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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:52 pm 
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I should probably add that I have an unusually high tolerance for pain in general, so that may be making things easier for me. I passed a kidney stone once with a little discomfort and only realized what happened when I saw it afterward. My brother is a 6'2" and 250 lbs plus linebacker type of guy, and he's told me he can't believe the stuff I power through. He keeps saying you get up and go to work/school in conditions that would put a lot of people in the fetal position, and I can't even quit smoking, WTF?

My appetite is just starting to wane, I was eating a lot last week. I've been making stuff like fajitas and eating lots of protein and vegetables. I'm super sensitive to caffeine right now... I drank half a soda and it really made me feel wired. Not recommended.

One thing I've noticed about addicts (including me) is that they tend to do this thing psychiatrists call "ruminating"... They live in their heads too much, let negative thoughts loop around and around in their heads, and they're not naturally good at finding their "happy place" or their center as Romeo said. So they look to external things like drugs to keep them centered. One thing that's helped me is I finally learned how to do that naturally. I'm getting better at dismissing negative thoughts and focusing on what's at hand instead of always looking toward the past or the future. Once you master that, I think the entire suboxone recovery thing becomes 100x easier.


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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 2:31 pm 
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nadine_wan wrote:
One thing I've noticed about addicts (including me) is that they tend to do this thing psychiatrists call "ruminating"... They live in their heads too much, let negative thoughts loop around and around in their heads, and they're not naturally good at finding their "happy place" or their center as Romeo said. So they look to external things like drugs to keep them centered. One thing that's helped me is I finally learned how to do that naturally. I'm getting better at dismissing negative thoughts and focusing on what's at hand instead of always looking toward the past or the future. Once you master that, I think the entire suboxone recovery thing becomes 100x easier.


Thank you for this perspective nadine_wan. I copied this and pasted it into another document so I can read it again from time to time. This is a very accurate description of what goes on in my head, and why I used drugs. This point of view...tryng to get to a point where I can naturally dismiss negative thoughts and focus on here and now instead of the past of future...will help me a lot. I think you are right about that being a tool that will make the recovery process so much easier for me.


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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 3:43 pm 
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Hey nadine, it's amazing how learning to center ourselves provides us so much relief. I really only learned how to center myself about 6 months ago, but what a world of difference it has made in my recovery. It is one of the most important parts of my continued recovery. It provides instant relief of the emotional turmoil I tend to put myself into......ahhhh, no more chaos in the ol' noggin'....gotta love it!! :D

I'm glad your detox is going so smooth, that's great to hear!!

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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:34 am 
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It's really nice to come here and see that I'm not alone in this stuff, it really, really is. Most people have no idea what addiction is, or how physical dependence works.

Coming up on Day 12 tomorrow and I think I'm finished withdrawing. The only remaining symptoms are the sweating and irregular sleeping patterns. I fully expect it to take a while until my neurotransmitters balance out, so in the meantime I'm exercizing and eating right, which makes a world of difference. I've cut way back on caffeine, too, which I used to drink all day to try to counteract the depressant effects of the suboxone.

All-in-all, not a fun 2 weeks, but not bad for someone who's been on opiates for 6+ years.


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 Post subject: on 3 mg sub
PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 6:08 pm 
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hello im new to this site but im 33 from ny been on subs for 3 years i started tapering in jan was on 24mg now on 3 mg for 2 days now just wanted to know if theirs any one that is at the same as me bc im on my way to get off the subs ive been reading alot about this and their are lots of war stories if been doing a 2mg taper every 2 weeks or so


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:51 am 
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Hey 77vete, welcome to the forum! That's great that you got all the way down to 3mg from 24mg. Have you felt ok up to this point, or have you had some problems along the way? Maybe someone who is around the same dosage will come along and share their experience with you. If not, a lot of members have already posted threads here documenting their progress during their taper. Good luck to you!


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 Post subject: Making the Jump
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:53 am 
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Hi there!

I read your posting with interest. I too got involved with drugs while a teen. I didn't really get into "trouble" until my mid 40's when my friend introduced me to oxy. Never had such a great feeling in my life, and who would want to give it up? Certainly not happy go luck me....

