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 Post subject: NOW!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:35 am 
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I'm glad you had the power to say no to your "friend", I couldn't and relapsed earlier this month. It's hard when its right in your face, so mad props to you! About finding a pill. Why are you hanging on to it? Do you want to throw all this hard work you put in away? And for what? You won't even feel it...trust me on this. Flush it now you have to remember why your getting clean, not romanticize the good times. Best of luck I really hope you make it.

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An intelligent person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn't try.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:58 am 
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Your right, Its going to be on my mind all day, I want to flush it. I was never one to fall for all that it "empowers me" to flush and such, but at this time I know I will be empowered by doing so. When I found it I was like hey $25, then i was going to give it to a friend but i decided that no way am I going to associate with anyone who uses or go out of my way to make them so happy to have an extra pill. Just little hurdles on the way to recovery that you don't always know your going to come across till it happens.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:06 am 
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Day 7 and still have some GI issues in the morning. Still feel a mild degree of withdrawal. Feel tired, went to bed early and then woke up at 4:30 with my stomach bothering me for rest of morning. Reduced my sub to .75 today. I do feel better after I take my dose. Gonna stay at .75 for 2 more days then to .50. I'm always cold which is weird bc ususally I'm always hot. Been taking some advil to help with overall aches. Past 3 days have been about the same. I hope tommorrow I turn another corner and feel better some more.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:15 am 
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Day 8. Although very mild, last night had some anxiety and RLS. I took 2 OTC sleeping pills and slept for 7 hrs thankfully. Woke up this morning on cue to deal w/ GI issues although was slightly better this morning. I've been noticing that My energy is spent by mid afternoon. Although I've made it through the tuffest parts of the physical withdrawal, I've been reading more about the psychological side. I guess it will take me time to find out what addiction and sobriety are really all about. I wonder if I will continue to crave the feelings of getting high forever? I've also been reading how opiate addiction can cause brain damage. I just pray I haven't pushed it to hard over the past 37 years of my life. I will always have to remind myself how bad WD sucks to keep me from relapsing. From reading multiple parts of this site, I have come to appreciate the therapy or counseling side of recovery. By just writing about my experience this past week has been helpful. No one new of my addiction. I kept it secret and was a functioning addict. Thankfully last wknd when I started my detox my wife had went away for the weekend. I was able to curl up and die for 2 days with no one to bother me. Now even though I made it through the initial WD, it's tuff to go through this alone. Just by reading and posting it keeps me positive and puts things in perspective by learning from other peoples experiences.
It's crazy to think that I always felt like I was living a double life with a secret drug addiction. It consumed so much of my life by worrying how much I had, where was I going to get more from, how am I going to pay for it this time and on and on the routine that most of us have gone through. I'm such an honest guy in all reality that I would love to tell my wife that I've gotten off oxy. But I have a feeling that this a secret that I will go to my grave with. I know she won't understand and then will give me a hard time. For now I will continue to post here so I can reflect on my own experience and if anyone has any words of wisdom or questions to entertain I appreciate the support. Thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:17 pm 
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I really hope you make it, I do..........
a support system and a plan are just as important as everything else.....

I know your strong, and you have done so much already.... getting off the oxy is a whole battle within itself.

your in dangerous territory though, and I think you know that.
Just keep in mind, that if you do 'relapse' and go on another run,
it could be 5 yrs in 'fast forward'
with no money at all, selling your possesion, left by yourself all alone with your addiction, and a mouthfull of rotten teeth.

sorry, this was just my experience.
I wish I would have reached out years ago, when My adiction was only a couple years old, and had someone to tell me this that had been in my shoes.

Now Im filling ch 7 bankruptcy, and I will have dentures by June. (im 30)
9 years of adiction, the last 3 was what really got me.

PLEASE, take it seriously. THINK about coming clean with someone. No, this person may not be your wife, it could be whoever you feel will understand you.
there are so many of "us" who never make it out alive, (of active addiction)

and once your off the suboxone, and havent used oxy in a few weeks, or months, you WONT have the tolerance you once did. but your brain may try to tell you differently.

