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Can I be helped?
Poll ended at Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:06 pm
No 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes 100%  100%  [ 1 ]
Piss off 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
You're a nut 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
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Total votes : 1
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 8:06 pm 
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I've been on suboxone<subs from here on out> for roughly three years. I started with 8/2mgs a day for awhile and my doc upped it to 1.5 a day(45 a month) granted I tried it and knowing the buperinorphine receptor cap at about 6mg a day and how it would do me no good to take an increased amount I kept to the rigimine of 1 8/2 a day. I recently had a conflict of interest and had to reschedule a Dr. Visit and in worry I had my last tablet and split it in two. Day one of 4mg was fine because the residuals of the previous days dose...today I felt something g I haven't felt since snorting H or oxycodone or whatever...my head was miles away, my already diagnosed herniated discs in the lower spine along with rhemotory arthritis(to which I've finally found an MD who quite surprisingly is the as ting me for thyroid autoimmune antibodies for hashimoto's which my half-sister and cousin have been diagnosed and my believed father to he undiagnosed)...anyways yeah so, I'm an addict, my childhood was shit. I have PTSD and Borderline personality disorder, a long with having to carefully watch my drinking because I can go off the rails with my love to get addicted to bloody jelly ranchers if I have enough.

Sorry for the run on paragraph there, communication is my least attributed talent tree(somebody smile and understand this). Anyways, l ok nf story short: dabbled with oxy as a tween, quit and stuck to herb, mom dies, c as itches brother in bathroom of hospital snorting blues(roxi) or oxycodone 30mg, he hands me one, down the rabbit hole I go...abuse my GF and inevitably end up in rehab...not just any rehab but a live in 18 month Christian discipleship program(I was an atheist) I got addicted to this in ntwr denominational evangelical BS, jesus and his pal the holy spirit and the manipulation got me high. The church it(rehab) was stationed at saw that I was quite bright, as I was forced to go to mensa meetings after being backed acted at 19 when I assaulted my kims abusive boyfriend with a tire iron...anyways they trained me to video and audio edit, to which I disobeyed this cult err church's policy of only being able to read the bible and books written by the apostle pastor baron bishop von fled to Florida to evade tax evasion laws from long island...again by brain scatters...where was I, so upon having access to the internet i attended seminary and wanted to be an apologist for christianity while attending Ravi zacharias school, but the inherent logical, psychological and blatant errors and lack of historical evidence led me back to atheism. (I did meet and fall in love with the most amazing women who never gave up on me even after relapsing our first year of marriage). Anyways blah blah blah I became a physique model after leaving this church and working as a short order chef. Working out was my addiction. I injured my back at work and had 10 teeth pulled because of the calcium eating heroin like meds...and low and behold was given 225 percocet 10s...all while my previously incarcerated brother was selling me oxycodone 15 and 20s for an extremely low price...what a guy!

I evidently had to come clean to my wife and we sought help and landed at doctor loto's(Lado) healing institute in bonita springs florida. I was forced to go in to witbdrawl for the induction that cost $800 cash. All went well the subs took away all withdrawl symptoms and habitually I want to him every 3 months to get the refills I need it to live as a law abiding citizen. This doctor didn't want me to use marijuana or CBD and I have to take a 5 screen drug panel every other month to get my subs.

Along with clonazepam(generalized anxiety disorder, seroquel(sleep aid at 25mg and I guess some mood stabilizing effects) and prazosin(ptsd...I didn't go to Afghanistan I came home after school)

Anyways if you've read this far and have successfully ignored my grammatical errors, then maybe you can help. I'm about to start tapering off the subs. I told my Dr. and his professional drug pushing response was to say, "I will keep prescribing you the same amount and you can taper off as you please...wtf seriously man??? So, I had a mishap with a Dr. Apt as I've had the apt for two months and two days notice they need me there an hour earlier because our of the two days he works he will be leaving by 5pm that day...or refer to my first paragraph.

I am disgusted with myself. Mostly, because I can picture the neuroscience reactions going on in my head and feel the lack of opiod receptors being filled when I weaned off...my head hurt, my body hurt more than normal and as soon as the nausea set in I conceded and went to the pharmacy to pick up the subs. I took a whole one 8mg and felt instant relief as it melted under my tongue and the bupe slowly went through my capillaries and filled those receptors and stopped the signaling for the muscle aches, head pain and nausea.