After a couple years of dealing with the nightmare of being addicted to Oxy, I went and made the call to a suboxone doctor. I have been on up to 4 pills a day, which is 32 mg...Over the last two years I have tapered off to less than one pill, right now I am at .75, and I am ready to go down to .50 of one tab.

I am nervous about making that jump, but I know in my heart of hearts that this is what I wanted when I decided to get off the oxy in the first place, or is it? I know I can deal with the half a tab physically, but I am worried about the emotional effects of one day not "having" anything in my pocket.

I wish you and everyone the best of luck


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:31 am 
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I don't even know what day I'm on at this point, but I'm feeling great. Totally normal and clear-headed, which is weird after being on the suboxone cloud for so long. I thought suboxone was weak and I couldn't really "feel" it, but it was still messing with my brain chemistry massively. I feel a lot healthier already, and I even look a lot better. I've not been having any kind of cravings.

Samurai, it's soooo worth the trouble of a long taper to get off suboxone. Just don't rush too much. I waited until I *felt* ready and wanted to be free before I stopped, and acute withdrawal was easier than I expected by a long shot. It's not a "free ride", you'll feel uncomfortable for about 10-14 days, but I was up and around the whole time, eating, exercising.

The hard part is having all of this free time now that I used to waste sleeping and zoned out in front of Netflix. I'm getting back into my old hobbies, which is awesome. I also notice some emotional symptoms in that small things will set me off and I'll have a little rage attack about a stupid commercial or whatever. That may just be me going to my default setting, though.


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 Post subject: So Awesome
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Nadine,

I've been following your jump since you started and it just makes me so happy that you have done what so many say they can't do. You are living proof that tapering slowly wins the race.

The thing with your emotions is that all the time you were using and most of the time while you were on Sub your feelings were depressed. Not so much with the Sub but enough that you are getting the bounce back two fold. Back when I quit drinking and also whenever I was able to stop opiates, a TV commercial might make me cry, shout, or have tears of happiness. It will even out in time and you'll be fine.

There is always an opposite effect of whatever we are taking or doing. If you do speed and stop, you sleep. Stop taking opiates or benzo's, you stay awake. It is like a pendulum. You swing it one way and in time it will swing back the other way. Mask your emotions with drugs or alcohol, and you end up over the top emotionally. BTW, I didn't make that up. Half of it comes from AA and the other from a Chemical Dependency course I took in college. At least I learned something!

You are doing so good, please keep posting your progress. It helps me and many others.

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 Post subject: Re: So Awesome
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:22 am 
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rule62 wrote:
Nadine,
There is always an opposite effect of whatever we are taking or doing. If you do speed and stop, you sleep. Stop taking opiates or benzo's, you stay awake. It is like a pendulum. You swing it one way and in time it will swing back the other way. Mask your emotions with drugs or alcohol, and you end up over the top emotionally.


I never thought about it that way! Thanks, Rule, for that insight.

Nadine, CONGRATS on being sub free and continuing to fight.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:56 pm 
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Congrats Nadine! sounds like you also have a direct plan and the will to follow it. My days are becoming more clear day by day. Day 18 for me today. I agree about the soda also! I work 10 hr shifts as a structural fitter (i build draw bridge frames mainly) and used to drink coke and coffe for 10 hrs+ to keep the "speed" up. Now I have a half cup of coffee in the mornings and cokes turn my stomach...weird! My drink of choice now is water & lots of it! My wife is jealous cuz my skin is totally clear & smooth! lol! Another weird thing ive noticed (not to be gross but) my pee is clear or light yellow, where before it was antifreeze color! Im not lying...DARK YELLOW almost GREENISH. I do believe my body is MUCH happier with this change, without a doubt.

Keep up the fight!! WE WILL WIN!!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:25 pm 
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95, I must say that my taste for soda has not disappeared since I quit sub 11 days ago :lol: , unfortunately, but I have been trying to drink a lot of water on purpose.

Also, I gotta agree that being off subs is making my kidneys a lot happier too. When I have to take a leak, it just flows right out now with no delay, whereas when I was on sub, it kinda took a minute or two to get it going. Weird, eh?


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