It is currently Wed Aug 16, 2017 9:57 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 87 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 3:10 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:11 am
Posts: 427
Location: Fishers, Indiana
Quote:
I’m kind of one of those people that believe we’re already in the future….it’s hard to understand and fully grasp but I’m not sure a “present”, time wise speaking, really exists. I believe there’s a past and a future but we’re always already into the next second…think about it, you can never catch up to the next second, it’s already there and then gone….does that make sense? Or did I lose everyone and now you all think I’m fruitcake? And this is why I don’t reread my postings…

Have a good day everyone, thanks again a million times over for the support! Payton


Lol you almost made my brain explode.

I'm really the same way about looking over posts, I can't go over them or I'd spend all day editing myself haha :) I've been able to follow you in this thread right up until your final post when you made your way into asking deep philosophical questions. We've had many people here who have documented their Suboxone tapering stories here and it seems to me that they have all seemed to greatly benefit from their writing. So I'm basically saying I'm not going to "judge" you and I hope you'll feel free to keep us updated on your progress and most of all I hope you start feeling better!

_________________
"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
-Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 3:58 pm 
Hi Payton! Glad you're starting to see a bit of improvement...and as far as your 'philosophical' ideas about the present, past and future - you know, just write what you're thinking. Like Matt2 said, it's all good for you. Hey, at least you're able to put some thoughts together at this point given all you're going through! I personally choose to cling more to the theory that there is indeed a present. I guess I think of it more as a "time frame" rather than down to seconds or minutes. Because in the case of only seconds, I guess you'd be somewhat correct - we're always into the next second....or something like that. lol. No matter - I think it's best for most of us addicts to stay in the "present" most of the time. I think that as we stabilize and progress in recovery we can start to think more in terms of the future without getting into trouble. Just a couple of thoughts.
donh - regarding your most recent post on this thread - I see no harm in your tapering yourself down a bit. I started Sub in July and stuck around 12-16mg/day for the first month or two, then dropped to 8mg/day essentially in one step, then after another month or so to 4 mg/day in essentially one step. By "essentially" I mean that I took that amount most days. I would have a day now and then (sometimes a couple days in a row even) in which I felt I was having some restless legs or anxiety or worse cravings and I would go ahead and take another 2-4mg dose in the evening. It has been pretty painless to reduce now down to 3mg/day. I give myself permission to take extra if I feel it necessary. My goal is not to get off Suboxone real quickly or anything. I just want to have myself on the lowest effective dose - it saves money and it seems to diminish any side effects, and in the remote chance that there was a medical emergency it's my understanding that the 'blockade' effect is lessened when you're on the lower dosages. So just reduce at your own pace and see how it goes - you really don't have anything to lose. I also wonder if by being on lower doses, especially if you take it real slow, will allow the brain to have some healing take place - in terms of starting to produce more 'feel-good' chemicals naturally. Another poster has discussed this theory before also. It makes sense to me. So hopefully, if I can get down to 1-2mg/day for as long as a couple of months and then taper even more to the under 1mg range, my brain will be better able to make the transition. Meaning minimal withdrawal and a greater chance for sustained sobriety after off Suboxone.
Anyway - hope everyone is having a great weekend and looking forward to a beautiful Christmas!
A reminder to myself and to everyone out there who believes - Although December 25 is not likely the actual day of our Saviour's birth, it is the day we recognize it and celebrate it. So take a moment this Christmas to just be still and worship God for the most precious gift of all!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:36 pm 
del


Last edited by Payton on Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject: Keep holding on
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:01 am 
Payton,
We're still here, mentally cheering you on and here to give what meager support we can. I guess I can only speak for myself, but I think you are a real trooper and if you just keep doing what you're doing minute by minute, you will come through this. I don't doubt for a minute that you are through with drugs, but if this experience won't be a deterrent to returning to active addiction, I don't know what is!
So, it's none of my business, but are you on an antidepressant? If the bad feelings stick around a few more weeks after the withdrawal settles down, you may want to look into meds. Of course, I'm sure you know this. You mentioned that your husband is supportive. Do you have other supportive family? My biggest supporters are my parents (I still live with them) and my sister and brother-in-law. I mean, for the last 10 years I have done nothing but screw up and lie, cheat, and steal from them, and they never gave up on me. They were always there for me, and I mean there were times my Dad actually gave me clothes he was wearing because I needed something. So now that I'm in recovery for REAL and I'm doing so well, this Christmas is very meaningful to my family and I.
When I was in active addiction my parents had kicked me out one time and I was living on the streets of Richmond for the winter of 2004. I needed a coat, so my Dad gave me his only work coat, a really nice Carhartt jacket. I promised to give it back. Of course, I lost the coat and never saw it again. Fast forward to this year....I've been clean for more than a year, it's the first Christmas in recovery I'll be home with my parents. So I actually ordered the same jacket through the mail and I'm giving it to my Dad as part of his Christmas present. It's like kind of symbolic, like now I'm back, and I can start repaying the debt I've run up.
God, it's so good to be clean!!
JD