Just please be careful.
maybe think about suboxone long term. if your on that low of a dose, and its working, it wouldnt be that expensive.

and I bet if you tried really hard (like when 'we' addicts were searching for pills) you could find a doctor that wouldnt charge much.
I did. I pay 25 bux per appointment. when I first went I had to go once a week, now i go every other month.

I just couldnt read your post and 'leave' ya there,,,,,,
I hope you dont take anything I said the wrong way, just please do look ahead into the future a bit,
and ask yourself how you want it to look

maybe you CAN do it without sub, but I think your gonna have much better chances with SOME kind of support

thanks for reading :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:51 am 
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Been off pills for 13 days now. Started this whole process with just 3 Sub films. Started w/2 mg an divided my dose till the end. Yesterday was my first day with out the sub and I did feel very mild W/D symptoms. Today they are slightly worse. Have increased anxiety, that W/D feeling coarsing through your body. It's nothing compared to initially coming off oxy's, but still sux nonetheless. From what i've read it will probably peak tommorrow in accordance to its half life. I'm wondering if I would be feeling like this the whole time with out utilizing the subs or is it just mild symptoms from stopping suboxone now? I'm just worried that this feeling never stops bc it would be hard not to relapse eventually.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:51 pm 
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Today ended up sucking worse than I though It would. I made it till about 2pm when I finally needed to take something. Some kolonopin has seemed to do the trick. Just get me through another 3 hrs of work please? The kolonopin I have should knock me out tonight. Then I pray that friday I feel better again...


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:04 am 
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Day 14.. I dealt with some mild w/d symptoms after stopping my last dose of subs 3 days ago. The first day was mild and the second a lil bit worse. To me it was bad enough that I needed to take some kolonopin to take the edge off because I had to work the whole day. Today is feeling much better. No anxiey, still some minor GI issues, occassional yawns. Thank god the weather warmed up here bc I was always cold which isnt like me. Also your occassional sneezing attacks. My energy levels are still drained and by 2-3pm I'm done. I just stopped at the drug store today to buy some allergy pills that that pseudoephedrine in them. I'm hoping that will give me a jolt of energy. Coffe is just tearing up my stomach.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:43 pm 
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Day 15. And I think i' m done w/ any sort of W/D symptoms. Just tired today. No pills. No suboxone. Well actually some pills kolonopin. But overall I feel ok. I hope I can say that I kicked a 2 year addiction in 2 weeks


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:46 am 
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Hey , Everyone, Just stopped back to see how long its been since I stopped using. Will be off for 7 weeks as of tomorrow. As I posted previously I had a moderate 2 year Oxycontin addiction that was probably longer than that when I started off with Vicodin, Percocet, and Roxicet. I was able to get off only using 3 aub films and will power. Basically went through a month of feeling like shit. My stomach was all screwed up for at least a month and my anxiety escalated. I finally saw a Pscyh and started Lexapro and it has helped tremendously. I think one of the biggest things when quitting is how bad do you want it. When your back is against the wall, and you have wasted a ton of money and its' affecting all aspects of your life, you basically have two choices.. Deal with it and get control or yourself or continue on a downward spiral. If you don't have anything in your life that your striving for, weather its your career, family or life in general you will be faced with boredom and to much time on your hands which I believe helps leads to relapses. I worked my way up to a high level success in life and became bored with it and went from using on the weekends to all through the week till the point that I had to use just to not go into withdrawal. You don't realize how bad of a problem you have till its to late. Just giving my 2 cents. I did it. I fought back to reach my goals for whats important in my life like my marriage, my income and most of all my health. It can be done. Its not an easy fight.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:07 pm 
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I was so happy to read this update from you. I remember reading this thread when I first started on suboxone three weeks ago. Hearing that you are doing well and still sober is really good to hear. Keep up the good work, I'm glad to hear that you are feeling pretty normal again!


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