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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:32 am 
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I have been on suboxone for 3 years now and it worked perfectly at the beginning and would probably still be working correctly if my addictive behavior didn't take over. I got this far and started abusing it. I have been having trouble controlling myself with my medication for a while now. I probably shouldn't say control because I lost control a long time ago. I always take more of everything it doesn't matter what it is it could be to much pop to much food too much tylenol I take more of everything I touch. I have been involved with the 12 step program since I was 17 years old and now I'm 38 and it's still the same. I don't know why I started abusing my medication well yes I do I'm an addict. It started with taking 2 8 mg sleeves a day and then I started taking 3 every once in awhile not everyday but I was doing it enough throughout the month to cause me to be short on my medication about 5 days at the end of each month. So I started buying it where ever I could get it to make it through the month and it is not cheap. Sometimes I wouldn't be able to find it so I would take anything to stop me from getting sick. I spent a lot of money and have put my family behind on things we owe on like our house. Needless to say I got caught by my family and now I have someone holding my medication and dispensing it out to me the correct way. I'm going to give this a shot and I don't know what I will do if this doesn't work. It's the vicious cycle and I got stop it. I thought I would give this forum a shot to help me get some of these issues out of my mind.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:30 am 
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Hi Farcus,

Welcome to the forum!!

This may be presumptuous of me to say, but after being involved with recovery for as many years as you have been, you should know that doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is insane.

I spent my first year in NA learning all about recovery, but not doing a damn thing about my recovery. Once I started practicing some simple recovery techniques, my recovery really took off. Knowing recovery and practicing it are two different things. You gotta live it, man.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:21 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
I spent my first year in NA learning all about recovery, but not doing a damn thing about my recovery. Once I started practicing some simple recovery techniques, my recovery really took off. Knowing recovery and practicing it are two different things. You gotta live it, man.


Romes, that one has to go into the recovery Hall of Fame. Sometimes you hit it right on the spot. Now don't go letting this go to your head~~~~

Farcus, let me also say Welcome to the forum. Let me tell you an oldie but a goodie. "It takes 30 days to form a habit. It takes 90 days to break it" That's why AA and NA have that "90 meetings in 90 days" slogan.

Let someone dole them out. You may be able to overcome your desire to take more but you won't know until you have some time under your belt.

I wish someone would dole out ice cream to me once a week instead of everyday. :twisted:

Good to have you with us.

rule

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:38 am 
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Welcome farcus!
I appreciate your struggle, so lets try and look at the positives.....your no longer hiding this and you are no longer able to abuse it.
This is another opportunity to make the changes that you want permanent.
For me, staying on the right path has only been possible by taking a good look at myself and deciding what i want my life to look like.
I still have urges to use, but my commitment to working 6 days a week is a wonderful distraction.
Having goals is a biggie and keeping busy helps alot!
Recovery is such a personalised journey. Find out what works for you.
In any case im glad you have found this forum!
I know you can do it!!
xx


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