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 Post subject: "Accidental" relapse?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 7:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:55 am
Posts: 24
Screwed up- not on purpose, adderal is nowhere near my DOC, in fact just the thought of it repulsed me. Now i can't stop!!

I gave the rest to my boyfriend, who- though slowly getting better- is still not quite able to say no to me. After having done copious amounts the day before, yesterday nI went down to three, but I was disappointed about that, as the night before I was feeling like I didn't and would never want to touch them again at all.

Just a few moments ago I found another one floating around in my room, and it made my my heart sink. It felt ike I had no choice or chance of not taking (snorting...sigh I know, how stupid would I have to be to not see THAT turning into a problem??)it tomorrow. As though now that I'd seen it, I had no choice in the matter. Frighteningly familiar feelings.

Amazingly enough to myself, I chose to destroy it. I thought I'd be happy, proud, relieved... instead I'm depressed, fearing I made the wrong choice in doing so and that I will regret it tomorrow.

I'm scared... Not just because the severity of my 'condition' is just now hitting really, but because I don't know how the suboxone can treat for amphetamine-type drugs... =(

I don't know how I could have been so stupid. I think tomorrow I'm going to be tired and depressed.

I was just beginning to adapt to a day without a high as its centerpiece and without even realizing or noticing it, I let that slip away. Threw it away.

...I don't know what to do. I feel so much more hopeless than I did when I first started treatment... ='(


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:20 pm
Posts: 635
Hi:

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. What I suggest is very simple: Don't use today.

Yesterday is gone, you can't change it. Tomorrow isn't here yet, so leave it alone. All you can really control is today. So, don't use today.

And take yourself off the whipping post. You screwed up. OK, that was dumb. But now it's over. Move on.

You're an addict, right? Well, guess what? Addicts use drugs. It requires constant vigilance to stay clean. If you let your guard down, bad things can happen, as you have clearly seen.

So, just chill out, don't beat yourself up, and don't use. Today.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:47 am
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i agree. dont beat yourself upa bout it and just push on with your life because you are now sober. if you have to take it one minute at a time then do that, just dont focus on tomorrow and how you think you will feel because those are only thoughts and not reality. i know for a fact that thinking to much about what could or might happen can tear you up inside so my recommendatifon to you is to not think about it just try to get your mind off of the issue (i know its easier said then done). just focus on staying sober the rest of the day and not worrying to death about it.


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 Post subject: You did the right thing
PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:29 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:48 pm
Posts: 65
Location: South Jersey
Im so sorry i truly know how that feels, I found 40 10mg percocet a few days ago and before i had even realied what i had done i had flushed them, but regret is a normal reaction, thats just your addicted brain peeking through and choosing to talk instead of your recovering brain. But it was your recovering brain that destroyed the adderal pill. All of the emotions your going through the regret the guilt the hopelessness is all terrible but normal, i wish i could give you a big hug, but as far as im aware if i understood correctly you are currently on Suboxen? if so from what i understand that takes care of addictions to amphetamines as well as benzos and opiates. As i said ur feelings are normal but they can lead to relapse so you should try to talk to someone doc, councelor or try to get into a meeting. Id hate to see all of your hard work be undone. Ur doing great just give yourself a little room to make mistakes.


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