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:11 pm 
del


Last edited by Payton on Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:48 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 879
Location: Wisconsin
I just wanted to say that as far as I am concerned, I think you have a great story to tell - and have told it very well so far. I know that you worry that something you say may somehow lead a reader to do this or that. Well, how I see it is, you are providing the truth about what has happened with you. You are not making things up. You are not lying about any of this. Therefore you are providing really important information that others can then use to help DECIDE for themselves how they want to proceed. You are not making any decisions for them. You are not telling them to do anything. You are simply putting out extremely valuable information that readers can then do with what they wish. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise and please don't think that you had the power to make anyone reading this do something that they didn't otherwise want to do.

If you are able and willing, I really do hope that you will continue to post how you are doing. Let us know what if any medications you still have to take. Have cravings returned? Like it or not, you have created a very valuable case study that many, many other people can learn from - and some already have. If nothing else, please understand and believe that you certainly will help many more people than you will hurt with the information you have already provided and may provide in the future.

The continued best of luck to you! Please stop back and let us know how everything continues to go.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:13 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:29 am
Posts: 246
I agree! Please keep posting. The good the bad the whatever!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:42 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:29 am
Posts: 164
Suboxone is the right drug at the right time for some and not for others. Long term maintenance is right for some and not for others. Suboxone is absolutely much much better than abusing prescribed and/or non-prescribed narcotics.

All anyone can do is tell their own story truthfully and let the reader make up their own mind.

Most all of us are adults here and responsible for our own choices. Unfortunately it's true that some teens also come to this forum seeking info and may get the wrong idea by simply reading PART of what is available here. Hopefully their parents and therapists are influential in their lives...

We can't be responsible for the [good or bad] choices others make based on what they read here. That is... as long as we tell the truth regarding our subs experience.

The information provided in this forum is priceless to all who come... but should only be one part of the decision making process with regards to recovery...

Please keep posting.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: here
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:39 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:38 am
Posts: 211
im here and now and 1 mg of clonodine is way too much :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:59 pm 
del


Last edited by Payton on Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:01 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 226
Location: Pennsylvania
You better not leave us hanging....lol! I know you wont. You are doing good, even if you aren't feeling 100%, you are progressing so much. Life is hard, with out addiction, and even harder with it. We all have to do what we need to do to get by. When something blocks our path, we must go around, go through, or go back. No one wants to turn around and go back. This is especially true with the recovery proccess for us addicts. You just keep on truckin' and stay strong. We are all here to help you, and to be helped. Your story has helped many of us as we have helped you and will continue doing so! Take care payton, and take it easy....

_________________
"The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know."----Rebecca Beard

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ---Salvador Dali


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: WOW!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:55 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2009 2:38 am
Posts: 84
I just finished reading this thread through and through. And after all of it, I had to post something.

Payton, thank you so much for documenting this experience, it has been very informative to me. I just started suboxone 3 weeks ago. Dropped my dose from 24mg to 6mg/daily. I've always been extremely concerned with coming off of suboxone, especially with all the mixed stories on the net.

Stay strong, you are doing great, and please continue to post! I don't know you, but can honestly say I am extremely proud of you.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone on this thread and forum. :D

_________________
P.L.U.R.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:31 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 226
Location: Pennsylvania
Hey just wanted to see how things are going....happy new year

_________________
"The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know."----Rebecca Beard

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ---Salvador Dali


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:59 pm 
del


Last edited by Payton on Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 3:02 pm 
Dear Payton, I'm glad you are feeling so much better! Thank you for giving us an update and don't feel the least bit bad about the 'novel' or about anything you have posted as you've gone through this experience. You've been extremely honest and open in sharing your personal and painful journey with us. It was a very unselfish and kind thing to do and I know your story has helped so many of us here.
It sounds like you're kind of in a new place now that the worst of the physical symptoms are behind you. You seem to be approaching your anxiety disorder and your addiction issues from a medical and intellectual standpoint, not only from an emotional standpoint and I would think that spells progress. I know for myself it is really difficult to move forward when my 'head' and my emotions are all wrapped up in what is already done. I'm not saying it's unimportant to look back and do some analyzing of how and why certain things happened and what led to what. But at some point we have to box it all up, put it away somewhere and begin to move forward.
I'm glad you have a supportive husband and a good therapist. I found your investigation of the differences between 'support' people and 'experts' etc to be interesting. I think you're probably right in that we all need a lot of both!
As far as the benzo issue, it never sounded to me like you were grossly abusing the Klonopin at all. But I think you were smart to get rid of it now that you're able to sleep and get by without taking anything. As addicts we have to be so careful with any mind or mood altering substances.
Anyway...enough said. Mainly I just wanted to say thank you for all your posts. And I wanted to wish you continued success in your recovery, your business, your marriage, and just life in general! Take care and don't hesitate to check in with us and chime in, even if it's just about your first sneeze-free day!!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:58 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 226
Location: Pennsylvania
Thank you payton. Thanks for getting back to us, thanks for listening, and most of thank you for sharing. It takes a lot to share what you have been going through. If anyone judged you for it then they should have not been in this thread. From the sounds of it you know what you need to do. You said a lot in that past post but it gave us a glimpse of what you are up against. I do have chronic pain, but I do not have an anxiety disorder that I know of. I cannot say I know exactly what you are going through but I can say that I have been trying to put my self in your situation this whole time while I have been trying to support you.

