved in AA I think I would of gone right back to where I was pre sub. After the 5 mo I figured the sub was safer then the junk so I went back on it. I didnt get the same "honeymoom" feeling that the other site talk about or that I got when I first started sub... I was right back to feeling like crap day in and day out. I have never been a lucky person... and this luck had to hold true when it came to sub. Some of you guys have no ideal how lucky you are that sub works for you year after year. I do wonder why it works for some and not others. Why did it stop working for me? I did all I was suppose to do. I got support, I learned how to work thru things without depending on opiates.. well, I thought I did anyhow. NOt sure now if that is true since I did have a opiate in my system but life was so much better at first. I am angry at GOD that he chose that sub wont work for me for the rest of my life. I have tried different doses at my Md suggetion. The higher I went the worse I felt. when on lower doses a little did imiproved but surely not to where I was when I first started sub. THis makes me really mad.


I guess we are all different. But for sure it not a blanket for all. Sub dont work for everyone... I guess I could try methadone but then I would loose my job. Why is sub accepted and not meth.. well at my job sub wont be accepted too much longer but at many jobs it is accepted. Or at least they dont test for it.

Srry for my rant... I am just letting off steam. I am jealouse that sub dosnt work for me. Right now I hate the stuff. Nearly ruined me.. maybe it has, who knows. But I am not willing to give up yet. I will try this other mode of treatment and see what happens. To tell the truth.. Death will be better then what I have been living.

So Danial.. you may be doing the right thing only using sub for detox. I wish I did that. But can I share that you will need support big time. IF not for my support systems in place I know I would of given up a long time ago and maybe dead already. who knows what My future holds. I might just be buying time till I do give up. The only thing I am sure about today is that I dont want to return to what my life was 5 yrs ago where even my own family couldnt trust me. Death does sound better then that to me.

Hope you continue to post on how things go for you. I am interested.

Birdie


Ack, Birdie. It sounds like you are in that dark place. I was feeling the same (suicidal) a couple months ago, but I just kept thinking of my family and how many people would be hurt. Suicide is extremely selfish and hurts everyone around you.

I know you can get through it... as hard as it seems some days. Hang in there, and please stay in touch.

P.S. won't your job be testing for morphine also????

Keep your head up.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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