I need help. I am afraid. I am, well you can call me D. I hate being addicted and dependent upon the pharmaceutical companies to be able to live my life and be the citizen I need to be. The husband and lover i need to be...but, I know I can be better without it and expressed to my wife that I would prefer a medically induced coma for three days to stop all four medications including my inevitable life long time to benzos...

That's my introduction. I'm fucked up. I hope that someone may have a taper plan that has been medically proven or b as co worker d or links to peer-reviewed research I may be able to read. I'm fed up. You know tired of being tired blah blah cliche cliche... I'm done. I want out. I may need surgery for my spine in a few ml ok nths and will go hardcore Henry and not take a painkiller or have my wife hold o to and not listen to anyt hi I'm g but the directions on the meds...which may lead me back down the rabbit hole...ugh I dont know what to do, my people. I am lost, more so now, than when I was worried about chasing that high and avoiding that sickness. If I had enough PTO I'd take a week and go dry, but I used it all to go to NY with the Mrs for her cousins wedding...(they already eloped. It's a sham)

This is my nonsensical Intorvert introduction and my plea for direction and hyperlinks. Upon my 8 months of mindfulness meditation every day I can tell you all that, well they may say I'm intelligent and smart, but I know nothing. I know nothing and I am pleading for a plan, a routine, a way to taper off without needing a week of holiday...my name is Dennis and I need you


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 12:02 pm 
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Hello Dennis!


Welcome to the forum! Everyone here is like family and we try to look after each other as much as we can. So please come here as much as possible!


One thing I would like to tell you is that I too, have been taking one 8mg Suboxone a day for about a year and a half. Up until recently though, I was taking the full 8mg at one time & didn't ever think to split up my dose. I used to think that it would not work properly if I take half in the morning, half in the evening. But it actually turned out to be better! Why don't you try taking only 3/4 of your sub when you first wake up, then take the other 1/4 in the evening?
& I hate to break this to you, but you're an opiate addict. Your receptors are used to being occupied & going on a rapid taper is just just throw you down the rabbit hole.
If you are gonna start tapering & want to feel as comfortable as possible, taper very slow. I'm no doctor, but I can try to help you out. The moderators here are experts on successful tapers. From what I know though, you should drop like .25 milligrams every three weeks or so, and keep meditating! I have found true comfort in meditation!

As for the religious aspect, I would to privately message you as there are quite a few things I would like to talk about. Is it fine that I PM you? I don't want to stir up any trouble, just wanna help. Let us know how everything is going!



Love,
Ash

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2018 12:26 pm 
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Good post Ashlee. Of course there is hope to get off it. What we strongly recommend is that you do it very slowly. Scroll through the posts in the Stopping Suboxone section and read for yourself how many successful tapers and jumps have been done.

Your experience is unique to only you. In the section, you'll see members state how hard it was to how easy they got off it w/o many withdrawal effects. I am one of those who do not get withdrawal symptoms too severe. But I'm still on it after 8 years. Why? Because my wife says I'm a much better person all around when I stay on my low dose of Suboxone. My dose started high just like most everyone else. Then I came here and read how people tapered down and did the same. Now I'm down to only 1 mg per day and even that feels like too much. And no, at this time I have no plan on stopping it. Maybe one day but not today.

But I am not you. If you feel/think that you'd be better off not taking anything then go for it. Taper slow and steady and don't rush. The tortoise wins the race with Buprenorphine.

Let us all know how you're doing. Hope you didn't just post and disappear like so many other people have done. Keep the faith!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 1:17 pm 
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Rule 62,



Very well said about the tortoise winning the buprenorphine race! It really is true! I hate how the people always disappear... You feel like you never got to help them :( but hey, if they found their own way, more power to em!

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I may not have all what I want, but thank GOD I know how that I have all that I need.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 1:18 pm 
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Ashlee, you are such a delight here that I love reading your posts. Just wish others would be like you and stick around. Check the profile button on our OP and you'll see he only visited here for one hour and hasn't returned.

Not a big deal. The topic still helps others and we will wait until he either returns or the post will fade away, not to be seen again. Funny, people ask a question and don't wait around for the answer. Is this our new generation? Hope not.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:58 pm 
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Well thank ya!!!

I feel I comment a little too much but hey, I love this cyber place as it's become my cyber-safe Haven.
But they always do that! Maybe they found their answer elsewhere? Or simply got bored? Who knows. We can just wish the best for people!


By the way, Rule... If there's anything I can do for this place, please let me know. I would be more than happy to help with anything relevant here.



Love & spices,

Ash

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I may not have all what I want, but thank GOD I know how that I have all that I need.


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