From the sounds of it, you will have much more going on in your life and either won't be able to or just choose not to post much here anymore. I hope you do get some time every now and then to give us an update, but for whatever reason (much respected reason either way) you do not come back to the forum, please know I wish you the best. Good luck with your recovery, good luck with your anxiety, and good luck with your life! I hope that you stay strong and continue to be successful with all of your challenges.

Great job so far!

_________________
"The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know."----Rebecca Beard

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ---Salvador Dali


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Dear Payton,
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:41 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:36 pm
Posts: 102
it really doesn#t matter how long withdrawal takes to come on in others, what is important is YOUR OWN tolerance and dosage etc. Please don't try to jump off drastically, you have to maintain/reduce your dosage according to your own metabolism. There is also a mental factor involved, so really you should take things easy and only reduce when you feel comfortable to do so.
Good luck with your fight, and I hope that you will be successful in the end. In fact, I'm SURE YOU WILL BE!
Sneaky


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:11 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:04 pm
Posts: 2
I have been on 2 mgs of suboxone for about 4 and 1/2 months. I pretty much had to come off cold turkey from two mgs. My last dose was on saturday and its monday. Sunday I felt quite fatigued my back hurt and depression. I had the restless leg syndrome when i tried to sleep but honestly this has been nothing compared to coming off methodone. Today I feel fatigued and my back hurts and im depressed but even still I can handle this its not that bad. I am just wondering if it will get worse in the coming few days??? Ive had a really hard time finding someone on here on a similar dose for a similar time period and could really use the knowledge of knowing this will get worse or not. Someone please respond.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:35 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
Hi Orion,

Suboxone withdrawal is thought to peak around days 5-10. Although it is much less intense than full acting opiate w/d, the acute phase can last 2 to 3 weeks. I wanted to reply so you can expect to feel a bit worse before you feel better. This is from reading on here for years. I will be jumping soon myself after 3 years but I have been tapering since Jan. of this year.

Oh p.s., try to get into the best headspace possible. Get into some tv series on Netflix watch instant! Law & order or something nice and long. Or stay active and busy. Don't keep reading about sub withdrawal on the Internet!


Good luck!

-Gb

Orionsdarkcloud wrote:
I have been on 2 mgs of suboxone for about 4 and 1/2 months. I pretty much had to come off cold turkey from two mgs. My last dose was on saturday and its monday. Sunday I felt quite fatigued my back hurt and depression. I had the restless leg syndrome when i tried to sleep but honestly this has been nothing compared to coming off methodone. Today I feel fatigued and my back hurts and im depressed but even still I can handle this its not that bad. I am just wondering if it will get worse in the coming few days??? Ive had a really hard time finding someone on here on a similar dose for a similar time period and could really use the knowledge of knowing this will get worse or not. Someone please respond.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Thank you Glen Bee
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:16 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:04 pm
Posts: 2
For responding to my post. Even though I have been noticing that like you said peak wds are days 5 to 10, I feel better at least knowing. I wasnt starting to get a little too confident. Ive been trying to kick all opiates for 4 years now. I started about 6 years ago and got on methadone ( which had I known better I wouldve never done ) and tried coming off it twice. The second time I got on suboxone. They tried to start me at ten milligrams but with what Ive experienced doctors don't seem to understand wd very well so I within the first week got myself to 2 mgs but let them think I was taking them all so I could stock up and wein myself off. But I didn't really wein myself I just jumped off at 2 mgs. Im not feeling all that awful. Nothing compared tomethodone. Even if this gets any worse I can't imagine anything being worse than that. Anyways I am gonna try to stop reading these posts so much. Sometimes it makes me feel better when I hear that other people are going through the same thing. I don't know many people and the ones I do know are not the kinda people I can tell about this so I am utterly alone in this which makes it a little harder. Anywho Thanks!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 87 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
cron
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group